Posts Tagged ‘The Force Awakens’

Internet!! Welcome back to Thursday. That’s right folks we’re getting back to core values here and actually posting on the days that I’m supposed to post! I know, it’s a little crazy, a little out there, but we’re just gonna roll with it and see what happens! So full credit going to whom said full credit is due this article was partially inspired and completely transported by the post of one Jon who said in words so epic and poetic:

Jon- Any thoughts on the New Force Awakens Trailer?

And how could I, lowly mortal that I am, turn down such an urgent and beautiful request as that? Such an honest, heartfelt plea, for my wisdom, my insight, my ability to leap to ungainly conclusions without all of the facts? This bold’s for you Jon.

Judging Covers 10/29/2015 

The Force Awakens 

Hang on… gonna need a minute for my nerdy heartbeat to return to normal. Okay… okay we’re good. Look, this trailer has been analyzed, penalized, and alphabetized all over the internet so for the sake of non-redundancy I’m not gonna get into a frame by frame break down of the trailer. But here are my general thoughts on a few key parts of the trailer.

The Cast: Looks real strong. Somebody somewhere must be constantly handing Harrison Ford 100 dollar bills cause man does he look… alive. Which is more then can be said of anything he’s done in what?? Ten years??? Obviously this is a ridiculously small sample size but if Harrison Ford bought into this movie and we can some vintage Han Solo I’m calling this a success right now. The rest of the cast looks pretty solid too and I’m particularly excited to see what happens with the new villain Kylo Ren and to see what Adam Driver (a very talented guy) does with it.

The Plot: Obviously we know very little for certain here so please take everything I’m about to type as complete and utter conjecture. The plot seems to mostly revolve around Finn (the Stromtrooper) and Rey (the (not to be sexist) woman) who meet up with Han and Chewie presumably looking for Luke (who has yet to appear in ANY of the adds for this film except for probably as that cloaked guy with with the robo-hand. But if we know anything about Star Wars it’s that EVERYONE loses a hand at some point so that could literally be any character ever. Anyway, I hope we don’t do another super-weapon here as two of the three originals went the super weapon route and the one that didn’t (Empire) is easily the best one. That said the poster does seem to feature some kind of super weapon in the background.

That thing in the top left is either a super weapon or robot eye of Sauron... which is an idea I could get behind.

That thing in the top left is either a super weapon or Robot Eye of Sauron… which is an idea I could get behind.

In conclusion: I am VERY excited about this. Very. I was excited for the Prequels too and those were (to be generous) terrible piles of sludge. But this just feels different, it’s an actual sequel, there’s a new guy in charge, and it just seems to be headed in the right direction. Sure, it could still be a disappointment but everything we’ve seen so far looks solid so why not just enjoy the anticipation and hope for the best!!

The Ridiculous Six 

I’m not putting the trailer on here. Because I care too much about you. Do yourself a favor and just watch the Star Wars trailer again. This is Adam Sandlers first movie with Netflix and it literally looks exactly like what you think an Adam Sandler movie set in the old west would look like. Dumb. Pandering. More then a little racist. That’s it. Move along. Nothing to see here. Seriously. Don’t watch it.

A Very Murray Christmas 

I don’t believe more people aren’t freaking out about this! This looks great, Bill Murray, Amy Poehler, George Clooney, and a bunch of other cool people (and Miley Cyrus) all get together in what looks like a really cool tribute to the old school Christmas Specials of old… Schools. It just looks great and all set to sit down with a nice cup of hot chocolate and just enjoy the wonderfulness… don’t let me down Murray.

Ratchet and Clank 

Oh, also this is happening. So ya know… hello childhood. I missed you. Seriously, this should be awesome. Could be awesome, but then again the last time we did the whole ‘Video Game Movie’ thing we got Hitman 2: No Seriously We Made Another One, and that was just the worst. So call me a pessimist but in this case I’m working with a fairly empty glass that has a hole in it and has already proved MULTIPLE times to be completely incapable of holding water.

And there you go Jon and Co. Co. and Jon. And other Inc’s, Co’s, and Ltd’s. Hope you enjoyed it, have a happy halloween and I’ll see you, in November!

Ah the Cons. Comic-con, Gamescon, Conman-con, condor-con, con-con, and now Disney-con. Or as all the cool kids are calling it D23… con. Seriously though a lot went down at this years D-con-23, and for those of you who don’t know, don’t care, or don’t con here’s a list of all the things you need to know that happened, at the con.

