Posts Tagged ‘Weekly Headlines’

Hello Internet, and welcome back to Thursday here at Thoughts We Might Have Had. We switched to Friday’s for a bit there but now we’re back with Thursday, like an old comfortable pillow that wraps you in warmth and that vague smell of those Cheetos you keep dropping on it. And what better way to welcome Thursday back into our lives than with another time honored tradition of the blog: The Weekly Headlines.

Weekly Headlines 8/11/2016

James Wan (the director of the new Aquaman) says the Mortal Kombat movie he’s producing is well on track. Wait, we’re making a new Mortal Kombat??? What was wrong with the old Mortal Kombat, James? It was the perfect Mortal Kombat movie, it was low budget and non-sensical and looked like it had been thrown together at the last minute! What could be more Mortal Kombat than that??

mortal_kombat_02

Who could possibly find fault with this??

 

Speaking of Aquaman it was recently confirmed that, Black Manta will be the main villain in Aquaman’s new movie. For those of you who don’t know (because you have actual lives made up of actual people) Black Manta is sort of a… he’s a guy. In a suit. And not a manta… in fact his suit doesn’t even really look like a manta at all. Sort of just a giant… bug. But her’s not a bug, he’s just a guy in a suit. So they call him black manta because… umm… look I can’t explain everything okay? He’s a guy with a big helmet and he doesn’t like Aquaman because… Aquaman know what Black Manta’s actually look like. Okay? Let’s… let’s just move on.

manta

“Just trust me okay? This is what Manta’s look like…”

 

In even more comic book news, the Mad Hatter was recently cast in Season 3 of Gotham. What’s that? No one cares about a third string villain being cast in a second string TV show?? Oh. Umm…

Ghost Rider will be coming to Agents of Shield!! But not the real Ghost Rider. No this is the other Ghost Rider, the one who doesn’t ride a motorcycle. He drives a car. So he’s really more Ghost Driver. And instead of being called Johnny Blaze, he’s called Robbie Reyes… which has nothing to do with fire. What’s that?? No one cares about a knock-off version of a super-hero cast in a show with a rapidly dwindling audience and a distinct lack of interesting heroes?? Dang… Okay how about…

The Tinkerer has been cast in Spiderman: Homecoming. Okay look, I know he’s not a famous villain but at least he’s in a movie okay! I can’t help it if all the news this week was about irrelevant TV shows desperately trying to sneak back into the limelight! I don’t make the news! I just ignore it, until I have nothing else to blog about! Geeze.

Tinkerer_head

Yes. The Tinkerer is basically your Grand-dad.

 

Jack Reacher: Never Go Back released a new poster!! What?? Hey that first movie was good. It’s not my fault nobody watched it or cares about it!

Jack_Reacher_Never_Go_Back_primer_poster_usa

Sorry Jack. Nobody cares.

 

The company that makes those Chronicles of Narnia movies has announced that they’re going to continued making those Chronicles of Narnia movies… so that’s news I guess. At least they confirmed that they are gonna do The Silver Chair and not mash that old Re-boot button everyone is so fond of. On the plus side The Silver Chair actually lends itself VERY nicely to a film, unlike The Dawn Treader (the last movie they made.) On the down side: these are the same people that directed the massive, horrifying, on fire trainwreck that was The Dawn Treader.

So the cast of Oceans 8 is just about finished. No, that wasn’t a typo, Oceans 8. It’s the female led spin-off to the Ocean’s 11 franchise, headlined by Sandra Bullock and Cate Blanchett, and now also includes Anne Hathaway, Helena Bonham-Carter, Mindly Kalligh, and (for some reason) Rihanna. I mean we all know that I love a good heist movie so I’m at least down with the idea of this! Like the cast, like the concept, we’ll just have to see what happens with it! There, surely that was headline worthy right??

Oceans-8

3 actresses and a pop star walk into a bar… and then they rob it.

 

So there you go guys… thems the news. I’ll see you next week for my annual Summer Awards!

