Posts Tagged ‘Zootopia’

Well hey folks, and welcome to what is without a doubt the most magical part of the year for bloggers and reviewers alike. That magical time of year when I don’t have to try and figure out what on earth I’m gonna write about and instead have to try and remember what on earth I actually watched this year! And what better way to kick off our end of the year festivities than by setting our sights on the year past and remembering all those happy times we had. The long walks on the beach, the picturesque sunsets… all those horrifying news stories and horrible deaths… But anyway, let’s talk about some of that sweet sweet entertainment, shall we? And celebrate the escapism that such great features allowed us to have.

Micah’s Top Ten Movies of 2016

So this year, I feel like my top ten falls into three distinct categories. The “good but niche,” the “very entertaining but flawed” and the “any of these could have been number 1.” So let’s just jump right in there and see how these particular chips have fallen.

The Good But Niche

  1. Mr. Right

This is by far the Nichiest Niche movie on this list. It isn’t a perfect movie either from an action standpoint OR from a romance standpoint (it tries to do both.) But it’s just a fun movie! The script is quirky and fun, it’s anchored by great performances from Sam Rockwell and Anna Kendrick and the whole thing is just fun and crazy in very much its own way. It’s not a movie for everyone but I thoroughly enjoyed it.

mr-right-trailer

If this picture appeals to you: you should be watching this movie!

 

  1. The Magnificent Seven

Look I was very excited about this movie all year and when I finally got to see it, I was not disappointed. It wasn’t by any means a perfect movie, but it was just a good old fashioned Western and I always appreciate those. It was a fun cast led by Denzel Washington and Chris Pratt and the whole movie was just very evocative of all those old Westerns you grew up with!! Assuming you grew up in my house… which statistically you probably didn’t.

  1. The Nice Guys

Our final niche movie is probably the least nichiest of the three. The Nice Guys is a love letter from Director Shane Black to the classic Robert Downey Jr. movie “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang”… which was also directed by Shane Black. So yes… it’s a love letter to himself. But it’s a pretty good love letter as such things go (though an R rated one) and Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe turn in great performances as Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer… I mean,… whatever their characters in this movie were called.

The Very Entertaining but Flawed

  1. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was a great movie that marked a really fun return for the Harry Potter franchise. It had its problems as far as pacing and “this is the villain because umm… Voldermort??” But it was a genuinely fun movie that really felt like the Harry Potter universe despite featuring literally none of the original characters, and that is VERY not easy to do.

fantastic-beasts-and-where-to-find-them

Stay tuned for the tie in from Head and Shoulders: Fantastic Hair and Where to Find It.

 

  1. Zootopia

Frankly, Zootopia probably doesn’t belong in this category, but I couldn’t make a 4th category called “Culturally significant kids movies, that sneakily taught us about racism.” It’s a genuinely entertaining movie that really tries to say something and for the most part it’s really successful in doing so.  It doesn’t “transcend the genre” like some of Disney’s other offerings have over the last few years, but this was a kids movie that wasn’t just something to plop your kids in front of for an hour and a half. It was a heartfelt, well-made movie that had something to say to your kids, and that is very important.

zoo

He somehow thought we belonged in THAT category!

 

  1. Dr. Strange

Back into my fun but flawed category, we have Dr. Strange. I really, really loved this movie and it only dropped this far on my list because A: it did still follow Marvels tried and true origin story mold. And B: the other movies above it were very very good. But I had a lot of fun with Dr. Strange and it definitely cemented itself in the top three or four of the Marvel origin stories and that’s nothing to sneeze at. But really, what is to sneeze at? Who gives you a thing and you say, “well that’s something to sneeze at.” Why would you say that??? Ya weirdo.

  1. Star Trek Beyond

The last (and best) of this category , I feel, was Star Trek Beyond. Look, I’m well documented as being SUPER skeptical about this movie. I enjoyed the other two movies in the franchise, but I couldn’t really get myself excited for Star Trek Beyond. I only went to see it cause there wasn’t anything else in theaters and it got pretty decent reviews. And boy let me tell you no one was more surprised than I was when I ended up thoroughly enjoying myself!! The script was clever, the cast was great, and the whole thing just felt fun. The ending sequence especially I thought was super smart, brilliantly visualized, and very well soundtracked… Soundtrecked?? The soundtrack was great.

startreksocials

More like Sound Trek!!

