Posts Tagged ‘Star Wars’

Well guys here’s hoping you had a great old holiday times! That all your reindeer have come home to roost in their respective reinroosts. But now it’s time for big things, huge things, the biggest things there is in all of the hollywoodspheres. Oh yes wander… I’m talkin’ bout dem Star Wars!!

First off: All our Thoughts We Might Have Had love goes out to the family of Carrie Fischer and Debbie Reynolds. Each was a film icon in their own right and the loss of them hits hard. Both were stars of movies that very honestly shaped portions of my childhood and while I deal in a ton of sarcasm here let me just genuinely say thanks to you both for your incredible careers and work.

Micah Reviews: Star Wars Rogue One… A Star Wars Story… From Star Wars.

poster-1

Wait it’s called what now?

 

It’s worth noting before we get into this that this movie IS a Star Wars prequel but it is not part of “the Prequels.” This is before episode 4 but AFTER episode 3. So it’s a prequel to the originals, but a postquel to the prequels. Got it? Think of this as Episode 3.5 if that helps.

The Plot:

So the movie opens with a young girl living on a farm, and her and her parents live happily on that farm, learning valuable lessons and growing closer to each other. Ha ha. No. I’m kidding. Her parents die. Or sort of die. Mostly die. Anyway, this is just the opening to a long and well told story about the little farm girl who name was Jyn and who grows up and is one day dragged semi against her will into the Rebel Alliance.

rogue1

Guys look at that beautiful moon!

 

Jyn pairs up with a rag tag band of rebels who head out on a desperate quest to find the plans for the Empires latest weapon: The Death Star.

I don’t want to spoil anything from a story standpoint but it’s a big story guys. Real real big.

The Negatrons:

Just some real fast nits to pick before we get into things: I did feel like there were a few pretty obvious throw away scenes especially in regards to the movies main villain. There were a couple sections with him that just felt like somewhat had earmarked for “villain development” that weren’t necessary. I love a well-rounded villain but this movie didn’t really need one and it never felt like the scenes with him were super necessary or interesting.

rg1

“Does anyone else feel overdressed for beach day?”

 

There’s just a few too many little wink-wink sort of nods to episode 4. It didn’t bother me a lot and especially once the movie gets going that all falls off but for a movie this good, it felt a little cheap to be going “remember THESE guys!!” I’m all about some light fan pandering, but this was a really good movie that didn’t need quite as many as it had. Once again though: nit picking.

The positives:

I appreciated so so much how different this movie felt. The big Star Wars movies are filled with light vs. dark and characters having these big spiritual awakenings and become warriors having big impressive looking fights. Rogue One though isn’t really light vs. dark so much as it focuses very clearly on grey vs. dark. It’s a movie about the rebels down in the trenches that we don’t really get to see in the movies. The fight scenes are very impressive yes, but none of our heroes are unstoppable war machines. For the record I think that’s how the big Star Wars episodes should be and I appreciate them a lot, but this was a really good change of pace and a very well done look at the other parts of the rebellion.

It’s a very good story guys. It’s not necessarily unpredictable, but it’s very well done and well told. The beginning does take a little bit to really develop but once it gets going it gets going in a big way.

rogue one

Seriously guys, you can’t float in that armor.

 

Probably worth mentioning that the graphics here are gorgeous. There’s a fairly large scale space battle at one point and it’s very VERY well done.

The characters are very well written and I appreciate the movie going out of its way to build realistic characters to put into these situations. They have a surprising amount of depth to them without the movie really having to take time to have big clichéd conversations about what deep characters they are. They just are.

In summary:

Star Wars: Rogue One is a very different Star Wars movie but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad Star Wars movie. In fact it’s VERY good. It’s not the sort of story we’ve come to expect from the universe but I think that’s a good thing. I’m super stoked for Episode 8, but it was really cool to see this universe from a different (Jedi free) perspective. It’s a heavy movie, that deals with heavy material, but it’s a really, really great movie.

I give it 4 totally alive farmers, out of 5.

