Posts Tagged ‘Star Trek: Into Darkness’

These are dark days. Days when as you look out over the horizons of your blog you see nothing but wide open planes (or plains… or Spain… or something), rolling tumbleweeds, and lizards who may or may not be voiced by Johnny Depp.

Say what?

Say what?

Into these times must come a blog, a blog not just for today, but a blog for tomorrow, for the day after that, for at least till Monday. And so, we find ourselves asking, who will we be, and what blog will save us from ourselves? The answer is written in the skies, in our hearts, and in the title column of this blog. The answer is:

Box Office Top Ten 5/30/13

Number 10: Oblivion

Slinking in at number ten, is the epic sci-fi epic of epicology that we know as Oblivion. I really liked Oblivion, I reviewed the whole thing over here, and thoroughly recommended a Tom Cruise movie! Something almost as common as a blue moon and a red dawn… happening at the same time.

You should see it because: You haven’t got around to it yet despite the fact that I TOLD you too. You rebel you.

Number 9: The Croods

A fairly generic looking family comedy thing about a cave-family that goes on a journey to somewhere for something that I probably don’t care about. A couple different people actually told me this was pretty good, though I’m not saying you should trust those people. I mean you don’t know them, for all you know they could be Nazis. Or fans of Justin Bieber. Regardless though this is one of two family movies on this list and it is (at the least) not horrendous. So… there’s that.

"One day guys I bet they make a movie about someone Treking across these Stars. Probably into some darkness. Man will that be a good movie."

“One day guys I bet they make a movie about someone Treking across these Stars. Probably into some darkness. Man will that be a good movie.”

You should watch it because: You have a family…. and aren’t a Nazi. I mean I guess you could see it if you are a Nazi but… you might not like it as much. Given all the freedom and things… I’m gonna shut up now.

Number 8: 42

Currently at the top of my “don’t believe I missed that but I probably won’t get around seeing it because there are things I want to see more coming out soon” list. (I really need to get some shorter list names.) 42 has gotten pretty solid reviews, and is the story of Jackie Robinson’s journey into Major League Baseball. Harrison Ford is in it, along with someone I’ve never heard of before who does a great job with Jackie (according to people who have seen it… which I have not.)

You should watch it because: You like baseball, good movies, and sweet sweet times.

Number 7: Mud

Mud is one of those movies that has gotten really good reviews from all the snotty people who have watched it but that I have yet to actually meet anyone who has seen it. I think it was released in about two theaters that scanned people’s DNA to make sure they were snotty enough before allowing them entrance.

Mud is a movie about two boys who discover a man living on an island and the man is on the run from bounty hunters and then umm… a woman. I think. Like I said all the internet people I’ve read have really liked it but for all I know those are all just the Director’s mom hacking into different computer accounts to make her son feel better about himself. So I guess if you happen to live somewhere that you can watch this movie go check it out and let me know what you think (just include some proof that you’re not the director’s mom. Ask yourself a question that only you would know the answer to. That usually works… I think.)

You should see it because: You’re one of the five people in America who can.

Number 6: The Great Gatsby 

The consensus on this movie seems to be that it’s “okay.” The story is bland (I’d summarize it for you but I left my literature degree in my other pants and I don’t currently care enough) and the storytelling is drawn out, but they Decaprio delivers a great performance. Personally, I’ll probably wait for the DVD. I just don’t care enough and there are other things in the pipe (Now You See Me AND After Earth come out this week) that I would much rather see.

You should see it because: You do care enough.

Number 5: Iron Man 3

Did it. Done it. Reviewed it here.

You should see it because: You’re a fan of awesome, pineapples, and the smell of victory.

Number 4: Epic

The other family movie on our list today, Epic is the story of a tiny little world populated by tiny little people who ride birds. Honestly it looks fairly interesting and has got pretty good reviews. For me it’ll probably slide away without my seeing it (once again there’s a lot coming out I want to see more) but if you’ve got some childrens and are tired of that sound they make this is my recommendation for the week! There’s adventure, there’s humor, and there’s the chance to delve into the little known world of slug related humor.

Wait Beyonce is in this movie? How did that happen? Did you think she was gonna sing but accidentally left a script in the studio? That's awkward.

Wait Beyonce is in this movie? How did that happen? Did you think she was gonna sing but accidentally left a script in the studio? That’s awkward. Also shouldn’t that read “Beyonce Knowles AS Queen Tara” I mean she isn’t really that person is she? 

You should see it because: It involves tiny people in a magical forest and may encourage your tiny childrens to play outside more as they try and talk to slugs.

