Posts Tagged ‘Wonder Woman’

Well hey Internet, and welcome back to Thoughts We Might Have Had and the magical moments when we as a website sit down, place our index fingers delicately upon the wrist of the box office and take a reading of:

The Box Office Top Ten 6-29-2017

Number 10: Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2

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Still not for this movie… still an awesome poster.

 

This movie’s still hanging around for some reason so… yeah. I mean if you haven’t seen this yet you clearly don’t want to and aren’t planning to but… I mean you should. It’s real real good. It’s a delightful 2 hours of cinema that very nicely builds on some established characters that we like but… ya know, you do you.

Number 9: Captain Underpants: Something Something Underpants Is a Funny Word

It’s a kids movie and it’s more or less fine. If your kid doesn’t want to watch Cars 3 because they have some self-respect and a refined cinematic pallet then… I mean you’ve got a pretty sweet kid, but Captain Underpants isn’t exactly the kid version of Citizen Kane or anything. Consequently: I officially copyright the idea for Kid Citizen Kane. Cause that’s a great idea.

Number 8: Rough Night

A very well cast comedy that’s more or less fine as far as R rated comedies go. The jokes don’t live up to the cast’s talent but… it’s more or less fine. That’s the most resounding recommendation I can muster for this.

Number 7: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Franchises Keep Telling Tales

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Dead Men also apparently use no facial cream huh Javier?

 

It’s a Pirates movie… did I review this? Did I see this??? How many Pirates movies have I reviewed/scene on this website?? No one remembers, and there’s no way to find out. Pirates of the Caribbean exists in a separate pocket dimension where people still care about Johnny Depp and don’t mind if you re-hash the same 4 jokes for two and a half hours. Don’t go near that dimension guys. Just don’t do it.

Number 6: All Eyez On Me

A dissapointingly bland story about rap Icon Tupac Shakur. Demetrius Shipp Jr. does a great job with Tupac but the rest of the movie is basically just a paint by numbers biopic which is a shame.

Number 5: The Mummy

I just did a full review of this and suffice to say: it wasn’t as bad as you’ve heard, but it’s not as good as you hoped. Man… I could have saved myself about 900 words if I’d have just written that on Tuesday huh?

Number 4: 47 Meters Down

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Oh yeah… this seems like a good idea.

 

Two girls get stuck in a shark cage 47 Meters under the ocean and well… there are sharks. Honestly this is a pretty decent movie. It’s not great or anything, but it’s pretty good. Suspense. Sharks… I mean that’s really all I need.

Number 3: Cars 3

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Cars 3… cause umm… I don’t know… we had to do something with these computers.

 

Cars 3 is fine. It’s a 2010 Dodge Ram with 100,000 miles. It just sort of exists. It’s not terrible, it’s not good, it just sort of gets you from point A to point B. And yes that was definitely the most relevant car reference I have ever made.

Number 2: Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman is still here guys, and it’s still pretty dang great. Take your kids, take your wives, take anyone who wants to be taken to a movie theater and watch what we can now safely say is the best DC comics movie since The Dark Knight. So thanks DC. You did it. Finally. Like seriously: Finally.

Number 1: Transformers: The Last Knight

I’m out of words for Transformers movies guys. I’ve got nothing left. I’ve spent years hurling verbal insults at these movies and I’m just tired. The Last Knight still has bad writing, literally the exact same plot as every other transformers movies, sloppy action, poor pacing, and zero new ideas rattling around in its robot head. And yet, here it is at number 1. To be fair: This is the lowest opening ever for a Transformers movie so… that’s nice. But just once I want to see a Transformers movie open at number 6 or something like that… it would warm my tiny tiny heart.

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Look it’s a Dragon guys!! Look, at the Dragon? You like Dragons right?? Dragons? Robot Dragons? You like that right???

 

And there you have it guys: the whole kit, the whole caboodle! If you want even more of the things my brain does why not check out my podcast at thepsv.podbean.com Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week!

Hey Internet, boy am I glad to be back, but not nearly as glad (I’m aware) as you are to have me. It’s okay my children, my blessed waifs of the internet. Come. Gather round my internet fire, and let us all warm ourselves in the glow of one of our most sacred Thoughts We Might Have Had traditions: bold and centered font. And also:

Summer Questions 2017: Part 1

Number 1: Can Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 be a good follow up to the first?

The good news is that because my summer questions are a little late this year we’ve already got a real solid answer to this: yes. Yes it can. The reviews have basically all been positive and while it’s generally agreed that it’s not quite as good as the original, the original was VERY good and this just being “very good” is still pretty good! Or very good. Or something.

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It’s weird to say this but… this movie lived up to its potential!!

 

Number 2: Can King Arthur: Legend of the Sword be… I don’t know… anything more than just another Guy Ritchie movie about people running around doing vague things with quick cuts?

Probably not. I mean look, I like Guy Ritchie movies on the whole but they’re never really about much more than youngish people smash cutting around a city. I’m not saying this will be a bad movie, I’m just saying that there will probably be a lot more flash than there is substance to this one.

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Wait a second… is this our most attractive King Arthur??

 

Number 3: Will Alien: Covenant actually be a good Alien movie?