 

The any of these could have been number 1.

Seriously though, I shuffled these around more times than I could conceivably explain to you (upwards of FIVE whole times) so in the end I threw my hands in the air, waved them as though I was unconcerned as to the opinions of those around me, and just decided to lump them all into this category. So here you go:

  1. The Arrival

Super great and thoughtful sci-fi beautifully shot and anchored by a frankly astounding performance from Amy Adams. It’s by no means your typical sci-fi movie but that in no way makes it a bad movie. I have no jokes for this particular paragraph. It’s a real good movie.

  1. Moana

Dang it Disney!!! Why must you keep making such great movies? I mean seriously this is a movie about a little island girl, a chicken, and the Rock but dang it if my tiny, teeny little Grinch-like heart wasn’t warmed by this thing. No classic Disney prince or love story to be found here, just a great movie with beautiful visuals, great music, and a touching story! I’m filled with anger and hate about how much this movie made me give a darn.

moana

And I will answer!!!

 

  1. Star Wars: Rogue One

I just did a review of this but suffice to say: this movie was great. It was exactly what a Star Wars side story should be and I desperately hope the rest of the Anthology series are as good, and as different from the originals/numerical movies. And again I have no joke here! Curse these movies and there ruining of my sarcasm.

  1. Captain America (and also Ironman): Civil War

There! See? There’s a joke! I put Ironman in the title. Got ya there Disney didn’t I? Me and my sweet burns!! Seriously though: it’s probably one of the best super hero movies ever and features what is (in my mind anyway) the greatest super hero fight scene ever (the airport sequence) AND it single handedly saved the Spiderman franchise. I mean come on people! How could this not be one of the four movies I couldn’t decide whether or not to make my top movie?? How could it not.

Captain-America-Civil-War-Key-Art

It’s the best… one of the 4 best anyway…

 

So there you go guys! My top ten movies of 2016 (with apologies to A Monster Calls and La La Land which I have not seen yet. Thanks for reading, thanks for another great year and I’ll see you Thursday when we flip over this reminiscing coin and look at the ten worst movies of 2016… and boy are there some worsts.

Well Internet, here we are! Our summer questions done, our movie reviews… reviewed… and things. So what say before we get whisked away by our next fun filled, sarcasm riddled, movie venture we check in with our local movie movie theaters and see where things stand in the great ladder of cinema?? Well, hopefully you answered yes because… that’s what we’re doing. Feedback is an issue on this one way website thing…

Box Office Top Ten 5/24/2016

10. Mother’s Day

Slinking in at number 10 like the last, ugliest slug in those famous Slug Parades of yore, is Mother’s Day. A movie that delicately balances the line between being horribly offensive to women, and being horribly offensive to humanity on the whole. Featuring a cast of uninteresting has beens, and a script based off of a dead pigeons vodka induced nightmare, Mother’s Day will hopefully be quickly swallowed by that sweet sweet embrace of movie death. Let’s never speak of it again.

9. The Huntsman: Winters War

the-huntsman-winters-war

Sure the mirror is great for questions and summoning’s but it’s the worst for applying makeup.

 

The Huntsman: Winters War is umm… Look: if you liked the first movie, you’ll probably like this. The visuals are interesting, the cast all deliver fairly solid performances, but the action and the script let the movie down. There’s nothing horribly wrong with Winters War, but there’s also nothing horribly right with it. If it’s in your wheelhouse you’ll probably like it, if not to quote that famouse city of New York “Fugget about it.”

8. Zootopia

Easily the best kids movie in theaters and the best one released this year. There are a couple other decent kids movies on the list, but if you haven’t see thing one: go see it.

7. The Darkness

6 Miranda Dr.

The cast of The Darkness reads the reviews of the movie.

 

Umm… So this is a horror movie. And it’s real bad. I’m submitting a formal request to Kevin Bacon to change his name after being in this movie. You’re a disgrace to the good named of ‘Bacon’ Kevin. I dub thee: Kevin Vegemite. Something that is maybe okay in small doses if used sparingly. It’s the perfect name.

6. Money Monster

A ‘meh’ action/suspense movie that wastes George Clooney and forgets that Julia Roberts stopped really mattering years ago. It also weirdly has message that boils down to “You probably shouldn’t take people hostage and wave guns around… unless you REALLY want to, and you REALLY think you’re right. Then I guess it’s okay.”