So there you have it guys!! Have a happy new year and check in next Tuesday for the first of my Year in Review series!!

Slight Spoiler Warning!!

I loved the second Darth Vader section, sadly the first (while good) definitely falls under my “unnecessary villain scene” section.

Internet! Hello and welcome to a very exciting new edition of the mailbag, wherein I crack open some letters from a galaxy far, far away!!

Dear Micah, am I alive?!?!?!? Curse this limbo I find myself in!! It’s just me and Cobb from Inception in here and his stupid spinning top is getting real annoying!! – Boba Fett, Limbo.

Look Boba, I don’t know. Some context for the uninitiated: in the movies Boba Fett is a silent bounty hunter who everyone seems to think is real awesome, but really all we see him do is get his ship flushed out in the garbage (maybe on purpose??) and then gets murdered by a blind guy flailing around with a stick who happens to hit him in the jet pack. I mean movie-wise, we have no idea what Boba Fett is actually capable of. In the book universe, Boba Fett blows up the Sarlacc and goes on to have some great storylines and prove that he really is the best bounty hunter in the galaxy. But then when episode 7 came out Disney hit the reset button on the entire book-iverse, condemning Fett to Limbo.

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Boba Fett: Good for bounties, bad for digestion.

 

All that said, Disney likes money Boba, and people will flock to theaters to see your helmety face. You’ll be back. I mean, worst case scenario you’ll be back in Star Wars Rebels (Darth Maul actually came back to life for that show) but I think they’ll save you for a big reveal in the movies. Hang in there buddy.

Dear Micah, I’m back!! Are you excited to see me in Star Wars Rebels? – Grand Admiral Thrawn, definitely existing.

grand-admiral-thrawn-actor

Are those… are those lizards behind him about to kiss?

 

Goodness all the nerdy book characters of my youth keep writing in! Okay so (some background) Admiral Thrawn was maybe the best villain in the entire book-iverse. But when Disney mashed reset he (much like Boba) was cast off into the unknown. Now though, he’s back with a vengeance in a brand new Star Wars Rebels season. That said: Star Wars Rebels (which is supposed to be great) is only available on the Disney Channel XD (whatever that is.) So I’m glad you’re alive and everything Thrawn but uh… I will probably not get to watch you. At all.

Dear Micah, I am also back!! How much will I actually be in Rogue 1, though? Will I actually get a chance to do some good old fashioned Vader-murder?? Darth Vader, that weird pod thing.

Look Vades, (can I call ya Vades??) I don’t know honestly how much you’ll be in Rogue 1. I mean, you’re not the main villain, I’m pretty sure. It’s that other dude with the cape that has a HUGE rip in it.

rogue one

Someone should probably tell him about that.

 

That said: Star Wars fans have never really seen you cut loose (dissection pun) in the movies. The comics and books have multiple accounts of you basically winning battles single-handedly but in the movies it’s all been 1 v. 1. And that first battle in Episode 4 with you vs. Obi-wan was just depressing. You looked like two old men fighting over a garden hose. I REALLY hope we get to see Vader mix it up some, yeah. I’d love to see maybe an opening sequence where Vader just mows down a Rebel base or maybe something in the middle where our heroes are part of larger task force and Vader just starts picking them off one by one. I don’t know. But this seems like the movie to do something big with Vader and now that we know he’s a part of it I hope we get to some action!

Dear Micah, I shot second!! – Greedo, Dead.

Shut-up Greedo. Nobody cares.

Dear Micah, I stabbed first!! – Kylo Ren, definitely on the Dark Side forever.

Too soon, Kylo. Too soon.

 

 

Okay Internet, so here we are. After years of waiting, months of anxious anticipation, and whole days of me sitting nervously in a darkened room trying to avoid spoilers, we’ve made it. Below is my review of the movie for which I have spent my entire life training to review… or something.

Micah Reviews: Star Wars: The Force Awakens

SW-THE-FORCE-AWAKENS

Slightly less of a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away.

