Posts Tagged ‘Thor 2’

Well hey Internet, and welcome to another example of me caving in to the Man. And also some women. Really more of a ‘They’ then any particular gender. Anyway, a few weeks ago I posted a complete ranking of Pixar movies over here. Since then a couple different people have emailed me (thoughtswemighthavehad@gmail.com) asking for me to do some other rankings of various and sundry rankible ranks.

So here’s a list of some things, involving some stuff. You’re welcome… I guess.

The Marvel Cinematic Universe from Worst to First 

Okay couple things: this is not a ranking of all the marvel movies ever cause frankly there are some things that happened in the 60’s and 70’s that no one wants to remember.

Captain-America-1944-Image-12

“Nothing’s happening in this closet, nothing at all.”

Also not included in this list are movies made from Marvel comics by companies that are not Marvel (i.e. The X-men movies and the Spiderman trilogy and 2/3rd.) The reason for that is those movies are very much their own thing. It’s less comparing apples and oranges, more comparing apples and the string theory of the Universe.

We all good to go? No?? Awesome.

11. The Hulk and the Incredible Hulk

I think all of the people who want a solo hulk movie need to be forced to sit down and watch these two movies back to back. Look I love the Hulk… okay so, I like the Hulk. He’s fun. But in the end he will always smash something, and in between smashings he will always be conflicted about his powers and sulk about the fact that he occasionally becomes a raging green death machine.

That works great in ensemble movies. I really like what Joss Whedon and Mark Ruffalo have done with that character but I don’t think that automatically means he’s great for his own movie. You want proof? Watch The Hulk again. That movie is BAD. Terrible. There is literally a Hulk Poodle. The ending of that movie is the Hulk spitting green stuff into a storm cloud who is also (through a series of events far FAR too stupid for the human mind to grasp) his dad.

_hulk-2003-67-g-1350136227

This is an actual image from The Hulk. I don’t even need to try to make fun of this movie… It makes fun of itself.

The Incredible Hulk was better and Edward Norton did a really great job with that character but… it’s still not very good.

10. Iron Man 2

Probably the only other Marvel movie that is legitimately not good, Iron Man 2 just barely skates by on the fact that Robert Downey Jr. really IS Iron Man. Beyond his rock solid performance is a sloppily put together movie with an utterly forgettable villain, an even more forgettable final fight, and a movie that basically just amounts to a 2 hour trailer for the Avengers.

9. Iron Man 3

It’s weird how much Iron Man 2 and 3 fell off the tracks after Iron Man literally breathed life into the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Iron Man 3 isn’t a bad movie, but it just doesn’t feel much life a Marvel movie. Tony Stark spends a lot of time running around outside his armor and fighting villains who breathe fire for some largely unexplained reason. It’s a fun movie sure, and Ben Kingsley is great as the Mandarin/Trevor but it doesn’t really feel like a super-hero movie, and that’s what we paid our ten bucks to see!!

8. Thor 2: The Dark World

I really like Chris Hemsworth as Thor and he and Loki’s mini road trip movie in this movie is awesome, but weirdly I feel like this movies last act just kind of fell apart. It got distracted by it’s own sense of humor and you never really get the feeling that that one pasty white dude who doesn’t speak English is actually going to do whatever it is he wants to do.

I enjoyed Thor 2 (cause at this point it’s all movies I enjoyed) but I think the balance of humor and drama skewered towards humor at the wrong times. Plus, while I think Natalie Portman is great her Jane Foster is almost terminally un-interesting. She’s just sort of… in the movie.

"Marvel's Thor: The Dark World"..Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) ..Ph: Jay Maidment..© 2013 MVLFFLLC. TM & © 2013 Marvel. All Rights Reserved.

Jane Foster, cause sometimes you just need someone to look at things.

7. Captain America: The First Avenger

Okay so from here on out all the movies are pretty great. I really liked The First Avenger, and I certainly was surprised at how much I liked Captain America when mostly before this I had just thought he was that stupid looking stripedy guy who threw things at other things.