5. The Jungle Book

Another great kids movie/kind of adult movie currently in theaters. I’ve talked a lot about this and frankly haven’t seen it yet but by all accounts: it’s very good. I’ll see it at some point… maybe. I mean, let’s face it: I’m not even close to the target audience for this movie and while I might eventually rent it on DVD or something, The Jungle Book is a story I’ve seen before and don’t feel super motivated to see again just cause we threw a fresh coat of paint on it. I have nothing against it, but I also have nothing for it… or something.

4. The Nice Guys

Shane Black makes movies mostly for Shane Black movie fans. It’s an R rated action comedy movie starring a thoroughly off his meds Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling taking most of Crowe’s meds, The Nice Guys is actually a pretty fun ride. It’s nothing that’ll change your life or anything but it’s a genuinely fun movie starring two actors who have surprisingly good chemistry and throw themselves into things full bore.

ryan-gosling-800

Oh and the movie is set in the 70’s. Just in case you couldn’t tell from the everything in this picture.

 

3. Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising

It’s like that first Neighbors movie except umm… Women? As far as R rated comedy goes this isn’t bad, but it’s not especially great and lacks the originality that helped the first one along. Not much new to see here.

2. Captain America: Civil War

Ran a full review of this last week but suffice to say: this movie is awesome. The cast, the writing, the action, and the fighting are all top notch. It’s the best movie I’ve seen so far this year and tells a great, tight, story with characters that they’ve spent the last 5 years building. Also: Spiderman.

1. The Angry Bird Movie (for some reason)

angry burds

Why?? Why did they make this movie????

 

So basically Angry Birds is exactly what I thought it would be. It’s fine. It’s not great, it’s not terrible. It just sort of exists. It’s not a movie we needed or asked for, but it’s the movie we were given. And now it exists. You’re welcome, America.

Hello Citizens, and welcome back to part 2 in our annual, widely praised, and thinly waisted Summer tradition: Summer Questions… which is not a great name if you think about it… or at least not a super inventive one anyway. But why start inventing things now? Why strive to have cool fancy names like: Micah’s Summer Question Emporium, or Micah’s Quizzuical Query’s for your Summer Solstice? When you can just name it…

Summer Questions 2016: Part 2

1. Will Warcraft the movie be any good???

Meh. Look, it’ll be fine. It probably won’t be good, it probably won’t be terrible. It will be fine, stuff will get stabbed, that one big orc guy will probably get about 7 dollars from the tooth fairy for those big old canines of his,

warcraft

Tooth Fairy’s gonna need a Mack Truck to move those things…

 

and all of the big World of Warcraft gamers will either think it’s the best thing they’ve ever seen with their face-eyes, or absolutely the worst thing ever created. It’s how these things work. Judging purely on the trailers this is more The Hobbit, then it is Lord of the Rings. There won’t be anything egregious in it but it doesn’t seem like a movie that’s really gonna push any boundaries. It’ll be fine.

2. Will Finding Dory ruin my child??

It’s certainly possible. I mean, this is Disney we’re talking about and they basically have childhood nostalgia locked in that vault of theirs. That said the last “Do we REALLY need a sequel to that?” movie they released was Monsters University and while that movie was fine it certainly didn’t live up to the predecessor. That’s kind of what I expect to happen here, I think this will be a good movie, but I don’t think it will be in the same neighborhood as the original. We’ll just have to see what happens but my money wouldn’t be on lightning striking the ocean twice… unless we’re talking real life in here in which case I assume that happens all the time. Why don’t more fish die of electrocution?? Curse you science!!

3. Will Independence Day: Resurgance actually be a good movie??

Umm… it’s weird but I actually kind of think so. I mean I’m purely conjecturifying here but… those trailers have been great! That guy playing Will Smith’s son certainly doesn’t have any of Will Smith’s gravitas (did you lose Michael B Jordan’s phone number?) but that cast looks great and the trailers have had a surprising amount of great looking action. And that’s coming from someone who wasn’t a huge fan of the original, I mean I thought the original was fine but this looks REALLY good.

independence-day-new-poster-2016

In our defense, I had 21 years to prepare for adulthood and I had cold pizza for breakfast so… yeah.