(VERY slight spoilers below)

The Plot:

It’s been… a time, since the Return of the Jedi and the explosion of the second death star that would have totally destroyed Darth Vader’s mask. In that time, things have not really changed at all. There’s still the Empire (now called the First Order) there’s still the Rebels (now called The Resistance) and there are still no Jedi.

In this largely unchanged galaxy we’re introduced to Rey, Finn, Poe, and some other monosyllabically named people. These people will (except for Poe) make some discoveries, find some things, meet some older people who you may recognize, and shoot some blasters. It’s a big, galaxy spanning adventure that I can’t really get into too much detail on just in case some cave dwelling nerd out there still somehow hasn’t seen this. But don’t worry, we’ll get to some spoilers later.

The Positives:

It’s Star Wars again guys. Not whatever that messy nonsense we called episodes 1-3. Not the epic story of a small annoying child who grew into a larger and (improbably) more annoying adult. Nope, it’s Star Wars. Big galaxy crossing adventures, filled with fun characters, cool special effects, and crazy Force powers. No long, boring meetings where characters stand around and debate senate policy or talk about how the Force is feeling that day. Nope it’s a big, fun, adventure filled Star Wars movie. Just like they should be.

falcon1

Arguably the most important part of any good Star Wars movie.

The acting is really solid even Harrison Ford who I can only assume was on ALL of the drugs to make him look alive again. Daisy Ridley leads the new cast with her great performance as the still fairly mysterious Rey, and the rest of the cast, young and old alike, turn in universally strong performances.

The script is good. It’s not great, it never really delivers big, strong moments or huge hilarious laugh lines, but it’s a strong script filled with just enough humor and just enough heart to let you sit back and enjoy the spectacle and characters of the movie.

The Negatrons:

Not a lot to say here. A couple things seemed to happen coincidentally but it’s hard to pass final judgment on these things until the next movie pops in. It’s incredibly obvious that Episode 8 and 9 will be filled with call backs to this movie and the things that happened between 6 and 7 so who knows maybe one of the main characters turning up in the last five minutes of the movie with an easy answer to everyone’s questions will make sense, I don’t know.

The first time I watched this (yes I’ve seen it twice) I was not on board with Kylo Ren in his… more angsty moments. I didn’t mind as much the second time though so maybe my “new Vader” expectation was too high. He definitely isn’t New Vader but he does have a little “New Whiny Force User” to him so… we’ll see how that goes.

The movie does (in a couple key places) borrow heavily from the Episode 4 plot. I’m gonna be fairly forgiving on that this time because I think it was important to make this feel like Star Wars again more than anything else. If the trend continues in the next movie it’ll obviously be a big problem but I’ll let it slide JJ… this time.

In Conclusion:

This is a great movie guys. If you like Star Wars, or even if you just like movies, this is great. It’s a great journey from start to finish with great performances, a strong script, and just that great feeling of being back in a galaxy far far away.

I give it 4 Fars out of 5.

Some spoiler thoughts: And yes these are VERY spoilery. Do not read if you care about such things.

So, Han Solo died… like I said he would. Look, of the original big 3 Harrison Ford was the oldest and the one who absolutely HATES Star Wars. And probably everyone in the world also. I’m glad they got him back and I thought he did awesome in this movie but I think it was time for him to go.

And speaking of him going, let’s talk Kylo Ren. So clearly the next movie is going to be largely centered around the training of Kylo and Rey, an interesting dichotomy of light versus dark and a cool set up for some flash backs and some much needed fleshing out of these characters. I thought it was interesting that the “climactic” lightsaber battle was fairly sedate due to the fact that neither person was fully trained (or trained at all if you’re Rey.) But that’s not gonna fly for very long so expect to see a more full powered fight sometime next movie. I was not super impressed with Kylo in his “non mask wearing angst” but we’ll see if he can step it up in the next movie with some more clarity of purpose. It’s clear that his light side/dark side struggle is gonna be a big part of these movies so hopefully he becomes a more grounded character in the next movie.