I though this character was great, and Tommy Lee Jones was fantastic in this movie. That said the much maligned ending where Cap “puts the jet in the water” for literally no reason at all, did take away a bit from what was otherwise a super solid movie.

6. Thor

As stated above I think Chris Hemsworth is perfect for Thor and he might legitimately be my favorite Avenger. His introduction to the MCU was awesome and his relationship with Loki was great and awesome and I’m really excited for Thor 3 to come out so I can see more of that. The only thing really wrong with this movie were the Warriors 3 (AKA those not at all comic, comic relief characters) and (of course) the cardboard cut out of a human that is Jane Foster.

5. Iron Man

I was surprised this one fell as low as it did cause I think it’s a really great movie and like I said it literally created the Marvel Cinematic Universe and gave birth to Robert Downey Jr’s Tony Stark is nothing short of amazing.

I thought the villain for this was fairly forgettable but even that is the smallest of small gripes. It’s a great movie and watching RDj create that first Iron Man suite is an absolutely iconic moment in comic book movie history.

4. Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier

As surprised as I was that Iron Man got pushed to 5, I was probably more surprised that Captain America 2 ranked this high. But that movie was awesome. Intrigue, explosions, Captain America all the sudden becoming a raging cyclone of punchy faced death. If you doubt my decision to put this here just go watch that first bit where Cap basically takes over an ocean liner single-handedly. It’s awesome.

"Is... is there something happening behind me?"

“Is… is there something happening behind me?”

I like the Winter Soldier as a villain/tragic lost friend person, and the whole Hydra thing worked really REALLY well. It doesn’t have the crazy high stakes demigod battling feel to it, but it does it’s action incredibly well and creates a really interesting story with some great twists and turns.

3. Avengers: Age of Ultron

I will probably take a LOT of flack for this movie being this high on the list, but I really REALLY liked this movie. I thought it was great, and fun, and built interestingly on the first movie. A lot of people said it was too much like the first one but I also really liked the first one so that was totally fine with me!! Why wouldn’t I want more of that?

Also: James Spader as Ultron was awesome. I wanted more Ultron… and maybe less awkwardly forced Black Widow/Hulk romance but still, I thought it was a VERY well done movie with some great characters who we all really like doing some very cool stuff. Which is pretty much all I wanted.

2. Avengers

But nothing beats the original… except for the one movie on this list that did that, but more on that in a second. Avengers (before it’s release) scared the crap out of me. I had been scarred by the ‘Fantastic Four’ and then again by ‘The Fantastic Four 2: Why Are We Making This?’ I thought super-hero ensembles just couldn’t work. But then, like a white dove sailing down from downey clouds of heaven, Joss Whedon descended and gave us all the Avengers. Not just a great ensemble super hero movie, but just a genuinely great movie. It was amazing, the characters were great, the fights were epic, and the script perfectly walked the line between humor and drama. It was a great, great movie. And I have loved it forever.

1.Guardians of the Galaxy

My friend Schofs has a system whereby he measures things in which he asks “If I was stuck on an island and could only have two of these things, which would I want?” It is (possibly) not his own original idea, but I figured I’d credit him on here with it just because (to my knowledge) no one else has staked claim to that idea in any official capacity.

So anyway, I really love Avengers, but I also really loved Guardians of the Galaxy and as I labored and thought and thought and labored and then took a brief nap I finally boiled this choice down to Schofie’s classic Schofism: the desert island question.

Of course there's no electricity... or TV's... or food. So in the end we're kinda screwed either way.

Of course there’s no electricity… or TV’s… or food. So in the end we’re kinda screwed either way.

Surprisingly to me, the answer was: Guardians of the Galaxy. It’s just awesome. The cast is great, the action is awesome, the world it creates is crazy and wacky, but also surprisingly heart felt and the soundtrack is awesome. That was literally one of the deciding factors between these two movies, I really like both of them, but Guardians has that awesome 80’s soundtrack  and what better company on a deserted island then a great movie, with great music??