 

4. Wait… they made another Tarzan movie?

Yes. Yes they did. And it looks kinda real bad. I mean it just looks like a movie that watched the Disney version of Tarzan and Tarzan 2 and said… “Oh we can do that.” Without taking into account the fact that those weren’t great movies. And no one really wanted another one. I mean how many Jungle people can we handle in one summer? And The Jungle Book is already making all the money so… I’m just not seeing   this being that great. Or even good. But man that one dude does look like Tarzan. If Tarzan was chiseled out of the most in shape rock ever. They had to invent new names for his muscles cause they just sort of kept popping out everywhere.

tarzan

Just look at that trapicuszoidable muscle.

 

5. Will Secret Life of Pets be better than Zootopia?

The short answer: Hahahahhaha no. Look, I’m not saying this movie will be terrible: but it might be terrible. It has put out some genuinely funny trailers but those trailers have all been more “Here’s a funny thing we thought of with pets” any trailers featuring the actual plot of this movie look… just tired. It’s a VERY familiar looking plot and while I’m sure there will be some funny moments, that’s pretty much all I expect out of this one. This is from the creators of the Minions franchise after all, a franchise that specializes in people saying “Well yeah, it’s not a great movie, but that one scene with that one thing is hilarious.” So yeah… watch Zootopia, wait for a “best of Secret Life of Pets” compilation on YouTube. You’ll thank me.

And there you go guys! Only one more episode of Micah’s Convivial Summer Questions Corner to go!! See ya Friday.

Well hey Internet, and welcome to another week in a month that can’t seem to make up its mind whether it wants to be spring or not. April, you’re spring. I promise. I know it’s hard sometime, what with winter standing next to you looking all dark and menacing with its beard all full of snowman, and crushed dreams and Jack Frost biting noses or whatever. But you’re spring, April. Be brave.

And on with the show:

Box Office Top Ten: 4/12/2016

10. Eye in the Sky

A movie starring Helen Mirren and Aaron Paul, Eye in the Sky is a taught, well told, political thriller. Good luck finding a theater showing it though! Ironically about a movie centering around drones that see everywhere: you can’t see this thing anywhere.  Also: Alan Rickman, is in this. Sadness.

Eye-in-the-Sky-Movie-Wallpaper-25

We miss you, Allen.

 

9. 10 Cloverfield Lane

Another great, very well told suspense movie Cloverfield Lane is not just for fans of the original Cloverfield. In fact the two have practically nothing to do with each other. They aren’t sister movies, so much as they are second cousin movies who have never met, or spoken to one another. Cloverfield was kind of clunky, and poorly shot, and basically was one semi-effectual gimmick away from being just another dumb monster movie. Cloverfield Lane is well shot, brilliantly acted, and very well streamlined. It’s great. Go see it (assuming you can find it.)

8. The Divergent Series: Allegiant

Speaking of clunky movies: Allegiant. The Hunger Games movie kind of got progressively worse (though 2 was still very good) and the Divergent Series seems to be following the Hunger Games straight down the steep steep landslide into terrible. The first movie in the series was tolderable, the last two have been nigh on unwatchable. It’s a shameful waste of Shailene (yes that’s how you spell her name) Woodley, but not as much of a shameful waste as the people whose time was wasted watching it.

divergent0002

“Wait, I can’t leave until I do another one of these?”

 

7. God’s Not Dead 2

It’s basically that “God’s Not Dead” movie just… again. Even in the niche genre of “Christian Movies” this is pretty bad. Not unlike the incredibly polar opposite genre the Horror movie, Christian movies can be really good, but tend to mire themselves down too much with sticking to tired tropes and feeding their existing fan base, but not really focusing on telling good stories, or writing complete characters.

6. Miracles From Heaven

Another Christian Genre movie, Miracles From Heaven is MUCH better then God’s Not Dead 2 (or GND2 as I will now refer to it.) It’s by no means The King Speech or anything but Jennifer Garner delivers a great performance in the lead and the characters are more rounded and the story more balanced.

5. Hardcore Henry

And speaking of Genre movies, here’s Hardcore Henry. An interesting idea, and definitely a movie aimed squarely at action fans, Hardcore Henry doesn’t even really bother with a story so much as it moves one hot person from one place to another and then make the main character (Henry as you may have assumed) chase her. It’s basically Mario… if Mario were an insane psychopathic murderer with a camera in his head… So not that much like Mario.

super-mario-header_g472_1920

Kill EVERYONE!!!