And now for some wild speculation: So Rey is probably a Skywalker, right? I mean, we know she was at the Jedi Temple when Kylo went all Ren on everything, and she’s strong in the Force and she seems to have a very Anakin way of fixing machines/flying things very well. She’s probably a Skywalker, just like Kylo was always probably a Solo. BUT what if… She’s a Kenobi??? Obi-Wan was on Tatooine for a LONG time and what if this is his granddaughter? Obviously she’s strong in the Force and she’s even got her mind trick game going just like her old Granddad. I mean let’s be clear: She’s probably Luke’s kid. But I’m just saying…

obi-wan-kenobi

Cause you know you’d watch a “Obi-Wan falls in love, and other Tatooine Adventures” movie.

 

Finally: I was slightly disappointed there was no Boba Fett sighting. I know I joked about it in my last article but I was hoping we’d get at least an indication of whether or not he was still kickin’ around in this particular version of the Galaxy. (He totally is, cause… ya know, toys and stuff.) But it would have been nice to get some Easter Egg thing that would give us a clue.

But there you have it internet, my review of Star Wars and a whole lot of unconnected and nerdy spoilers!! Thanks for reading and check back Thursday when we start our annual end of the year awards columns!!

We’ve almost made it guys. We’re almost to the Force Awakens and let me tell you it is getting harder and harder for me to pretend that I’m an actual, functioning adult. I mean come on gang, this is Star Wars!!! New and (According to Rotten Tomatoes anyway) good Star Wars movies!! It’s a pretty sweet time to be alive.

Okay so, in this my last post before that wonderful night when I go and watch the new Star Wars whatever shall we talk about? Shall we speculate completely wildly on the movie and probably make a colossal moron of myself just in time to act like a colossal geek in front of my wife when we actually go to the theater to see Star Wars?? Sure. Why not. It’s not like that second thing won’t wipe out any damage done by the first thing anyway.

It’s important to note here that none of these are not spoilers. I know literally nothing about these movies other then what was in the trailers. Heck, I haven’t seen all the trailers, just the two main ones. This is all just insane speculation. I actually took out a whole question and replaced it with another one cause I thought that I somehow stumbled onto the correct answer to a VERY plot centric question, so seriously, you have nothing to worry about here.

5 Big Questions for the Force Awakens

Question 1: Will this thing be any good anyway??

An obvious but VERY important question. Simply put: very probably yes. Look, this movie has thus far gotten great reviews and JJ Abrams is a known, quality director. Abrams has never made anything face meltingly good, but he also hasn’t made anything face meltingly bad, or anything that would stop one from being able to feel ones face when they were with him.  Abrams makes pretty good movies, the cast looks solid, and early reviews are great.

I’m not saying this will be the movie to forever change your life and heart and child’s diapers. I’m not even saying it will dethrone Empire Strikes Back as the best Star Wars movie, but it will probably be good.

Question 2: Who are all the new peeps?

Okay so we’ve got Ray, Fin, Kylo, and… Po?? As the new characters. Wait wait Po? You know the last time a group of four being were concluded by someone named Po????

group

So here’s hoping there’s not a ton in common there.

 

Well that’s… unsettling. But anyway the odds them being teletubbies is fairly low. But who are they? Well let’s start with the free agents shall we? I’m guessing that Po Dameron or however you spell his last name probably isn’t anyone’s son.

I mean I’m sure he’s someone’s son. Just not one of the big 3 from the previous series. Maybe he’s Wedge’s son or Porkins son, or Boba Fett’s great nephew or something I don’t know, but I think it’s a fair bet he’s not attached to any big lead characters.

I also really hope Fin is just a guy. I mean it’d be fine if he was Lando’s son but the fact that the one black guy in this movie, would then be the one black guy in the other movies kid is just…. weird. If we’re diversifying the galaxy a bit why not let their be at least the possibility of two different black males in it shall we?

Plus it’d be kind of cool to have him as just some random guy thrust into a crazy situation rather then being some destined child of Mace Windu or something like that.

