Posts Tagged ‘trailer breakdown’

Well hey audience! Welcome back to another thrilling entry in our beloved yet long forgotten series: Judging Covers, wherein I (your beloved and benevolent host) watch a bunch of trailers and then jump to ridiculous conclusions based on them.

IT

This is a VERY scary trailer. Be advised.

Sweet baby chains that looks terrifying doesn’t it? I mean why did you watch that? How will you ever be a rambunctious 80’s child without being terrified of awful clown men?? I’m still not entirely sure how much like the book this movie is going to be, because the book didn’t really go all scary clown all the time. There was more than enough scary clown mind you, but just not ALL scary clown. I’ve typed scary clown to many times guys. It’s starting to wig me out. Why am I talking about them again? Oh yeah. It. Looks terrifying but I will probably watch it on account of… why AM I gonna watch that? What has Stephen King done for me lately?? Has he scared that one clown that keeps showing up in my backyard away?? Has HE been responsible for Idris Elba having awesome cowboy guns and reloading them in the dopest way imaginable?? Oh wait… he did do that one didn’t he?

Blade Runner 2049

I was genuinely just set to not be excited about this movie and just let the warm and vague memories I have of the original Blade Runner keep me warm in the night time… but that trailer actually looked VERY good. Like… almost unnaturally good. Ford looks great, Gosling’s character seems to have some interesting things to do, and Jared Leto playing that one weird guy he always plays seems like it’s gonna actually work this time! I don’t WANT to be excited for this… but I very much am.

Kingsman The Golden Circle

Look, the first movie in this series was… more or less fine. It existed. It tried to strike a weird balance between making constant fun of James Bond movies and how dumb they were, while at the same time definitely being one of those movies. It was fun in its own weird way and I’m excited about the addition of Pedro Pascal and Channing Tatum’s one facial expression. My guess is this will be exactly as entertaining as the first one which is to say: marginally entertaining if you like this sort of hyper-action style of movie. So that was… helpful??? I guess.

Star Wars The Last Jedi

All right guys, it’s time for the big show! The Last Jedi… or maybe The Last Jedi(s)?? Hard to say. It’s a classic sort of deer/deer(s) scenario except with lightsabers and the constantly miserable face of Adam Driver and that tiny scar he got from when Rey cut most of his face off. Or something. Anyway, I’m all in on the Rey/Luke training montage that I’m pretty sure will make up most of this movie. It’ll be set up against the VERY different training of Kylo Ren and his master Gollum. I mean Snoke. While this is going on our noble but not as powerful friends Po and Dipsy will set about saving the galaxy from whatever it is that guy from Harry Potter is doing this time. And that’s what’s going to happen in the Last Jedi… except for the parts I made up for humor… And cause I don’t actually have any idea what’s gonna happen in The Last Jedi.

Well thanks for coming along with me on this magical journey to the made up future audience! Check back in next week when I review Guardians of the Galaxy and then… do something else. That I will make up at the time.

Well hello Inter-friends and welcome back to party Island, the Love Boat, Gilligan’s Island, and Green Acres… Don’t really know why I decided to name a bunch of old TV shows in my opening guys but there it is. Indelibly splattered across the face of the Internet forever. Carved in the most permanent of stone all across the face of this noble web, never to be forgot.

But moving on from my errant footprints in the sands of time let’s talk about some trailer shall we? Starting with the thing that I mentioned in my last blog that looked really awesome…

The Magnificent Seven –

Yup, the first couple pictures to be released from this looked pretty sweet and now that we’ve seen the first trailer for it I am all sort of excited. I mean that thing just looks awesome, and fun, and cool and all westerny. Admittedly I have a soft spot in my heart for westerns having watched MANY John Wayne movies many and many a year ago when I was but a small Pilgrim, but still this looks pretty great. Denzel, Chris Pratt, Ethan Hawke… for some reason. I’m very excited for this.

Jason Bourne

I can’t decide whether I really care about this movie or not. I mean it looks fine, it will undoubtedly be: a movie in which things get punched. But I feel like I’ve seen everything this trailer has to show me before. I don’t necessarily think it will be a bad movie and I love the addition of Tommy Lee Jones, who (like literally every old person in this entire movie series) will eventually end up getting killed by Jason Bourne professional ageist assassin. I’m also not convinced it’ll be anything more than just another spy movie that happens to have Matt Damon’s face attached to it. Loved the original and 2 and 3 weren’t bad, but this movie is definitely entering that dreaded, been there, done that, territory.