Well hello Internet, friends, family, people who have accidentally clicked on this website and will be grossly disappointed by its contents. No matter what road you took to get here, or what road you’ll take to leave here, welcome to here. The place we call: “here.” And now: on to the headlines.

The Weekly Headlines 4/19/2016

So we now live in a world where this exists.

denzel

You’re welcome world.

 

Yeah, I’m in granted, it’s still not a great world. But I’m super excited for that mess. Denzel, Pratt, and Vincent D’Noff… that guy from Daredevil is in there too. The Magnificent Seven is supposed to hit theaters September 23rd and I am all in. I mean what was the last great Western?? True Grit?? In 2010? Yeah. I’m in on this like flys on a dead dog. Like a dead dog on a dead log. Like Abraham Lincoln on a log cabin. And other westernisms.

Netflix’s next new series: Iron Fist started production recently! Very excited to see where this goes and to watch some sweet sweet Kung Fu fighting. I had some questions about the Netflixiverse after Daredevil season 1’s pacing problems but a great Jessica Jones series and a really solid second outing for Daredevil has me back in. Excited for this and for Luke Cage and then the Defenders super combo series!! There’s so much to be excited for, the world is a magical place! Why am I filled with bitterness again?

awesome

James Cameron announced plans to make 4 Avatar movies. Oh right… that’s why.

grumpikitty

Look James, I got the first movie, sure it was basically just Blue Pocahontas. But it was real pretty, so I guess that’s something. But 4 movies??? 4 movies based around the idea of “hey look at that thing.” And all of them featuring the semi-talents of Hollywoods “Oh he’s not as talented as we thought he was”  Sam Worthington? Thanks James, but no thanks. Maybe go back and fix the Terminator franchise or something, I don’t know, but let’s just leave the fact that Avatar is somehow still the highest grossing movie of all time and minimize our cinematic shame.

Captain America: Civil War (premiering May 6th) has gotten positive early reviews thus far. This needs to be taken with all the grains of salt though as most movies that let people watch them this early only let people watch them who they know will like them. I mean “Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Ignoring Character Building” got good early reviews and that movie currently sits at a whopping 28% on Rotten Tomatoes. That said, it seems to be a really solid movie and I am ALL the excited about it. ALL the excited. Oh and apparently (according to rumor) Spiderman is in it more than a lot of people thought, so that’s a win.

Suicide Squad released it’s last trailer last week and it honestly still looks pretty good. The trailer at least made it look like Batman is featured fairly heavily (always nice) and the movie really seems to be trying to distance itself from Batman V Superman which is a VERY good thing in this case. And hey, at least this DC product has released great trailers that haven’t given away the villain, the plot, and the twist at the end. They’re learning… slowly. But they’re learning.

SuicideSquad

What do you mean we shouldn’t give away huge swaths of the plot??

 

Jason Bourne (cause apparently we’re not putting a 4 next to that for some reason) is releasing a trailer this Thursday. The movie hits theaters July 29th and as far as we know we’re all ignoring that whole “Jeremy Renner is the new Bourne” thing that happened. Which is fine with me cause I certainly ignored that movie so why should I demand any more out of the company that spent millions of dollars producing it?

bourne

JasonBourne: Because numbers and spaces are for wimps.

 

The Jungle Book took the top spot at the box office this week, playing on the nostalgia of parents, childrens desires to see talking animals, and Disney’s desire to take over the world one dollar at a time. Batman V Superman has fallen all the way to number 4 just ahead of the wildly better (and also talkingly animaled) Zootopia. Behind Zootopia is “Criminal” a movie from the continueing extremely odd trend of old white guys trying to be Liam Neeson. Look guys, there’s only one Liam Neeson.  And he’s Liam Neeson. And he’s probably standing right behind you with a gun.