That leave Ray (Daisey Ridley) and Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) left of the new big named characters to be the child of either Han and Leia or Luke and… whoever. Of course the weird thing there is Luke is married in the books and does have a kid but we threw out the books when we made these new movies and now Luke’s marital status is suddenly entirely unknown. My best guess (and this is a guess) is that Ray and Kylo are actually BOTH Han and Leia’s kids. It makes sense and continues Star Wars weird tradition of having siblings who don’t know their siblings. On the plus side it seems real unlikely that these two will be kissing. Thank goodness.

Question 3: Is Boba Fett still around? 

So you all remember Boba Fett, right? In the movies we knew him as the guy who had to specifically be told not to ‘disintegrate’ the people he was supposed to capture, got CRAZY lucky by happening to park his spaceship in such a way that it would get thrown out in the trash, and then succeeded in getting killed by a blind person, by accident. So not exactly a stellar resume’ as far as the films are concerned. That said, in the books he survives said accidental murders and comes back bigger and less clumsier then ever!!

fett

He probably got that dent in his helmet from walking into a wall.

 

But the books don’t actually count anymore so does Boba Fett come back in the new series? In short: yes. People love Boba Fett, and Disney would have to be REALLY stupid not to use that to their advantage. Now, that doesn’t mean I think he’ll be in The Force Awakens, I really don’t. I do think somewhere in the movie though someone will drop a subtle hint or throw-away line that Fett is alive. Something like “Boy I’d love to sell you that sandwich, but I already told some funny looking guy in a green Helmet that he could have it, not sure what his name was, real slimy though, looked like he just crawled out of a sarlaac or something!! Ha ha ha.”

My guess is we see Fett in Episode 8, when our heroes have to team up with him for some vague reason. Even JJ can only open so many cans of worms at once.

Question 4: Will Hayden Christensen come back?

Good gravy I hope not. But it could happen, I mean cloning is definitely a thing and Kylo Ren (not exactly the poster child for mental stability) does have Vaders helmet…. but I mean come on. I spent HOURS having Star Wars ruined by Hayden Christensen’s stupid man face. SURELY JJ Abrams will keep Christensen’s mopey sad visage out of my Star Wars right JJ??? RIGHT!?!?!?!?!

Question 5: Do ANY characters from the prequels show up? 

Ummm… no??? I think. I mean most of them are dead right?? Yoda, Obi-wan, Anakin (PLEASE no JJ), even minor-ish characters like Bail Organa (Leia’s adoptive daddy who done got blowed up by that there Death Star) are pretty dead. I mean sure we never saw Jar-Jar die but there’s no WAY Jar-Jar is in this. No. Way. So probably not, which is kinda weird. I mean sure it’s been like 60 years of movie time since those things happened but you’d think someone would still be around in a space age future world wouldn’t you?? That said most of those characters died in those movies and the ones who survived were later killed in the 4-6. I mean I guess technically Boba is from the original trilogy but like I said I don’t think he’s actually seen here. And yes R2 and C3PO were in the prequels but they definitely don’t count. I mean, come on.

r2c3

“It’s all right R2, he’s just jealous.”

 

So there you go guys, good times, at a great price. Now go out there, grab that toy lightsaber, and find a theatre to watch the Force Awakens at. It’s gonna be good times!!

Internet… it has happened. Right now in this cold cruel world there are several hundred nay possibly several thousand people… who have seen Star Wars Episode 7. And I am not one of them, you are probably not one of them. I’m sorry. Let’s take a second and just quietly mourn to ourselves of our terrible defeat.

Let us also spend the next several days carefully monitoring our internet usage so we don’t get anything spoiled. The spoilers are out there now guys, lurking in the dark corners, waiting to kill us and eat half of us and then bury us in the woods so they can return and finish us later… or maybe those are bears.

Okay, that last part was definitely bears, but the first part is undeniably spoilers. There are spoilers out there, be wary my friends. Be wary.

spoilers

But instead of focusing on what we haven’t seen yet, let’s instead turn our attention to what we have seen, what we can see, and what we have probably already seen. The 6 existing movies and (more specifically) in which order they should be watched.