When a Monster Calls

This was one of my most anticipated films of the year, and it still looks like it’s gonna be really great. It’s based on a great book and has the ever awesome, soothy growly chocolate covered voice of Mr. Liam Neeson. I may change my name to Connor O’Malley just so I can have a recording of Liam Neeson saying my name with his tree-monster voice. I mean that’s just fantastic.

Dr. Strange

Okay, so, don’t get me wrong, I am VERY excited for Civil War next month… but this is the thing I’m most excited to watch this year. I mean this looks great, and VERY different from other Marvel entries and it’ll just be cool to see how this changes everything in the Marvel-verse thus far. I mean, they’ve been VERY careful about introducing too many supernatural things on Earth, basically keeping things very science-based even when they were on Asgard but Strange is basically all magic all the time. This also looks a good bit darker than the rest of the Marvel-verse has been thus far and while obviously I’m sure there will be some levity here, I do think this will be more grim throughout as they try to both counter balance the weirdness of the magic and try and step outside of the Ant-man/Ironman comparison to do something more outside the box. I’m all in on this and am very interested to see what’s coming down the pipe as we barrel on through 2016.

So there you have it guys!! A quicker post today but I wanted to get my thoughts out on these before they were lost forever to the four winds. Check back next week when I do a May preview and once again visit the classic Disney vaults to ruin some childhoods!!

 

Well hey internet, and welcome to the party. So about a week ago Comic-con was a thing and there has been a lot of hull and ballou made about some of the various trailers that came out that week so here is a famous, fabulous, and frivolous segment that we have called Judging Covers in which I go around and make snap judgements about things that I have done very little research on!!

Sisters

Okay so this wasn’t a comic con trailer. But if you can’t stop and salute a Tina Fey and Amy Poehler movie what exactly are you doing with your life? Comedies are probably the toughest genre to do a trailer on because it’s pretty easy to make a hilarious comedy trailer just by dropping in your movies two best jokes. Sure those might be the only two good jokes actually in the movie but wasn’t that trailer hilarious??? It’s the movie equivalent of letting someone taste test a 4000 dollar bottle of wine, and then actually serving them a bottle of that wine with the wine removed and replaced by stagnant pond water in which resides a great white shark.

That said: Sisters looks great.

Basically the peanut butter and jelly of comedy.

Basically the peanut butter and jelly of comedy.

Fantastic Four: 

Get ready to read this a lot: Still on the fence about this one. I liked this trailer, I like the cast, I like the fact that this movie seems to be taking itself more seriously, while at the same time having some fun characters and characterization. BUT, it’s still a fantastic four movie. The Fantastic four two of whom are less interesting copies of other heroes (Thing and the Invisible Woman) one of whom is an interesting character that we’ve seen A LOT of in other movies (the Human Torch) and the other of whom is a man with what is probably the worst super power in the recorded history of made up super-powers (being stretchy like a rubber band.) Couple that with the fact that the last two movies in this particular franchise were teeth numbingly bad and I have some MAJOR trust issues with this movie.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice 

Full honesty? I liked this trailer a lot. I think Ben Affleck makes a great Batman, I liked the fact that we may be exploring a little bit of the repercussions of Superman basically destroying an entire city in Man of Steel and then snapping that dudes neck like a kit kat bar. And I actually really liked our brief looks at Jesse Eissenbergs Lex Luther. It was a really solid trailer.

Do I think it’ll actually be a good movie??? Say it with me: Still on the fence about this one. I feel like it can be safely said that it will not be a great movie. Unless (and this isn’t gonna make a lot of sense) Lex Luther saves it. Cause we know who Batman and Superman will be in this universe. They will both be dark and growly and scowly and want to punch things. Not bad, but not entertaining people. I can’t relate at all to the fact that Superman is struggling with controlling his super powers… I have, in fact, the exact opposite problem. They will be there, their fights will be cool, but they will not take this movie from ‘meh’ (which it will probably be) to ‘good.’ The one guy who can do that is Lex Luthor. Cause Luthor can be very interesting as he struggles to find his place within a world that has suddenly completely changed the rules on him. He can also be a much needed injection of comic relief and (dare we say it) actual character energy. As weird as it is in this extremely dark and depressing world with incredibly gritty and depressed super heroes it could actually be the villain who brightens the world up for us some.

Though if you look at his hair too long, you will lose all will to live.

Though if you look at his hair too long, you will lose all will to live.

Anyway, I liked this trailer, I don’t think the movie will be great, but I also don’t think it will be a strawberry jelly filled train wreck. There’s even a chance (Jesse Eisenberg dependent) this movie could be pretty good.