 

4. My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2

What’s that?? A sequel that came FAR too late, and that no one really wanted turned out not have any original ideas and lacked any sort of narrative structure or humor??? And is getting slammed by critics. Man. That is shocking. If only I had been saying that on this blog since this movie was announced. Seriously Hollywood, why did you make this??? Who thought this was a good idea??

3. Zootopia

Really the only widely available must see movie on this list, Zootopia still sits at a whopiing 98% on Rotten Tomatoes. Funny, inventive, and heartfelt Zootopia isn’t quite up there with Inside Out, but it is still a great movie that you should see regardless of the presence of small children in your life. And that you should DEFINITELY take your small children to see. By the time you get out of there it may be time for them to go to bed, And isn’t that the best time?

2. Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice

Somewhat shocking to find BvS at number 2 already but word of mouth is KILLING this movie. Even I can’t fully recommend going to see this, that said, it’s not terrible. I mean it’s not Fantastic 4. I’d even say, it’s better than Man of Steel (though not by much.) BvS’s big problem is that it was made by a person with what could charitably called a “lack of regard” for the characters he’s working with. Zach Snyder directs a good fight scene, but he hasn’t built a good world or interesting characters to inhabit the space between those fights.

1. The Boss

The talented duo of Melissa McCarthy and Kristen Bell turn in a VERY by the numbers comedy that doesn’t really make use of neither the talent, nor the duoness it has at its disposal. The jokes these two have to work with bring this whole movie crashing down around itself and it’s a shame that it never lives up to the strength of its cast.

mccarthy

“Yeah… sorry kid. I don’t want to be here either.”

So there you go guys! The top ten, with a sad sad amount of bottomness involved. Check back Thursday for more excitement, more thrills, more thoughts… we might have had.

So I wasn’t really planning on doing a Weekly Headlines this week, because if I’ve proven anything in the last four hundred or so posts, it’s that I am a bastion of mislabeling and not meeting expectations, but kind of a lot has happened in the last week or so, and thus (against my lazyer angels) I present an actual weekly edition, of the weekly headlines.

The Weekly Headlines 3-9-2016

In our lead story everyone is freeking out because the new Ghostbusters movie released a trailer and it was (admittedly) not great. But seriously internet,: chill. This is what Hollywood does these days, they make mediocre to bad remakes of things you loved and (very rarely) actually do justice to something. In no way does the release of this Ghostbusters affect your childhood memories of the originals. This is just another thing. The backlash against this trailer has been massive and (as stated) it was not a good trailer, but the movie could still be good. It’s a very talented, funny cast and I still think they might pull it off, but even if they don’t, the world will spin on. You will still be able to watch the original Ghostbusters and can feel free to ignore this entirely. That’s your right, you person you. Feel free to not see this movie if you want to really not see it, but don’t go on YouTube and spew your opinion all over the internet to a film company that (let’s be honest here) doesn’t care at all about your opinion. They just want your money.

chill

Unfortunately the Internet lacks a ‘chill the heck out’ button.

 

Also: people bought tickets to London has Fallen. Lots of people. Just– just why, guys?

In happy news Tom Hiddleston has thrown his hat into the 007 ring, as the old Bondilicious mashes the reset  button on Daniel Craig’s craggy face. Honestly, I think he’d be a great choice. The reason James Bond has lasted as long as he has is that the series takes a look around at what’s popular in the action genre, copies it, and throws in a dude in a suit and a girly drink. Craigs Bond was very clearly modeled after the Bourne movies, a gritty grit style of spy movie that favored harsh combat and heartfelt stares at the ocean. The new action movies though are leaning more towards big set pieces and senses of humor and if we learned anything from the mediocre pile of meh that was Spectre it’s that Craig was really not interested in injecting any fun into the franchise. Hiddleston though could definitely do that. So whatever, I think he would do awesome and I’m interested to see who they end up going with, just as long as that persons face isn’t all craggily and Craigy.

Mercy Street was recently renewed for a second season by PBS. Mercy Street of course is about umm… well it has to do with… Yeah, no one is watching this show.