Which leads us to this bold font:

How to Watch Star Wars 

Now this guide is mainly designed to be in a hypothetical sort of: ‘I’m introducing Star Wars to someone for the first time’ scenario. If you’ve already seen all 6… well you’ve already seen all 6. So it really doesn’t matter how you watch them. Granted, it really doesn’t matter how someone new to Star Wars watches them but if all I did on this blog was talk about things that really mattered this would be WAY less funny so let’s just roll on shall we?

Method 1: Chronologically. 1-2-3-4-5-6 

Let’s get this out of the way now: Don’t do this. You’re starting with the two weakest movies, with the worst writing and the criminally bad idea that was Jar Jar Binks. That’s no way to watch a franchise. I mean if you do this you’ve got to sit through 7 hours-ish of movies before you even get to Han Solo, the Millennium Falcon, and a writer that wasn’t gradually drowning under his own beard. Plus, you’ve got to remember the big Darth Vader reveal is in 5 (arguably the best movie) but if you watch 1, 2 and 3 first you’ve literally taken all the surprise out of it. I mean come on. Think of the children. Think of all the people, living for today!! And then don’t let those people watch Star Wars like this!! In the immortal words of Admiral Ackbar:

trap

Method 2: By Release 4-5-6-1-2-3

Okay this is sort of the standard way to do it. You get the full experience of 4-6 and then the full let down of 1-2 followed by the slightly less let down of episode 3. Is there a word for slightly less of let down?? A let… slope? Slightly better than the previous letdown but also still a pretty big letdown. There’s merit to this but it’s not the best way, it’s the most obvious way that doesn’t involve making someone watch the cinematic train wreck that was episode 1 first. But let’s get to something a bit more outside the old Star Box shall we?

Method 3: The Patton Oswalt 4-5-1-2-3-6

I’m not sure if Patton Oswalt invented this or not but he’s the one I heard say it first and this is the Internet so my attributing a fact to someone without doing any research isn’t just par for the course, it is the course. So anyway when Patton Oswalt sat up one night in his commemorative Star Wars bed and invented this theory, I was one of the first people he emailed about it, and this is what his email said.

duty_calls

So you start with 4 and 5, which maintains the I am your Father twist AND let’s you start with the best two movies in the series. Then you go back and watch 1-2-3 and three which gives you the Darth Vader story and THEN you go back and watch 6 which wraps up the Darth Vader story, finishes the saga and gets you rarin’ to go for Episode 7.

So there you go guys, the way to watch Star Wars. But however you choose to watch it, whether you go for the first stupid one, or the last two perfectly acceptable ones, may you enjoy it and may the Force be with you all.

Internet!! Welcome back to Thursday. That’s right folks we’re getting back to core values here and actually posting on the days that I’m supposed to post! I know, it’s a little crazy, a little out there, but we’re just gonna roll with it and see what happens! So full credit going to whom said full credit is due this article was partially inspired and completely transported by the post of one Jon who said in words so epic and poetic:

Jon- Any thoughts on the New Force Awakens Trailer?

And how could I, lowly mortal that I am, turn down such an urgent and beautiful request as that? Such an honest, heartfelt plea, for my wisdom, my insight, my ability to leap to ungainly conclusions without all of the facts? This bold’s for you Jon.

Judging Covers 10/29/2015 

The Force Awakens 

Hang on… gonna need a minute for my nerdy heartbeat to return to normal. Okay… okay we’re good. Look, this trailer has been analyzed, penalized, and alphabetized all over the internet so for the sake of non-redundancy I’m not gonna get into a frame by frame break down of the trailer. But here are my general thoughts on a few key parts of the trailer.

The Cast: Looks real strong. Somebody somewhere must be constantly handing Harrison Ford 100 dollar bills cause man does he look… alive. Which is more then can be said of anything he’s done in what?? Ten years??? Obviously this is a ridiculously small sample size but if Harrison Ford bought into this movie and we can some vintage Han Solo I’m calling this a success right now. The rest of the cast looks pretty solid too and I’m particularly excited to see what happens with the new villain Kylo Ren and to see what Adam Driver (a very talented guy) does with it.