 Suicide Squad – 

I’m actually 100 percent on bored with this movie. I like the idea of a team of super villains teaming up to save the ‘magical thing we’re saving today.’ Very on board with Will Smith as Deadshot who looks great and I’m sure will give the movie some heart, and the rest of the team around him seems like they’ll be a lot of fun to watch do their thing. Hopefully it’ll be a nice break from the norm for super hero movies and really DC comics have always had the best villains, so why not just let them out and let them do their thing. Could be a really good movie. But that’s not what you came here for I’m sure. You’re here for:

Micah’s Thoughts on the New Joker

Everyone knows I loved Heath Ledger’s joker. He was fantastic, perfect for the movie he was in, and it is a tragedy we didn’t get to see him do more. But, that particular time (sadly cut short though it was) has passed. We’ve got a new DC Universe, a new Batman, and it only stands to reason that we would get a new joker. So, how does Jared Leto do?? Well, first off let’s bear in mind that I’m pretty much working with roughly three lines of dialogue so I could be 100 percent wrong on this BUT assuming these three lines are actually how he does the whole thing: I’m on board.

I like the voice, I like that he didn’t just put on long green hair and try and be Heath Ledger and I like that he didn’t go straight comic book with it ether. What I was hoping was that we would get a brand new look at a character who their have been a ton of iterations of and that it would be more along Heath Ledger’s joker while at the same time not being a carbon copy and I think that’s what we’ve got. Though once again: three lines of dialogue.

So there you go guys!! I somehow managed to do four full trailer reviews and at some point in each of them fully admit that I have no idea what I was talking about!! Yup, it’s good to be back ladies and gentlemen. It’s good to be back.

So Judging Covers is back!! How I missed such things! I’m not gonna lie I mostly totally forgot that I did this at all! But now that I’ve remembered, let’s go ahead and watch some trailers and then judge them unfairly based purely on that!!

Unbroken– In theaters 12/25/14

Wow… this movie looks insane. I have nothing funny to say about this… except that the guy does have some really creepy facial hair… he looks like a super dirty Frenchmen… seriously though, this looks awesome. I want to watch it but… probably not on or around Christmas, it does not exactly scream “holiday spirit.” Wow, that was a downer to start this Trailer judging off on… what do I have that’s light on superfluous?

Penguins of Madagascar – In theaters 11/23/14

Okay, I’ve never been a huge fan of the Madagascar series because the main characters were always SUPER annoying while the supporting character (the penguins and King Julien) were just funny enough to make me watch it (meaning not only did I not like the movies but I also HAD to watch them just for the five to ten minutes of genuine funny.) So now we’ve cut out the main characters and have made the Penguins the new focus??? Dude, sign me up!! (though if there’s not a King Julien cameo I will be GROSSLY disappointed… which now that I think about doesn’t make a ton of sense… what will I, not take a shower for several days and then be disappointed?? Lather myself in spoilt goose grease and THEN be disappointed?… that actually sounds awesome… sorry, what were we talking about?)

The Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 1 – In theaters 11/21/14

So that’s a “teaser” and does nothing for Mockingjay except to remind me how much I dislike Peeta. The jerk. And now he’s in a white suit on a white background standing next to a white dude named Snow… white. Tee-hee. Yeah, this trailer tells me nothing and the fact that it’s a “Part 1” means that this movie will move slow and have no real climax… yay.

Dracula Untold – In theaters 10/17/14

Is it just me or does this movie look kind of awesome? Like REALLY awesome. This thing just made my must see list. Luke Evans looks awesome, the storyline seems solid and interesting, and Dracula’s powers seem awesome!! Could this movie save vampires from Edward Cullen?

The Expendables 3 – In theaters 8/15/14

Ha ha. I don’t care.

Gone Girl – In theaters  10/3/14

Well I’m creeped out. I will probably watch this movie but only in a well lit room with a GPS tracker injected into my blood. Gives me the jibblies…

Thank you, Strongbad.

Thank you, Strongbad.

Exodus: Gods and Kings – In theaters 12/12/14

It’s Egyptian Batman!!! I mean, Christian Bale… and Joel Edgerton??? Who both look surprisingly Egyptian for being two ridiculously non-egyptian white people. There should probably be some “No Egyptians were used in the making of this film” disclaimer on this movie. That’s probably unfair… I’m sure there were some Egyptians in the background there… probably playing Israelites.

So, there you go guys!! An old friend resurrected from the grave! Brought back from the edge of disaster, the edge of oblivion, the edge of tomorrow (starring Tom Cruise.) And speaking of tomorrow, I will see you all when I post again on Monday (which in no way links up to me speaking about tomorrow)!!