Mercy Street

“Okay so… what is our show about again?”

 

Daredevil Season 2 comes out next week and early reviewers seem to agree that it’s basically pretty awesome, (which is good) though the pacing issues from season 1 are back, which means we can look forward to an episode or two where the characters sit on couches and explore their emotions and Daredevil spends a lot of time feeling bad about punching people,  before he continues to punch people.

At the box office this week Zootopia took the top spot and currently sits at a whopping 98% approval on Rottentomatoes.com. According to critics it’s ‘delightful’ ‘deep’ and ‘thought provoking.’ According to the children who watched it, it was ‘funny’ and ‘there were some sloths and a fox and… some sloths.’ Stupid children and there children’s movie.

Finnick-from-Zootopia

“Dang kids.”

 

Opening this weekend is The Divergent Series: Allegiant a movie that roughly four people will see… and three of them will be disappointed. Studies have shown that the fourth person, will be asleep.

J.K. Simmons was cast as Commissioner Gordon in the upcoming Justice League Part 1 Movie and that is potentially the best casting ever. Of anything. I mean Gary Oldman was great as Commissioner Gordon but J.K. Simmons takes great to whole new levels of great. Whole new mustache covered levels of sweetness. If nothing else good comes out of this movie, at least we’ll always have JK Simmons. Thank you, DC. Thank you.

jk

Sure they stole him from Spiderman, but some things are just worth stealing.

And there you have it internet, an actual weekly version, of the weekly headlines. I know, the miracles never cease.

Well hey Internet, and congratulations. We made it. We survived the horrors of Jefbruary. The empty theaters, the sad movies. The weeping faces of our children, the cries of our elderly, the beards of our peers. We made it.

And so we welcome March, like Creed would want us to, with arms wide open. And what does March hug us back with? What warm cinematic delights will be served on our barren plates? Let’s find out together.

The Marvelous Movies of March

March 4th

Knight of Cups – Terrence Malick returns with Knight of Cups a movie about Christian Bale and… yeah I have no idea what this is about. It’s Terrence Malick though so… odds are I won’t know what it’s about after I watch it either. Something something ‘follow your heart’ something something ‘maybe the world isn’t so bad.’ Oscar nomination.

cups

Terrence Malick Movies: Basically Eye Marijuana

 

Zootopia – Take your kids to see this movie. I don’t know what else to tell you, if you don’t have kids, borrow someone else’s kids and take them… Or… ya know, just go. Avoid the criminal charges. It’s gonna be great. Of course it’s gonna be great, it’s Disney. They have literally copywrited ‘great.’

London Has Fallen – Nope.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot – Tina Fey stars in a movie about an American reporter in war time Afghanistan. Looks pretty solid honestly, good cast, decent looking script. I don’t think it’ll be anything to change your life but this looks like a nice, well thought out mix of comedy and drama. I mean I’d go see Zootopia first (cause Disney owns… ya know everything) but this looks really good.

tango

Everyone gives thanks for Tina Fey.

 

Wow, look at March coming out of the gate strong. Thanks March, we missed you.

March 11th

The Brothers Grimsby – Oh look it’s that guy from Borat and he made a spy movie… yay?? Oh wait no. It’s gonna be terrible.

10 Cloverfield Lane – Look, I wasn’t a huge fan of the original Cloverfield because I enjoy movies that look like they were filmed by professionals, and make sense. That said this looks… good? I mean if nothing else it’s impressive that up until about a month ago no one knew this movie existed at all. I’m gonna keep an eye on this, if the reviews are good I’ll probably check it out, if nothing else just to see that guy who voiced Sully from Monsters Inc. go completely insane. Nothing like slowly stabbing my childhood memories to death.

10+Cloverfield+Lane

The Cabin in the Woods’ weird cousin.

 

March 18th

The Divergent Series: Allegiant – Wait these movies are still going?? Is this the third one or the fourth one?? Is Four still alive? Is his name still Four??

Allegiant-Character-Posters-Tris-Four

It’s like even the characters in the movie, aren’t entirely sure the movie is still happening.

 

March 25th

Get a Job – Anna Kendrick and Miles Teller star in a coming of age story about two college graduates who work a series of strange jobs and learn about… life?? I gues. Anyway, the movie also star Bryan Cranston and seems to be a pretty solid entry into a fairly saturated ‘Boy Life After College Kind of Sucks Doesn’t It?’ movies. It’ll be good, not sure about anything else but I’ll probably see it.