So there you go guys, the Marvel MCU, ranked. Have a great July 4th and I will see you all next week!

Hey everyone and welcome to another thrilling episode of: Weekly Headlines!!

In our lead story today Benedict Cumberbatch WILL be in the next Star Wars movie!!! Oh wait… nope nope. In our second lead story, Benedict Cumberbatch will NOT be in Star Wars. – Wait hang on… in our for real lead LEADING pencil-lead story, Cumberbatch is definitely in Star Wars and will be joined on film by the Abominable Snowman, Gumby, and Marvin the one eyed Yeti from the Future. I promise. No for realsies. I know a guy who knows a girl who is a table lamp who works at Disney and she totally saw a picture of Benedict Cumberbatch with the words “Bitty baby Darth Vader” written underneath it.

Dancing with the Stars premiered this week featuring large numbers of minor celebrities like: That-Girl-Who-Used-to-be-on-Glee, Probably-the-least-interesting-person-ever-in-the-World Snooki, Probably-a-Football-Player, and Bill Nye the Science Guy. Unfortunately, I am not making that last one up.  

Disney announced that they’re pushing back the release date for their upcoming Pixar movie “The Good Dinosaur.” They are also delaying their releases of The Bad Lettuce, The Okay Lizard, and the Moderately Evil Pony from Hades.

Then again Pixar could make a movie called "The Good Dustmite" and it would probably open at Number 1. The jerks.

Then again Pixar could make a movie called “The Good Dustmite” and it would probably open at Number 1. The adorbal jerks.

Kelsey Grammar recently signed on to be in Expendables 3. At this point the Expendables series has pretty much become the retirement home for every person who was filmed for any reason in the 1980’s.

Insidious: Chapter 2 took the top spot in the box office. Or (more accurately) of the ten people who went to watch movies this week, 6 of them saw Insidious: Chapter 2 for reasons no human could ever hope to understand.

1 of those people also saw Disney’s Planes a movie that was literally glued together from parts of Cars and Cars 2 that weren’t good enough to be in those bad to moderately okay movies.

Roland Emmerich made some announcements this week about Indepenance Day 2 this week. As though the one thing that world needed was another sequel to an okay but poorly structured alien movie in which Alien ships hover over important buildings for unclear reasons and then get blown up by Will Smith.

Thor 2 reportedly called in Joss Whedon to do some rewrites on the script. This is like taking a delicious candy bar that’s dipped in peanut butter and then replacing the candy wrapper with a bajillion dollar bill, like taking a delivery pepperoni pizza and using DVD copies of The Dark Knight as the pizza box.

And in a late addition to the news today: I watched the first Episode of Sleepy Hollow!! It was pretty good. The story seems interesting and it kind of looks like they have a basic idea of what they want to do. As a general policy I try not to completely judge shows based on the pilot. Pilots are a pain to write cause you have to try and do a backstory, a forestory, a mid-story, all in the time of a regular episode. Sleepy Hollow did more than enough to make me watch episode two. That and the headless horseman looks awesome, fires machine guns and wields what basically amounts to a lightsaber-ax so… that’s good.

Plus there's nothing Iove better then headless humor.

Plus there’s nothing I Iove better then headless humor.

Thanks for reading everyone and come on back in next week for more partying more pizza-ing, and more vague insults to Snooki!

Hey everyone, so for those of you who live in a bucket of some kind, or who have (dare we type it) a social life with actual friends that you actually talk to in person you may not know that Comic-con was last week!! For many years Comic-con was a place where nerdy people went to spend tons of money on memorabilia and stand closer to hot women then they will ever be able to in any non comic-con related event. Nowadays things have changed no comic-con is a where a lot of nerdy people go to spend tons of money on memorabilia, stand next to hot women, AND go to panels where the people who make comic book movies or vaguely comic book related things talk about their plans for the future in ways that will probably eventually turn out not to be true at all. Here are some things we learned at Comic-con and some thoughts I might have had about them.