And in a late addition to this week’s Headlines, Warcraft released a new Trailer this morning. And guys… I’m mostly out on this being a great movie. It MIGHT still be good, it will probably be fun. But I think it’s definitely out on greatness. Just the acting seems spotty, and the more I watch the Orcs the more I think we won’t really be able to connect with them as characters. They just look kinda rubbery. And the story is basically Warcraft 3, which is fine, that’s about what I expected, but the acting has me concerned. I think it will definitely be a fun sort of nostalgic run through swords and shields and magic, but it’s not gonna have the gravitas needed to reach that Lord of the Rings kind of greatness.

And there you go fair friends, brothers and sisters of this Interconnected Web-like device. Fare thee well, until I see thee once more upon Friday.

So I wasn’t really planning on doing a Weekly Headlines this week, because if I’ve proven anything in the last four hundred or so posts, it’s that I am a bastion of mislabeling and not meeting expectations, but kind of a lot has happened in the last week or so, and thus (against my lazyer angels) I present an actual weekly edition, of the weekly headlines.

The Weekly Headlines 3-9-2016

In our lead story everyone is freeking out because the new Ghostbusters movie released a trailer and it was (admittedly) not great. But seriously internet,: chill. This is what Hollywood does these days, they make mediocre to bad remakes of things you loved and (very rarely) actually do justice to something. In no way does the release of this Ghostbusters affect your childhood memories of the originals. This is just another thing. The backlash against this trailer has been massive and (as stated) it was not a good trailer, but the movie could still be good. It’s a very talented, funny cast and I still think they might pull it off, but even if they don’t, the world will spin on. You will still be able to watch the original Ghostbusters and can feel free to ignore this entirely. That’s your right, you person you. Feel free to not see this movie if you want to really not see it, but don’t go on YouTube and spew your opinion all over the internet to a film company that (let’s be honest here) doesn’t care at all about your opinion. They just want your money.

chill

Unfortunately the Internet lacks a ‘chill the heck out’ button.

 

Also: people bought tickets to London has Fallen. Lots of people. Just– just why, guys?

In happy news Tom Hiddleston has thrown his hat into the 007 ring, as the old Bondilicious mashes the reset  button on Daniel Craig’s craggy face. Honestly, I think he’d be a great choice. The reason James Bond has lasted as long as he has is that the series takes a look around at what’s popular in the action genre, copies it, and throws in a dude in a suit and a girly drink. Craigs Bond was very clearly modeled after the Bourne movies, a gritty grit style of spy movie that favored harsh combat and heartfelt stares at the ocean. The new action movies though are leaning more towards big set pieces and senses of humor and if we learned anything from the mediocre pile of meh that was Spectre it’s that Craig was really not interested in injecting any fun into the franchise. Hiddleston though could definitely do that. So whatever, I think he would do awesome and I’m interested to see who they end up going with, just as long as that persons face isn’t all craggily and Craigy.

Mercy Street was recently renewed for a second season by PBS. Mercy Street of course is about umm… well it has to do with… Yeah, no one is watching this show.

Mercy Street

“Okay so… what is our show about again?”

 

Daredevil Season 2 comes out next week and early reviewers seem to agree that it’s basically pretty awesome, (which is good) though the pacing issues from season 1 are back, which means we can look forward to an episode or two where the characters sit on couches and explore their emotions and Daredevil spends a lot of time feeling bad about punching people,  before he continues to punch people.

At the box office this week Zootopia took the top spot and currently sits at a whopping 98% approval on Rottentomatoes.com. According to critics it’s ‘delightful’ ‘deep’ and ‘thought provoking.’ According to the children who watched it, it was ‘funny’ and ‘there were some sloths and a fox and… some sloths.’ Stupid children and there children’s movie.

Finnick-from-Zootopia

“Dang kids.”

 

Opening this weekend is The Divergent Series: Allegiant a movie that roughly four people will see… and three of them will be disappointed. Studies have shown that the fourth person, will be asleep.