I mean statistically: No. It’s got all the earmarks of a bad movie: forced sequel to a mediocre movie, director who may or may not understand why people like this franchise (he seems to think we LOVE pseudo-space philosophy and characters making weirdly inappropriate statements about the value of strong women and not… ya know, actual strong female characters and Aliens), and plans to make several more movies in the series meaning that this one will probably not actually resolve. I mean look: it could be good. I hope it’s good! I like the good Alien movies… but this will probably not be one.

Number 4: How do people keep making Pirates of the Caribbean movies?

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Pirates of the Caribbean: You WILL like Johnny Depp. You WILL!!!

 

Look, here’s the thing: Pirates of the Caribbean 3, was a genuinely bad movie that brought that trilogy to a weird and confusing end. The whole “trilogy” thing just never really worked at all. That said: 1 and 4 were actually pretty good, so when the old PotC franchise has stuck to single story films they’ve done okay for themselves and this movie actually looks serviceably interesting. Honestly, the only thing that really freaks me out about it is the fact that apparently Orlando Bloom is back (Keira Knightely is as well but supposedly only in a cameo so whatever.) I feel like Pirates of the Caribbean is a great vehicle for good pirate movies, and we just sort of happen to put them all in the same universe, I get nervous that we’re gonna reach back and include things from earlier in the franchise cause that generally means some writer somewhere got locked in a room until he could work out twenty minutes of Piraty things for Orlando Bloom to do and that’s no way to make a movie, my friend. No way.

Number 5: Can Wonder Woman possibly somehow against all odds be a good movie?

Look guys… it’s just so dang hard to say. On the one hand: all the material for this has looked great. The trailers, the design, the cast, all of it. On the other hand: this is DC comics. DC has spent the last couple years selling us on trailers but then delivering bad movies with lazy writing and so many cooks in the kitchen that the soup morphed into a living amalgamation of death and disease that laid the world to waste. I hope Wonder Woman is good. Deep deep down past my layers of cynicism, bitterness, and toffee cream cakes I think it will be good. But I can’t honestly that it will be. I’ve been burned too many times man… by too many soups.

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Power!! X’s!!! Woman!!

 

And that’s where we shall leave things for today my inter-children. Be blessed. Be filled. Come back Thursday for more answers, more questions, and more vague cooking references!

Internet!! Great gatsby but it’s been a huge week for trailers!! And where have I been you ask? Where have I, your noble and wisdom filled guide been while you floundered in a sea of trailers?? I don’t know… here and there… doing stuff… the usual.

But regardless of my eery and unexplained absence from the blog on Tuesday, I’m here now, so rest your weary and worry filled heads upon my blog bosoms, Internet. And let us heal (and watch some trailers) together.

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Comic-con is watching you!! 

Doctor Strange 

Look, there’s not a ton else I can say about this one except for: Holy son of purple capes I am excited for this!! I mean Cumberbatch, Ejiofor, magic entering the Marvel Cinematic Universe, this whole thing is gonna be absolutely fantastic. I’m all in. I’m beyond all in, I took my all in out, then put it all back in again and I shook it ALL about.

Wonder Woman

Okay so, yes, Batman V Superman was… underwhelming. And scattered. And grim. And frankly just kinda dumb. But, Wonder Woman was on of its better parts, and this trailer looks great! World War 1 is an awesome setting, Chris Pine will be great, and the movie looks like it might finally be a departure from Zach Snyder’s grim gritty grit grit style of storytelling. That said, I’ve officially hit the “I’ll believe when I see it” point with DC movies. They’re gonna have to make something that is legitimately good before I get too excited about any of their movies from here on out. You’ve hurt me DC… you’ve hurt me bad… and only you can fix it.

Justice League

Does anyone get the feeling that someone is walking around the set of this movie, slapping Zach Snyder’s wrist overtime he says anything about “darker” or “frown more” or “let’s have Batman kill a ton of people for no reason.” I mean this looks good guys. Affleck is in full on charming Affleck mode, Ezra Miller seems to do a good Barry Allen, Jason Momoa basically IS Aquaman so, what’s not to like??? Oh yeah, that’s right: DC can’t make good movies!! Look, maybe this is the turning point, I mean it certainly could be, right? It LOOKS like they fixed some of the problems from Batman V Superman… but as stated above, at this point the impetus is on DC to prove they can do this well.

Kong: Skull Island

So… it’s okay that I don’t care about this right?? Cause I’m pretty sure I don’t. I mean, whatever, the cast looks good, and umm… I mean someone gave King Kong just ALL the steroids apparently but, I’m pretty sure I still don’t care. Hang on… checking… nope. Don’t care.

The Great Wall

So, don’t take this the wrong way but… what are all these white people doing in Ancient China?? Also, yes I’m aware that this wasn’t a comic-con trailer, but it was either this or the VERY generic looking King Arthur movie and as little as I cared about Skull Island I care about that WAY less. So anyway, this looks… like a thing. I mean… this could be good right?? That said: it comes out in February. And if we’ve learned one thing over the years I’ve been running this blog it’s that, every movie (even movies that could be good) sucks in February. So I don’t know… it’ll probably be interesting at least, Matt Damon, monsters, the great wall of China, plus whatever weird half baked excuse we come up with to explain all the white people! I’d pay ten dollars just to see that!!

So there you go guys!! We did it, we made it!! Together. Like we were always meant to! Check back next Tuesday when I reach into the old mailbag, and pull out some old mail questions!! I mean… new questions. (email thoughtswemighthavehad@gmail.com with yours!)