 Avengers 2

Avengers 2 was officially titled “Age of Ultron” last week which was very significant for reasons that I am sure I don’t understand.

the-avengers-2-age-of-ultron-logo

Well… we know the title now. So… what are we supposed to do for the next two years again?

Basically, Ultron is an evil robot person and (in the comics anyway) there’s this whole big storyline where he takes over the earth and blows up everything, and replaces all milk cartons with soy milk without clearly labeling them. Seriously though it’s all time travely and Wolverine factors heavily into it (awkward because Marvel doesn’t actually own the film rights to Wolverine right now) so the odds of Avengers 2: Age of Ultron looking anything at all like the comic books “Age of Ultron” are roughly the same as Joss Whedon calling and offering me the role of Ultron in the movie. That said: at least we now know the title of the movie which should give fans more than enough to wildly speculate about, until it actually comes out several years from now.

Thor 2

They showed a new trailer for Thor 2!! But we can’t see it. So… I guess nothing really to report here then… well… this is awkward.

" I have come to thee with a new trailer!! But most of you canst not watcheth it... for reasons... that I totally hath."

” I have come to thee with a new trailer!! But most of you canst not watcheth it… for reasons… that I totally hath.”

Doctor Who

They showed a new trailer for Doctor Who!! But we can’t see it… Man. They did say that they haven’t chosen the next Doctor yet which isn’t so much a news story as it is a confirmation that there isn’t a story. This would be like a senator from Maine saying that the state hadn’t decided to be called “Mooselandia.” Sure it’s true, but it’s not exactly relevant.

X:Men Days of Future Past

I’m super worried about this movie being terrible. You know when the last time an X:men movie started going on and on about how big its cast was and how “grand a scale” the movie was going to be on? It was X3. Which is a bad bad movie. The worst of the X:men movies and I’m including “Wolverine Origins” AKA “Wolverine and his less cool friends that will get too much screen time” in that list. The comics this is based on is good in a trippy sort of way and I sincerely hope this movie turns out okay as I think the chance is there, but I’m very worried that it’s just gonna become another movie that distracts itself with all of its cool mutant powers and forgets to be a good movie.

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Hey they released a new trailer and guess what?? We can totally watch it! In fact, I high recommend watching it. Cause after watching the old trailer I was very dubious as to whether or not this movie was going to be any good. Cause ya know the one thing the first trailer (which was roughly an hour long) didn’t have?? The Hunger Games. For all I saw in the first trailer the movie should have just been called “The Hunger:” One of my main problems with the first movie was that there seemed to be a little too much Hunger and not enough game. This trailer though seems to give us hope that something will happen in this movie other than Jennifer Lawrence making faces at people and misleading weird little blond baker-boys.  This trailer seems to have remember the actual “games” portion which is (after all) most of the reason we come. I mean I like political activism and thinly veiled shots at the American public as much as anyone but I feel something needs to happen that’s at least a little exciting at some point.

Batman and Superman

Okay and here is the moneymaker of this article. DC Comics “officially” announced that the next Superman movie will feature Batman…. Ugh. When I first heard this I thought: “Well it seems like a bad idea now, but I’m sure as I think about it I’ll start to like it more!!!” I didn’t. In fact the more I think about it, the less I like it. You know what Man of Steel was? It was the best Superman movie ever!! And it wasn’t that good. If the best Superman movie ever “wasn’t that good” what are the odds that a movie that (from all indications) no one knew we were going to make until very recently will be better than it? Taking a good comic book character and combining him with an “okay under certain circumstances” comic book character does not make a good comic book movie. That’s like saying combing a delicious ice cream Sunday mixed with a plate of overdone gorgonzola beans makes them both more delicious. In the end you’ll just get a sloppy looking mess that no one will be very interested in.

Batman-Mix-Superman-Logo-Wallpaper

Cool picture. Bad idea.