J.K. Simmons was cast as Commissioner Gordon in the upcoming Justice League Part 1 Movie and that is potentially the best casting ever. Of anything. I mean Gary Oldman was great as Commissioner Gordon but J.K. Simmons takes great to whole new levels of great. Whole new mustache covered levels of sweetness. If nothing else good comes out of this movie, at least we’ll always have JK Simmons. Thank you, DC. Thank you.

jk

Sure they stole him from Spiderman, but some things are just worth stealing.

And there you have it internet, an actual weekly version, of the weekly headlines. I know, the miracles never cease.

Well hey Internet, let’s keep it short intro-wise today huh?? I mean, let’s focus on what really matters. The things that reach inside us and pull out… organs. I mean- Emotions. And feelings. And things. Let’s focus on the thing that brings us all together, that lifts us up, where we belong. Namely: The Weekly Headlines.

Yeah that’s right, only two weeks between weekly headliens, still not… ya know weekly. But closer, and if closer isn’t good enough… then I don’t know, you’re probably not on the right website.

Weekly Headlines 2/2/2016

So it’s Groundhog day. I don’t know… find a groundhog and tell it you love it… I guess?? Look, I wrote a big article on this a couple years ago, so just insert some Bill Murray joke here and let’s all roll on with our day shall we?? Maybe I’m just not in the mood this year. Maybe, the holiday has just gotten way to commercialized this year what with all the cards, and the candy, and the groundhog flowers… I don’t know man. I just feel like some of the magic of that one thing coming out of the ground and seeing some stuff is just gone. It’s a sad world we live in.

groundhog_vsh4oy

I miss the older, simpler groundhog day.

 

The Guardians of the Galaxy 2 starts filming next week!! Rumors abound about the plot/characters/space dogs but thus far all we know for sure is that it will feature Chris Pratt’s gyrating hipps, a cool 60’s soundtrack, and that it will be awesome.

In a strangely interesting weekend (for February) Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, and the Coen Brothers new movie “Hail Caesar” both come out this weekend. There aren’t a lot of reviews in yet for Hail Caesar, but Pride and Prejudice and Zombies has gotten reviews expressing pretty much exactly what I thought they would “It’s decent.” So if that’s your thing… do your thing. I guess. (also Matt Smith is apparently great in it.)

Alice Through the Looking Glass released some TV spots this week, which was sad because A: It’s Alan Rickman’s last movie. And B: Someone made Alice Through the Looking Glass.

cater

It makes me sad…

 

Nicholas Sparks’ The Choice movie comes out soon. I know NOTHING about this movie but it’s Nicholas Spark so I assume it features some people who love each other sitting next to the ocean, then not loving each other and staring out at the ocean, and then loving each other again and kissing in the ocean. And also: The Ocean.

Elizabeth Banks today announced that she’ll be playing (and I’m not making this up) Rita Repulsa… In (and I’m not making this up) The Power Rangers re-boot that’s coming in 2017. When asked to comment on this umm… career move??? Elizabeth said: “Yeah I wore A LOT of makeup for the Hunger Games, I’m thinking it’s beginning to affect my higher brain functions. I mean I still direct Pitch Perfect 2, but I have an insatiable desire to be featured in 90’s kids show, with poorly choreographed fight scenes, and storylines written by a narcoleptic ferret.” So it was either Power Rangers or…” And then she just sort of… trailed off. We’re concerned.

Ritafull

Ironically this is nothing compared to what Elizabeth is used to doing costume-wise.

 

The Last Witch Hunter is out of DVD today, offering you all the freedom you always dreamed of to watch Vin Diesel growl at Elijah Wood in a priest costume. And I mean who hasn’t had that dream at least once??

So just me huh?

The game Xcom 2 comes out on Friday so… I wouldn’t plan on me doing anything for the next oh… month or so. Just so we’re all ready for reality.

Kung Fu Panda 3 was the top movie at the box office this week receiving such incredible reviews as “My kids shut up for a bit so… that was nice.” And “It was a movie that directly followed the events and storylines of Kung Fu Panda 1 and 2.”

