Posts Tagged ‘Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets’

Well Internet, we’ve reached that final day of the long and lengthy list of summer questions. How’s your summer prep going? Stocked up on them sweet popsicles? Get that AC nice and C’d? Cause summer’s just around the corner friend, and Summer’s got a knife! Summer’s had some rough times and it’s been bullied by Spring a lot lately and… well… it’s going through a rough phase. Anyway, here’s some questions about some summer movies, coming this summer. In summertime.

Summer Questions 2017: Part 3

Number 1: Is Dunkirk a ‘normal’ Chris Nolan movie?

Look, I’m a huge Chris Nolan fan but all of his movies have at least one weird super natural thing. Even ones that pretended to be a normal movie (The Prestige) ended up having weird super natural twists. So, is Dunkirk really just about the historical events of the World War 2 evacuation? Or is there something MORE going on here??? Either way, I’m a billion percent in on this. Great director, great cast, awesome story, typical Christopher Nolan way of not actually telling people anything in the trailers. I’m very excited about this!

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If it isn’t vaguely hinted that Dunkirk was just a dream we all had starring Leonardo DeCaprio I will be very disappointed.

 

Number 2: What exactly is Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets? And why is it called Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets?

It’s a space movie and… I don’t know. It’s based on a thing. Besson is the famed director of The Fifth Element a movie that came out twenty years ago and he’s since spent his time making largely unimpressive action movies. The cast looks fine (though Cara Delevingne is making a strong campaign for being the next Amanda Seyfried (inexplicably cast non-actress.) It’s a big space opera thing that’s gonna do its best Guardians of the Galaxy impression so we’ll just have to see what happens with it. That said, if there’s anyone who can out mopily stare Cara Delevingne it’s Dane DeHaan who is her co-star so just be prepared to see a lot of people REALLY looking at things very hard.

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If you like long mopey glances than you need look no further than these two, who have roughly the same facial reaction to space travel as I have to used cat litter.

 

Number 3: Can Atomic Blonde be the next John Wick?

They might as well change the name of this to Jane Wick and put all their cards on the table. That said, it looks like it’s gonna do a very good John Wick impersonation and that movie was great! The cast here looks strong, maybe it will have a better story than Wick and the action looks just as sort of ‘up close brutal’ style of Wick so I’m certainly intrigued.

Number 4: How many weird titles can we make that involve Apes? Like War for the Planet of the Apes?

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I love the whole “Planet of the Apes” thing, but if you called this movie “War of the Snow Monkeys” that would be WAY better.

 

So we had Planet of the Apes, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, and now War for the Planet of the Apes?? What’s next? Songs about the Planet of the Apes?? Actually that’s very good. Biking Through the Planet of the Apes?? Man, that’s good too. Okay I take it back. I’ll watch more of these movies. I mean, they’ve all been good, and as long as we can keep coming up with Planet of the Apes related titles I guess why not!

Number 5: How awesome will the The Dark Tower movie be??

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I hope at some point during the film of this movie that child realized how lucky he was!

 

Awesomely awesome. Or at least… it had better be. It had better I haven’t waded through years of rumors and speculations and fake castings for this movie to be bad I’ll tell you that much!! I mean the trailer looked fantastic and I’m certainly team “Idris Elba reloading guns!” Can I shirt or something for that? Cause I’ll buy that shirt! I’ll buy two of those shirts! Can this movie come out yet? Please!!

Well there you go guys. Questions. Answered. Summer on in safety fellow friends!

Oh and check out my podcast at thepsvpod.podbean.com