I Saw the Light – Tom Hiddleston (yes, Loki/British Tom Hiddleston) stars as country western star Hank Williams… Yup, Country Western. Tom Hiddleston. If nothing else you’ll see this cause your desperate to hear Tom Hiddleston talk in a DEEP southern accent for 2 hours. I fully intend to just pretend this is a weird sort of Earthcation for Loki for the entire movie and that may make this the best movie ever.

BO0R0866.JPG

No for real. It’s a thing.

 

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 – Sigh….

Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice – I know I’ve been kind of/incredibly cynical about this movie but now that its here I’m ready to try and put aside my concerns and hopefully just enjoy what happens on the screen. Look, this won’t be a great movie, but that doesn’t mean I can’t sit down and enjoy the parts of it that are good right?? The biggest problem with Batman v Superman (aside from the fact that it’s ‘vs.’) is that the Internet (myself included) has had two years to find things not to like about it. Granted, there have been some VERY poor decisions made by the promoters of it, but I think it’s time to set aside our past, and give Batman v Superman a chance to be good. Batfleck forever!!

batman

It’s okay Batman… I forgive you.

 

So there you go guys! The cinema returns!! Dinner and a movie dates can come back!! Be at peace my inter-children!! Be at peace.

Well hey Internet, sorry for the brief delay in posting yesterday (i.e. I didn’t) but here we are today, facing a new day… today. Specifically. Anyway, let’s just make with the headlines shall we ?

Weekly Headlines 3-2-2016

High School Musical 4 is officially happening guys. This is it. It’s the end.

High-School-Musical-Where-Now

And you thought Trump was gonna destroy America!… Politics!!!

 

In positive news, there’s a new Finding Dory trailer, and that looks great. A whole new generation of children can watch this movie hundreds of times and force their parents to buy them fish and then watch those fish slowly die, sad deaths. Thanks, Disney.

Leanardo DeCaprio finally won his Oscar award. A huge testament to rich, beautiful people everywhere, that if they really stick to their guns, make lots of money, and date super models, they too can win tiny golden statues and have everyone applaud them for it. Seriously though: congrats Leo. Way to not let that bear keep you down.

leo-dicaprio

He overcame so much!!… I guess.

 

Gods of Egypt was released this week. And it was exactly bad as we all thought it inevitably would be. Cause nothing says bad movie quite like a Scottish guy and aGgreek guy playing Egyptian guys in a movie released in February.

Meanwhile, Deadpool continues to reign mightily oe’r the box office, but lurking in the shadows like an adorably animated death Puma, is Disney’s Zootopia coming out this weekend. A movie that not only ticks all the “great kids movie” boxes but also currently sits at 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. So enjoy this last week on your throne Deadpool, the children are coming!!!

Mad Max: Fury Road won 6 Academy Awards Sunday, making it the first movie to ever win academy awards while featuring a blind man, playing a flaming guitar, on top of a truck filled with speakers. I didn’t research that stat at all but… it feels pretty safe.

iOTA-Mad-Max-Guitarist

6 Oscars everone… 6.

 

Terrence Malick’s new film “Knight of Cups” comes out this weekend, all we really know about it right now is it’s gonna be REAL weird, and star Christian Bale.

Also being released this week: London Has Fallen, A movie starring a Scottish guy, pretending to be American, defending Britain. Yeah… we’re sorry Britain, this one got away from us. Please don’t stop sending us Sherlock just cause we did this to you.

Hit show Downton Abbey is about to air its final episode next week. Expert predictors have said: Something British will happen, and have confirmed that Mary married arguably the least interesting race car driver, to ever drive a race car.

boredom

He’s sponsored by Z-Quil, Nyquil, and the Sheep Counting Federation.

 

In sports news: Spring Training has started, and me and all my nerdy baseball friends, excitedly gathered in our basements and started comparing stat sheets.

In other Oscar news Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu won the award for ‘Most Likely Person to Have Made Up Their Name.’ And Inside Out won for ‘Best Animated Feature’ and ‘Feature You Definitely Cried At.’

And there you have it guys! Check back in tomorrow for more Thoughts, more words, and more… basically of me… sayin’ stuff.