Oh and in our final story, Agent Carter is back!! Are you watching Agent Carter?? Are you watching it now?? Cause if you’re not, what are you possibly doing with your time?!?! Having a social life? Spending time with your family?? Pshaw. I say: Pshaw. Agent Carter.

agent-carter

Agent Carter, it’s a lot like Agents of SHIELD… except way better.

 

Thanks for reading guys!! A little shorter today, but I’m building up for a big Grease post on Thursday and hey if you want more Thoughts We Might Have Had why not click HERE and read my latest piece for MoviePilot.com wherein I reveal DC’s biggest weapon against Marvel.

Well hey Internet, I’m back. Safe and sound and sounding safe. Yes, I like so many Douglas McCarther’s, Terminators, and Gandalf’s before me, have risen up from the ashes of defeat and come back. And when I say ‘ashes of defeat’ I mean ‘vacation.’ I’ve lived a hard life. Anyway, here are the weekly headlines.

 The Weekly Headlines 6/16/2015

So Jurassic World is in theaters. And some people saw it. Okay, so a lot of people. 208.8 million dollars’ worth of people, in fact. Which with modern day movie ticket prices rounds out to roughly 20 people. Studio executives were quoted saying that they were: “Very plesiosaured.”

This bear is ashamed of me...

This bear is ashamed of that joke… as am I.

So… Disney announced this week that they’re making a sequel to Maleficent. You guys remember Maleficent right? Kind of terrible, took Maleficent and made her into an incredibly indecisive person with an impossible to understand, extremely inconsistent allergy to metal. Anyway, if there’s one thing we need more of in this world, it’s unnecessary sequels to things that weren’t that great in the first place. I mean, the only way this works is if they cross it over with some other animated villain. Like Maleficent goes on vacation to the beach and her and a sexy young Ursula decide to rob a magical vault of some kind… yeah that’d actually be awesome.

Speaking of sequels: Pitch Perfect 3 is gonna be a thing. I mean, that’s a good thing right? Granted, the second one wasn’t as good as the first one but the music was still great, and it was still a good movie that I enjoyed. And most of that is the cast chemistry so as long as they get most of the cast back I think it’s all good! More mash-ups, more Anna Kendrick, and probably less contests where every nation weirdly sings the same song for no logical reason.

And speaking of speaking of sequels, Star Wars Battlefront 3 is coming out in November!! I (as a rule) do not like video games that involve wandering around with a gun, screaming like a girl and shooting things. Maybe it’s because I keep screaming all the time I don’t know. Anyway, I do  love the battlefront series, cause it’s all those things I just said but it’s STAR WARS. So put your big boy/person pants on , grab your blaster, and prepare for a lot of me screaming, this November.

And speaking of speaking of speaking of sequels, Batman Arkham Knight comes out next week. I’ve been a huge fan of the Batman series ever since it came out and allowed me to fulfill my two great dreams: being batman, and rejecting society to sit in my house and play video games. So get excited for that.

Yup. This is happening.

Yup. This is happening.

Back to movie news though: Inside Out, the latest in Pixar’s: adorable and awesome things collection, hits theaters this week. It is currently sitting at 100 percent on Rotten Tomatoes and it’ll be interesting to see how it does against Jurassic World. My guess is J-world takes a STEEP dive and Inside Out opens huge. It’s supposed to be awesome, and deep and funny and adorable and wonderful and all those things that Disney movies and Polar Bears are supposed to be.

The polar bear equivalent of Inside Out.

The polar bear equivalent of Inside Out.

Another trailer came out for Pixels and guys: it’s gonna be bad. I know, it’s such a great premise, but this movie has officially been “Sandlered.” Bland uninteresting characters gradually get more and more charicatured, until they learn some dumb lesson about ‘responsibility’ or ‘growing up’ and then everything is fine. I’m sorry world, I wanted it to be good too. But it won’t be.