Number 3: Star Trek: Into Darkness

How is this movie only at number 3?? Come on America, this is probably one of the best  two or tree movies that you’re going to get to watch this year!! I’m probably going to watch it again, something I haven’t done since Avengers and this movie is seriously in the same ballpark in term of epicness, have YOU seen it Bilbert? Well you should. Stop reading this right now and go watch it… Did you?

Why you should see it: Cause I told you to. And it’s awesome. And you like awesome.

Number 2: The Hangover Part 3

The Hangover series has officially entered what I like to call “The Transformer Zone.” Everyone fell in love with the first movie, the second movie was universally agreed on as being horrendous, and now that the third movie is out you feel like you have to go see it just cause you suffered through the second one and want to finish the journey. From all the reviews I’ve read 3 isn’t much better then 2 but for those of you completionists out there I suppose there’s not point in me telling you not to go is there?  

Why you should see it: Ummm…. I’ll get back to you.

Number 1: The Fast and the Furious 6

The Fast and the Furious franchise just keeps on ticking. I mean when was the last time a movie series actually got BETTER as it went along? I mean 1 was good, 2 was good, 3 and 4 were HORRENDOUS, and then all the sudden 5 and 6 turned out to be really good. I am by no means saying FF 6 is better then say… Star Trek Into Darkness. But frankly FF 6 doesn’t care. Fast and Furious just wants to drive cars, blow things up, and occasionally drive cars through things that other people have already blown up. There’s a minorly engaging story in there somewhere but neither you nor I nor anyone else goes to see Fast and the Furious for engaging storytelling. FF 6 is like the anti-Great Gatsby. It (to borrow the old song lyrics) just wants to have fun.

Why you should see it: You like blowings up, carrrings on, or some variation on those two things.

So there you have it friends, a blog for the ages… or at least till Monday. Thanks for reading, and (as ever) may the screen be ever at your front… or something.

Oh the times Internet. Oh the times. This weekend my wife and I headed down towards good old Atlanta, GA for a wedding. And what should someone say as we wandered through wedding prep and tex mex food then “Micah, I’ve always felt your pudding sculpture skills were underappreciated.” Okay so no one said that… but they were thinking it… I think.

No, what they actually said was: “Let’s go watch Star Trek Into Darkness in Imax 3D!!” To which we of course said: “Absolutely you crazy Diamond.” Except not that last part. And all of that story of course leads us to those beautiful bold typed words:

Micah Reviews; Star Trek: Into Darkness

We all know how excited I was about this movie. The cast, the plot, the dialogue all of it just looked really solid. Solid enough that even though I am not a “trekkie” or a “Trekkor” or a “Trekno warrioir” (totally not a thing) I found myself naming it my most anticipated movie of the year! Let’s find out how it worked shall we?

Benedict Cumberbatch is so cool they had to make the other people in this poster bigger just so you would notice they were there.

Benedict Cumberbatch is so cool they had to make the other people in this poster bigger just so you would notice they were there.

The Plot:

It’s been a few years since the events of Star Trek: A Kick With the Re-boot and Kirk and Spock are back doing what they love best: blowing stuff up… Wait, I mean: exploring. But when a mysterious explosion and a vicious attack on Star Fleet command send Kirk in pursuit of a deadly terrorist everything they thought they knew will be brought into question.

Who is this terrorist really? And what provoked his attack? Is there something more going on here? Is Benedict Cumberbatch’s silky smooth voice the best thing to happen to the Enterprise since it got its prize? All of these questions are brought up and dealt with along with a ton of other things having to do with Spock and Kirk themselves, the crew of the Enterprise, and the square root of 7… yeah not that last one… I was on a roll.

Star Trek bathing suits. Proof that everyone has bad ideas sometimes.

Star Trek bathing suits. Proof that everyone has bad ideas sometime.

I realize that’s not a ton of plot details but the last thing I want to do is give away any of what is an amazingly well put together, well paced plot…. Wow… well placed plot. If it’s possible to get tongue tied while typing “well paced plot” will do that to ya. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, anyway, go watch Star Trek: Into Darkness and you’ll understand why I couldn’t really say more than that.

The Positives:

The first thing you have to say about Star Trek is that it’s a brilliantly well cast movie. Cumberbatch, Zachary Quinto, and Chris Pine come together to lead an incredibly talented, incredibly well utilized cast. As the movie progresses you find yourself pulling with the crew of the Enterprise because you legitimately care about what happens to all of them, and that’s hard to do with a crew that size.

The pacing and plot of this movie are VERY well laid out. Every step is perfectly timed, the plot twists are varied and impactful, and the ending is a slide down a chocolate mountain riding a marshmellow made of awesmme.  