Besides who do you get to play Batman? Christian Bale probably won’t do it. Joseph Gordon Levitt? I mean I like Joseph Gordon Levitt but batman??? Not buying it. So that means you have to get a new batman, then do you have to do a Batman origin story? Cause we all loved the mostly unnecessary 40 minutes you spent on Supermans origin story in the last movie! Do you just jump in with Batman already being Batman and hope that everyone conveniently forgets the last (MUCH better) Batman movies? Plus Man of Steel already had no sense of humor, does adding Batman really help that problem at all? They can sit around and be somber at each other for a while.

Here’s what’s going to happen in this movie: Grunt grunt grunt “I don’t need you batman” punch punch punch, Kryptonite. Batman. “You saved me batman!!” Punch punch, growl. Roll credits.

I’m not saying this will be a bad movie. I’ve been surprised before, DC has made some really good not Batman movies in the past like umm… Like Green—nope. Like Cat— nope. Umm… I’ll get back to you.

Well there you have it friends! Thanks for reading, now wash all that nerd smell off of you, and go back about your lives. Don’t worry, we won’t tell anyone.

P.S. Before you all start writing angry posts about my negligence yes I am aware that Guardians of the Galaxy had a panel. But all they did was show a clip that I can’t watch and then Karen Gillam ripped her hair off or something. I have no idea what to say about that.

Ah… I love the smell of 2013 in the morning. Smells like… morning. Anyway, after two posts looking back at 2012 with a mix of adoration and profound motherly disgust let us now turn our eyes towards the year ahead. The movies, the songs, the possible twilight re-boot (ha ha no. Just kidding. I give it at least two years.) So here we have the ten movies of 2013 that I anticipate the most or (in a more melodic manner and with bolder font):

 The Ten Most Anticipated Movies of 2013

Honorable mention: Before I dive in to the top ten here are two movies that didn’t quite make the grade. The first: Monster University. I really liked the original Monsters Inc. movie and am legitly excited about this prequel. That said, it’s another Pixar movie and all Pixar movies are starting to look the same to me. Ya know… cause they make them for children. Even though I’m not exactly in the target audience though I’m still excited to get back to good old Mike Wizowski. Just not top ten sort of excited.

Secondly: Beautiful Creatures. I’m not entirely sure what this movie is about. Something about witches and light and dark and some girl who has to choose a side or something (and not like fries or chips… I think. Though you’ve always got to go with the fries there). It looks like a cool idea and has Emma Thompson in it which are both good things, but it also looks suspiciously like it’s being aimed at all of the Twilight fans who don’t have movies to watch anymore so… I don’t know. It could be good… or laughably horrible. Only time will tell I suppose.

Okay, for real though, on to the top ten.

10. The Host

Speaking of Twilight here’s another book by Stephanie Meyer. I know, I know “she is the soul of evil blady bla bla” but first off I’ve been the soul of evil since way before Stephanie Meyer started banging her head on a keyboard and writing Twilight. Secondly, this movie actually looks interesting, and my wife (being the awesome person she is) has read the book and said it was actually pretty good and that it was hard to believe the same person had written The Host and Twlight. Plus I like Saoirse Ronan (though her name is a butt to spell) and it just seems like a movie that could be good. I will admit though that the reason it’s slinking down here at number 10 is for it’s strong “love triangle” potential.

The fact that they are literally standing in a triangle on this poster makes me uneasy.

The fact that they are LITERALLY standing in a triangle on this poster makes me uneasy.

9. The Lone Ranger

“Hi HO Johnny Depp!! Away!!” I’m moderately sort of kind of excited about this movie. I don’t know, it just looks like fun, plus what was the last really great western you watched? True Grit? And that was depressing. The Lone Ranger could be really good, but even in the worse case scenario it will be entertaining and different and I like both of those things. So let’s just see what happens.

8. Oblivion

Yes ladies and gentleman, a Tom Cruise movie. I must be getting soft… or less sarcastic… or hungry. Yup, that’s it. Seriously though, I was super intrigued by the trailer for this movie and everything I’ve read about it makes it sound pretty solid. It seems to work from an interesting premise AND has Morgan Freeman in it so… I’m interested. It has the potential to be bad, because: Tom Cruise. But hey, it looks solid so until something comes out to convince me otherwise: I’m in.