Finally, in sports news: The Red Sox have lost seven games in a row. It’s fine though because umm… well there’s…

Audience! Welcome back to another new episode of a series so hilariously mistitled it’s just to painful to let go. But without further ado let’s go ahead and get to some news, notes, and nightly drinking… or something.

Terminator: Genysis just keeps being a movie. And now not only is it a movie built on a premise made of cardboard and Christmas tinsel, but not it’s showing off large portions of its plot!! I’m not gonna talk to much about it as I don’t want to give away what could generously be called a “plot” but it’s becoming something of a Hollywood trend to give away huge portions of your plot in trailers. For instance the Avengers: Age of Ultron gave away the Vision plot twist well before it needed to trailerwise. And Paul Blart 2 gave away the fact that it was a Paul Blart movie! Just inexcusable.

Tilda Swinton is supposedly being cast as “the Ancient One” in Marvel’s new Dr. Strange movie. This has somehow simultaneously make two groups angry, one group excited, and another group of people who frankly… could not care less. It has made the Asian population angry cause the ancient one is generally Asian and Tilda Swinton (while she is many things) is probably the least Asian person in the world. The Ancient One is also generally a man and Tilda is (as you may have noticed) also not that. On the happier side of things, women are happy. And as a society we enjoy happy women. But then there are people like myself and other well balanced citizens who think that Tilda Swinton is a really talented actress who is gonna be good for the part. And that’s really all that matters.

Tilda Swinton: Notoriously known for not being an Asian Man.

Tilda Swinton: Notoriously known for not being an Asian Man.

Jurassic World is coming out soon. I don’t know if you knew that or not cause the studio has been super secretive about it, but it is coming out.  I just thought you should know. In case you didn’t.

Batman: Arkham Knight comes out this month. For those of you who don’t know this series is quite potentially the best series of games ever. The best Batman games definitely, and the best reason for you and yours to go out and buy a PS4/Xbox One. This game promises even more Batman, even more punching and even less time spent interacting with real people in the real world. So… yay?

"We're showing increased awesomeness ratings, sir."

“We’re showing increased awesomeness ratings, sir.”

Taking first place at the box office this week was a movie called “San Andreas” wherein a bunch of stuff gets ruined, and Dwayne Johnson has large muscles… and that’s really the whole movie.

The other big movie that came out this week was Aloha a Cameron Crowe movie that multiple critics have called “A movie that probably happened.”

In some other news, somewhere people are playing tennis… for some reason?? I’m assuming either a Williams sister or some person whose name I could never ever dream of spelling correctly will win. So good for them. I’m sure they’re parents and all three of their non-parents fans will be very proud.

Tennis fans are notoriously impressed by serving platters.

Tennis fans are notoriously impressed by serving platters.

And hey, the Women’s World Cup starts this Saturday. Sure FIFA’s president just resigned and a huge portion of their leading members were arrested but ya know what?? You should still watch the women’s World Cup. It’s great soccer, good times, and they’re will probably be some Jurassic World trailers!! So that’s exciting.

Potentially the best thing that has ever happened in Canada. (non-moose category)

Potentially the best thing that has ever happened in Canada. (non-moose category)

And finally: I will be leaving this week to celebrate my anniversary to my wonderful and long suffering wife. As such, I will not be posting this Thursday or at all next week. You’ll all have to just try and muddle through without me. Where am I going you ask?? Pssh… A little place called Mind, YoBusiness, USA!! (ZING!!) No, seriously though, I’m coming to your house. So, prep for that.

Man is it STILL September?? Why? And how much longer? Why is there nothing happening in theaters? The thing I am most excited about right now is the premiere of Gotham which I haven’t seen yet because I refuse to pay for cable and Hulu doesn’t put it up till later today. So here I sit twiddling my thumbs (metaphorically) and trying to come up with something to write about… ummmm…. Ya know what we haven’t done in forever?? Weekly headlines. And just because this is a comic site and there is nothing I love in the world so much as hilarious irony I’m still gonna call it:

Weekly Headlines 9-23-14

So the new Terminator movie is gonna be called Terminator: Genisys because who needs spelling??? First we had blatant disregard for the rules of grammar with Batman 5 Superman: Dawn of Justice and now we’re just spelling thigns however we want to. We just randomly decided to throw letters into a pile and see what happens. How did that meeting go exactly?