The Plot: Obviously we know very little for certain here so please take everything I’m about to type as complete and utter conjecture. The plot seems to mostly revolve around Finn (the Stromtrooper) and Rey (the (not to be sexist) woman) who meet up with Han and Chewie presumably looking for Luke (who has yet to appear in ANY of the adds for this film except for probably as that cloaked guy with with the robo-hand. But if we know anything about Star Wars it’s that EVERYONE loses a hand at some point so that could literally be any character ever. Anyway, I hope we don’t do another super-weapon here as two of the three originals went the super weapon route and the one that didn’t (Empire) is easily the best one. That said the poster does seem to feature some kind of super weapon in the background.

That thing in the top left is either a super weapon or robot eye of Sauron... which is an idea I could get behind.

That thing in the top left is either a super weapon or Robot Eye of Sauron… which is an idea I could get behind.

In conclusion: I am VERY excited about this. Very. I was excited for the Prequels too and those were (to be generous) terrible piles of sludge. But this just feels different, it’s an actual sequel, there’s a new guy in charge, and it just seems to be headed in the right direction. Sure, it could still be a disappointment but everything we’ve seen so far looks solid so why not just enjoy the anticipation and hope for the best!!

The Ridiculous Six 

I’m not putting the trailer on here. Because I care too much about you. Do yourself a favor and just watch the Star Wars trailer again. This is Adam Sandlers first movie with Netflix and it literally looks exactly like what you think an Adam Sandler movie set in the old west would look like. Dumb. Pandering. More then a little racist. That’s it. Move along. Nothing to see here. Seriously. Don’t watch it.

A Very Murray Christmas 

I don’t believe more people aren’t freaking out about this! This looks great, Bill Murray, Amy Poehler, George Clooney, and a bunch of other cool people (and Miley Cyrus) all get together in what looks like a really cool tribute to the old school Christmas Specials of old… Schools. It just looks great and all set to sit down with a nice cup of hot chocolate and just enjoy the wonderfulness… don’t let me down Murray.

Ratchet and Clank 

Oh, also this is happening. So ya know… hello childhood. I missed you. Seriously, this should be awesome. Could be awesome, but then again the last time we did the whole ‘Video Game Movie’ thing we got Hitman 2: No Seriously We Made Another One, and that was just the worst. So call me a pessimist but in this case I’m working with a fairly empty glass that has a hole in it and has already proved MULTIPLE times to be completely incapable of holding water.

And there you go Jon and Co. Co. and Jon. And other Inc’s, Co’s, and Ltd’s. Hope you enjoyed it, have a happy halloween and I’ll see you, in November!

Ah the Cons. Comic-con, Gamescon, Conman-con, condor-con, con-con, and now Disney-con. Or as all the cool kids are calling it D23… con. Seriously though a lot went down at this years D-con-23, and for those of you who don’t know, don’t care, or don’t con here’s a list of all the things you need to know that happened, at the con.

Some Star Wars Things 

Star Wars World 

Yup. It’s a thing. Like Disney World, but for an even more nerdy group of people. There are very few things I hate in this world… okay I basically hate everything. But one of those basically everything I hate are large groups of people, large groups of people congregating in lines, and loud screamy things. So as you can imagine Star Wars World sounds about as appealing to me as “Wet Dog Smell and Tarantula World” but I can see the appeal I suppose for you regular not socially incompetent people out there. Ya Nerds.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens 

I’m getting more and more excited for this movie, and this poster only pushes me even further towards the brink of awesome. I mean it just looks classic and awesome and not at all like the weirdly horrible photo-shop looking things the prequels did. I’m so excited to get to a theater and just enjoy a Star Wars movie, I feel like at this point as long as the movie is just fun and enjoyable everything will be great. I don’t need it to be awesome, I just need it to be good, and say what you want about JJ Abrams he has (by and large) produced good movies/TV shows. Few of them have really been ‘great’ but I don’t need great JJ. I just need good. Please make this good.

Please.

So everyone here has a weapon... except for that girl with a stick. So I feel that's her bad.