Cuase nothing says "good movie" like a waterfall made by buildings!

Cuase nothing says “good movie” like a waterfall made by buildings!

7. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Man I need to read these books. I could be reading them now but NOOO the internet had to get all persnickety on me about posting when I said I was going to and stuff like that. Anyway, I’m excited about this movie despite the fact that I have absolutely ZERO idea what it’s about. There was already a significant amount of things being caught on fire in the first movie though, so it’s only uphill from there right?

6. Man of Steel

Well hello Superman. It’s been a while. I haven’t seen you since you were fathering illegitimate children and using your x-ray vision to creepily spy on your ex and her fiancé! What’s that? Oh, were pretending none of that happened? Oh good.

Man of Steel looks like it could be a pretty good movie. I’ve talked ad nauseam about Superman and why it’s hard to make a good Superman movie, but I think this movie is showing a lot of good potential for awesomeness (though I’m creeped out slightly that both its trailers have stolen their music from SUPER popular movies but hey… I guess not everyone can hire their own composer, right?)

5. The Wolverine

Wolverine!! Practically the anti-superman Wolverine is one of my favorite Super heroes and the one I most wanted to be when I was 5. Wolverine’s last solo movie (Wolverine: Way too Many Characters) was so-so. I mean I liked it, but I made my own Wolverine claws out of wood when I was 7 so… yeah. Bias. Still though from what I’ve read about the new Wolverine it seems like the Directors have a really tight/darker themed movie that will focus less on getting as many X-men into one movie as we can, and more on, ya know, Wolverine.

4. Thor 2

Thor!!! Oh man. I am so excited about this movie. I really liked the original Thor and was utterly surprised by that fact. I honestly always thought Thor was just un-relatable and kind of weak sauce, but little did I know the true joys of bushy blond beards and massive hammers. Thor is one of my favorite of Marvel’s Avengers, plus Christopher Eccleston plays the villain, AND Tom Hiddleston is gonna be up to his usual awesomeness as Loki. What’s not to like?

There's not a poster for Thor 2 yet so I'm putting this here cause it is the sickness.

There’s not a poster for Thor 2 yet so I’m putting this here cause it is the sickness.

*****

And once again I need to make a note here about what a hard time I had differentiating the top 3 (and especially the top two). I actually flipped them several times but in the end my head started hurting and I had to eat a Snicker’s bar just to have enough energy to finish this post, so; in the name of my blood sugar levels not reaching the magical land of double sugar covered Peeps, I’m just gonna go with my gut and admit to the internet at large that I couldn’t make up my own tiny mind.

3. The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug

Kudos to Peter Jackson for making a thousand dumb high schoolers look up the word “desolation” on their Iphones. Well done Peter. I really like The Hobbit: A Rabbit’s Holiday, except for a few parts involving the aforementioned Rabbits but more on that later. Two Towers is probably my favorite of the original Lord of the Rings and I really think Desolation of Smaug (also the second movie in the Trilogy) will be a much tighter movie then the Hobbit pt. 1. I’m excited to see what Jackson does with the characters and story-lines that he’s opened up, and the prospect of finally getting to hear the dulcimer tones of Benedict Cumberbatch playing Smaug is more then enough to make this one of my most anticipated movies of 2013.

Of course this isn't the "official" poster, but it has a Dragon. So.... I'm good.

Of course this isn’t the “official” poster, but it has a Dragon. So…. I’m good.

2. Iron Man 3

Speaking of awesome actors and Avengers, let’s all take a moment and give a big round of applause to Robert Downey Jr. I’m not gonna lie I though the second Iron Man movie was a severe step back from the awesomeness of the first movie. Downey Jr. was still awesome, and I really liked what they did with Pepper Pots and War Machine but the movie was a little to ADD for me. It looks like the new movie is taking itself a little more seriously though (while still featuring the awesome hilarity of Tony Stark). Plus Ben Kingsley playing Mandarin (the films main villain) yes please!