Business Guy 1: So what if we called it Terminator: Genesis? Ya know? Like a fresh start and stuff.

Business Guy 2: No. I don’t like it. I feel like it’s been done before.

Business Guy 1: Okay… well what if we still called it Terminator: Genesis but I had my four year old daughter spell genesis?

Business Guy 1: That seems like a wonderful idea!! Cause we all know that a great way to show originality and intelligence is to spell things incorrectly!!

CBS recently picked up Supergirl for a TV series!! Not super surprising given the rising wave of B list Superheroes making A list money on the small screen. It’s not the worst idea ever in the world though I think there are probably other heroes I’d rather see then “a female version of Superman” because let’s be honest Superman isn’t exactly the most original idea ever had for a super-hero in the first place. I’m not saying it won’t be a good show, I just wish that when we sat down to make something involving superheroes we didn’t automatically think: “What’s the most obvious set of powers possible and how can we use those for this?”

Supergirl like Superman except... umm... a skirt.

Supergirl like Superman except… umm… a skirt.

Bryan Singer signed on to direct X-men: Apocalypse AND says that he (probably) will be recasting Storm, Cyclops, and Jean Grey. First off: great news for the X-men franchise since Singer has easily been the best X-men director by far and secondly because the last people to play Jean, Cyclops, and Storm were SUPER whiny and annoying, a complete jerk, and unable to decide whether or not they had an accent (respectively.) If Mr. Singer casts a corn flake, a cabbage patch kid, and a used Dove chocolate wrapper it will SIGNIFICANTLY improve my relationships with the characters.

Did you know there was a film festival called: Fantastic Fest??? Tee-hee.

Dolphin Tale 2 is in theaters. For some reason.

Dolphin Tale 2 because the gripping excitement of Dolphin Tale 1 just couldn't hit into one movie.

Dolphin Tale 2 because the gripping excitement of Dolphin Tale 1 just couldn’t hit into one movie.

Maze Runner won the box office this week (though winning is a strong word for September.) It’s a movie about (believe it or not) a kid who runs… through mazes. But apparently that’s entertaining cause people seem to like it.

Hulu recently purchased the rights to make a series out of Stephen King’s 11/26/63 story.  For you non-King-ites 11/22/63 is a time travely sort of story focused around the events of JFK’s assassination.  It’s very Stephen King. As we learned in Under the Dome Season 1 Stephen King things can be awesome. But, as we learned in Under the Dome Season 2 Stephen King things can also make very little sense and have incredibly plot hole filled scripts… so it’s a toss up.

Someone is making a sequel to Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters… Folks this may be the single worst non-murder idea in the history of man. Cause nothing says “make a sequel” like a poorly written, badly executed, paper thin plotted, movie that made almost ZERO money. At least for the most part Hollywood just makes sequels to bad movies that make a lot of money. I don’t know who benefits from making a sequel to this movie. Is someone at the studio related to the movie?? Is that possible?  Can I be related to the Dark Knight? How creepy is this getting?

And finally, Star Trek 3 is rumored to have William Shatner in it. Let me explain this in easy terms: THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA. Please don’t do this to Star Trek. I liked Star Trek 1 and Star Trek 2 was awesome. And amazing. And wonderful. And I may be related to it. For the most part I try and ignore the whole time travel thing but it’s at least okay because Leanard Nemoy is awesome and he looks like a zombie and sounds like Darth Vader. William Shatner looks like the Pillsbury Doughboys grandfather and acts with all the subtle skill of a drunk one eyed panda-goose. Boom. Micah-OUT!!