Some Star Wars Things 

Star Wars World 

Yup. It’s a thing. Like Disney World, but for an even more nerdy group of people. There are very few things I hate in this world… okay I basically hate everything. But one of those basically everything I hate are large groups of people, large groups of people congregating in lines, and loud screamy things. So as you can imagine Star Wars World sounds about as appealing to me as “Wet Dog Smell and Tarantula World” but I can see the appeal I suppose for you regular not socially incompetent people out there. Ya Nerds.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens 

I’m getting more and more excited for this movie, and this poster only pushes me even further towards the brink of awesome. I mean it just looks classic and awesome and not at all like the weirdly horrible photo-shop looking things the prequels did. I’m so excited to get to a theater and just enjoy a Star Wars movie, I feel like at this point as long as the movie is just fun and enjoyable everything will be great. I don’t need it to be awesome, I just need it to be good, and say what you want about JJ Abrams he has (by and large) produced good movies/TV shows. Few of them have really been ‘great’ but I don’t need great JJ. I just need good. Please make this good.


So everyone here has a weapon... except for that girl with a stick. So I feel that's her bad.

So everyone here has a weapon… except for that girl with a stick. So I feel that’s her bad.

Star Wars: Rogue One 

I don’t know if I’ve talked about this on the site before cause I generally don’t like to bring things up until there’s actually something to talk about but Rogue One is actually a very interesting movie that’s scheduled to be released next year. For those of you who don’t know Disney is releasing a ‘continuation’ of the Star Wars franchise (episodes 7,8,9) every two years for the next however many years that is (math is not only not my strong suit, it’s not even my casual board shorts.) In the off years they’ll be making little anthology movies that build on the current universe while not necessarily furthering the plot of 7, 8, and sometimes 9. The first of these is Rogue One a movie set in the little delved into years between the end of Star Wars Episode 3: We’ve Made a Huge Mistake and Star Wars Episode 4: The Start of the Good Movies.

Details are scarce but the prevailing theory is that the movie will focus on a group of regular (i.e. non-Jedi) rebels attempting to steal the plans for the Death Star (thus kicking off the events of Episode 4: A New Mark Hamill.) The big reveal of Con-D2-Con-3 was the cast which features a lot of names I don’t care about and then Alan Freekin’ Tudyk. Yup. That Alan Tudyk.

We missed you Wash. Welcome back.

We missed you Wash. Welcome back.

I should also probably mention that they found a director for Star Wars Episode 9 but given that that movie isn’t coming out for roughly ten billion years, neither you nor I nor anyone else, needs to use up valuable brain space remembering his name. So for the next few years I shall just refer to him as: That-Dude-Who-Directed-Jurassic-World. So congrats That-Dude-Who-Directed-Jurassic-World. You the man… probably.

Some Marvel Things

If you were at R-con-D2-con you know a lot about Marvel’s next two movies Captain America: Civil War and Doctor Strange. If you weren’t there you know pretty much exactly the same things you did before the con. Some trailers were shown but haven’t been released yet publically and I could describe them to you but that would be me describing to you, a visual medium that I have only had described to me in a non-visual format… which does seem a little ridiculous. So to summarize: people are VERY excited for Civil War and I think it’ll be awesome. Great cast, solid story idea, and seemingly some good looking trailers. I’ll probably talk more about this and make some wild speculations and horrendously uneducated guesses when the trailer for this actually comes out to the public so for the time being I’ll just leave it alone. Even the elite elitest’s at D23con didn’t get to see a lot of Dr. Strange but… I mean it’s Benedict Cumberbatch. And he’s a wizard. It’s gonna be great.

Some Random Things

Alice and Wonderland: Through the Looking Glass revealed it’s first poster and some vague hints at a storyline. It seems this venture will feature Alice traveling through time somehow and meeting past versions of characters all the while trying to help the Mad Hatter who seems to be even more mad then usual. I was fine with the first Alice in Wonderland (it had it’s problems but on the whole I thought it was fun and very well cast) so I’m down with this. Sure the plot sounds a little weird, but it’s Alice in Wonderland so that’s pretty much what it’s supposed to be anyway. I mean if they said this story was about Alice struggling to pick which type of Hormel Baked Beans to buy I’d be concerned but generally speaking the less sensical the better is the rules by which we judge Alice.

Quick the Mad Hatter is lost in MC Eschers bathtub!!!

Quick the Mad Hatter is lost in MC Eschers bathtub!!!

Orlando Bloom will be in “Pirates of the Carribean 5: Yup, It’s Happening.” Look, I’m fine with this. In order of goodness Pirates of the Carribean goes 1, 4, 2, 3 so maybe 5 will continue the upward trend I don’t know. Plus, who doesn’t want to see Jack Sparrow again right?? What’s that? Yeah… me neither really.

And finally the Jungle Book poster came out. I mean the poster informs us of exactly nothing but I’m excited for this movie mostly for the cast anyway so whatever. I mean this could be a picture of just the voice cast standing in a studio talking into microphines and I’d be pretty stoked so… yeah. I’m in.

And there you have it guys!! All the things that happened at Con-D-Con-3 that you should care about!! You’re welcome.