So everyone here has a weapon… except for that girl with a stick. So I feel that’s her bad.

Star Wars: Rogue One 

I don’t know if I’ve talked about this on the site before cause I generally don’t like to bring things up until there’s actually something to talk about but Rogue One is actually a very interesting movie that’s scheduled to be released next year. For those of you who don’t know Disney is releasing a ‘continuation’ of the Star Wars franchise (episodes 7,8,9) every two years for the next however many years that is (math is not only not my strong suit, it’s not even my casual board shorts.) In the off years they’ll be making little anthology movies that build on the current universe while not necessarily furthering the plot of 7, 8, and sometimes 9. The first of these is Rogue One a movie set in the little delved into years between the end of Star Wars Episode 3: We’ve Made a Huge Mistake and Star Wars Episode 4: The Start of the Good Movies.

Details are scarce but the prevailing theory is that the movie will focus on a group of regular (i.e. non-Jedi) rebels attempting to steal the plans for the Death Star (thus kicking off the events of Episode 4: A New Mark Hamill.) The big reveal of Con-D2-Con-3 was the cast which features a lot of names I don’t care about and then Alan Freekin’ Tudyk. Yup. That Alan Tudyk.

We missed you Wash. Welcome back.

We missed you Wash. Welcome back.

I should also probably mention that they found a director for Star Wars Episode 9 but given that that movie isn’t coming out for roughly ten billion years, neither you nor I nor anyone else, needs to use up valuable brain space remembering his name. So for the next few years I shall just refer to him as: That-Dude-Who-Directed-Jurassic-World. So congrats That-Dude-Who-Directed-Jurassic-World. You the man… probably.

Some Marvel Things

If you were at R-con-D2-con you know a lot about Marvel’s next two movies Captain America: Civil War and Doctor Strange. If you weren’t there you know pretty much exactly the same things you did before the con. Some trailers were shown but haven’t been released yet publically and I could describe them to you but that would be me describing to you, a visual medium that I have only had described to me in a non-visual format… which does seem a little ridiculous. So to summarize: people are VERY excited for Civil War and I think it’ll be awesome. Great cast, solid story idea, and seemingly some good looking trailers. I’ll probably talk more about this and make some wild speculations and horrendously uneducated guesses when the trailer for this actually comes out to the public so for the time being I’ll just leave it alone. Even the elite elitest’s at D23con didn’t get to see a lot of Dr. Strange but… I mean it’s Benedict Cumberbatch. And he’s a wizard. It’s gonna be great.

Some Random Things

Alice and Wonderland: Through the Looking Glass revealed it’s first poster and some vague hints at a storyline. It seems this venture will feature Alice traveling through time somehow and meeting past versions of characters all the while trying to help the Mad Hatter who seems to be even more mad then usual. I was fine with the first Alice in Wonderland (it had it’s problems but on the whole I thought it was fun and very well cast) so I’m down with this. Sure the plot sounds a little weird, but it’s Alice in Wonderland so that’s pretty much what it’s supposed to be anyway. I mean if they said this story was about Alice struggling to pick which type of Hormel Baked Beans to buy I’d be concerned but generally speaking the less sensical the better is the rules by which we judge Alice.

Quick the Mad Hatter is lost in MC Eschers bathtub!!!

Quick the Mad Hatter is lost in MC Eschers bathtub!!!

Orlando Bloom will be in “Pirates of the Carribean 5: Yup, It’s Happening.” Look, I’m fine with this. In order of goodness Pirates of the Carribean goes 1, 4, 2, 3 so maybe 5 will continue the upward trend I don’t know. Plus, who doesn’t want to see Jack Sparrow again right?? What’s that? Yeah… me neither really.

And finally the Jungle Book poster came out. I mean the poster informs us of exactly nothing but I’m excited for this movie mostly for the cast anyway so whatever. I mean this could be a picture of just the voice cast standing in a studio talking into microphines and I’d be pretty stoked so… yeah. I’m in.

And there you have it guys!! All the things that happened at Con-D-Con-3 that you should care about!! You’re welcome.