"I would go... but I don't have anything to wear..."

“I would go… but I don’t have anything to wear…”

1. Star Trek: Into Darkness

I know… I was surprised too. Let me say one more time: I am NOT a trekkie. I have seen… maybe two episodes of the TV shows? And I think I watched Wrath of Kahn once… three years ago… SUPER late at night. And honestly I thought they were pretty cheesy and not super well done (forgive me Patrick Stewart). I did like the new Star Trek movie and thought it was a really cool way to sort of re-boot the series without entirely throwing out everything else that had ever happened. All that said, the trailer for Into Darkness KICKED BUTT! I don’t know whether it was the cool effects, the interesting story ideas, or the fact that Benedict Cumberbatch has the voice of a Spartan Warrior dipped in Chocolate and Manliness (it’s that one) but I’m really excited about this movie. Really excited…. and I’m a little freaked out by that, because (once more) not a trekkie.

So there you have it interfriends! The ten movies I’m most looking forward to this year! Here’s hoping I (like so many great Pokemon trainers before me) catch them all. Check back on Monday when I finally get around to reviewing Les Miserables and confront my inner hatred for Amanda Siegfried.

The Bourne Legacy, a movie starring Jeremy Renner as a new spy in the old series, is getting all ready to roll out and has released this poster.

Tune in later for the fifth entry in the Bourne series Bourne Born: The Early Years.

A poster that literally tells us absolutely nothing, other then that it’s a Bourne movie and to prepare for the unexpected… that’s like telling me to expect the unexpected… which is impossible right? I mean if it’s unexpected I (by definition) don’t expect it do I? I mean the moment I expect the unexpected it becomes expected doesn’t it?… I think… On the positive side, it was just announced that Edward Norton (a criminally under-appreciated actor who rescued the Hulk from an over emotional whiny girl actor pretending to be Eric Bana) will be in the movie so that’s a win!

Universal wants another sequel to Bruce Almighty. For those of you who were spared the anguish of watching Bruce Almighty it featured Jim Carrey getting the powers of the Lord. And yes, it was just as horrible an idea as that sounds… in fact hang on, I’m just gonna run and wash my hands real fast……. and we’re back. That movie spawned the sequel Evan Almighty a movie that featured Steve Carrel becoming Noah. And yes, that was somehow an even worse idea then the first idea. I can’t think of how they could possibly sink lower here… maybe a movie featuring Robert Pattinson getting all the powers of Moses… or Adam Sandler playing the Apostle Peter… ew… I take back the previous statements there are tons of ways they could sink lower and I’m sure they will do their absolute best to do so!

Step Up 4 has been officially slated for release on July 27. A hilarious comedy series featuring people who randomly perform elaborate choreographed dance routine’s with almost no practice or actual talent. Step Up has somehow continued to exist despite never actually involving any actors. The fan of the Step Up series, was very excited.

Sif has been confirmed as being a participant in the upcoming Thor 2 movie. You may remember Sif as the slightly awkward, woman warrior, norse god person from Thor 1: Hammer of awesome. You may also remember Sif’s friends (the warriors three) as being the worst part of that movie. If Thor was a delicate chocolate filled cupcake the warriors three were the rabid chipmunk, droppings hidden inside of it.

The world’s newest snake species was recently announced!  Found in Tanzania the snake (which looks intensely creepy) has been named Matilda’s Horned Viper. When asked for comments the Viper said it was highly offended and would have preferred some of the other options offered such as Hubert the Horned Viper or (it’s personal favorite Fangy McDeathface… “Really anything but Matilda” the snake said shaking it’s scaly head.

 

I don't know who this Matilda person is but she must be pretty ugly if she looks anything like this snake.

And that’s really it for Headlines this week. Not a lot… tell you what check back later this afternoon for a review of Mission Impossible 4: Tom Cruise Tries Long Hair Again. So… I’m gonna go write that… no sleep for me!