I could go on for a lot longer but I’ll spare you all from having to read me writing a six page ode to JJ Abrams and just say that Into Darkness just works as a package. It has everything you could want from a movie like this, it’s big and adventurous while at the same time being small and relatable. Its villain is complex and extremely well played, and the story and dialogue mesh incredibly well. Like my dear moms strawberry-rhubarb pie, Star Trek: Into Darkness works as a whole and as individual pieces!

Occasionally the rhubarb pie is also lit on fire in the upper atmosphere... but that's probably stretching this metaphor a good ways.

Occasionally the rhubarb pie is also lit on fire in the upper atmosphere… but that’s probably stretching this metaphor a good ways.

The Negatrons:

Umm… I guess if I’m really looking for nits to pick I could throw Admiral Pike’s character under a space bus. I just didn’t think his scenes were particularly enjoyable and when his time came to exit the movie I was quite glad to see his salt and peppery hair disappear into the distance.

I could also maybe say that I thought Leonard Nemoy’s cameo was a bit unnecessary but he’s Leonard Nemoy so I won’t. I mean I’m sure hard core Trek-mongers are already loading there replica phasers because I forgot to mention the tribbles or troubles or trembles or whatever.

The IMAX 3D:

Most of you probably know that I think 3D is generally a waste of money. Well I’m sure you’ll all be happy to know that after watching a great, beautifully realized movie like Star Trek: Into Darkness that I still think it’s a waste of money. I liked the IMAX screen but 3D still feels like something somebody tacked on at the end to occasionally make something moderately cool happen. 3D doesn’t make me feel like I’m “closer to the experience” or “involved in the movie.” It makes me feel like I’m wearing uncomfortable, ugly glasses so that occasionally some guy WAY nerdier then me can make a spear look like it’s gonna hit me in the pancreas. If 3D was completely free, I would probably do it… maybe. But paying an extra five or ten bucks to see a movie that will (every ten or fifteen minutes) have an effect that will make me go: “Oh, what an interesting effect.” Makes ZERO sense to me.

In conclusion:

Star Trek: Into Darkness is the best movie I’ve seen in a while. The cast is brilliant, the storyline is great, and all of the pieces of its story and character development mesh together so well that it’s impossible not to go along for the ride.

I give it 5 silky Benedicts out of 5!

Internet!! How in the world are you? What’s the shizzle? How’s the drizzle? Where’s Miss Frizzle? Oh good. Glad to hear it. No really, I am. I mean I was worried for a sec there.

All right, well, now that our formalities are out of the way I (at long loving last) am gonna talk about the movies of the summer!!! I’ve been really trying to hold off on going crazy with the blogging about movies that weren’t coming out for a few months but bear in the mind the entire months of January, February, and April featured roughly two movies that were even vaguely sort of kind of, but not really at all, even a little bit interesting. But now summer is coming and here I stand laptop in hand ready to kick some movie-butt!!! Starting with:

Micah’s Annual Summer Questions blog 2013 ed. Part 1:

Questions of May

Man I have got to work on writing shorter titles. I mean pyramids were built in the time it took me to write out the TITLE of this article. Sheesh.

Question Number 1: Will Iron Man 3 (being released on May 2nd) help us rinse out the stale growthy taste of Iron Man 2?

Let me say that I didn’t think Iron Man 2 was a bad movie per se. It just wasn’t even close to being up to par with some of the other more recent Marvel movies. Iron Man 2 was the little ADD kid running around class chewing on crayons and bragging that he could count to “bear” backwards. Meanwhile the other honors students like Thor, Iron Man 1 and Avengers just sort of tried to pretend he wasn’t around. Iron Man 2 lacked any sort of narrative focus, it got caught up in it’s own weird sense of humor and decided it wanted to tell about four hundred stories too many.

What I wouldn't give to have a glowy death hand. Also, this poster makes me feel a lot better about this movie.

What I wouldn’t give to have a glowy death hand. Also, this poster makes me feel a lot better about this movie.

Iron Man 3 seems to be taking itself a little bit more seriously so that (while still featuring the awesome hilarity of Robert Downey Jr.) it’s story will be more focused and it’s narrative a bit more impact-full  Also, Mandarin (as played by the ever awesome Ben Kingsley) looks to be a much MUCH better villain then Whiplash who never really did much then pointlessly eat up screen time, playing with a bird. Let me type that sentence again: the primary villain spent large portions of his screen time playing with a BIRD. Yeah, Iron Man 2 was that sort of movie.

Question Number 2: Will The Great Gatsby (release date May 10th) be as much of a pretentious waste of time as its trailers make it look like?

Have you seen the trailers for this movie? I mean… I got bored and annoyed at the characters and it was only like three minutes. I like Leanardo Decaprio but is it just me or does all the dialogue in this movie seemed to be delivered with the facial expressions of someone with a severe stomach cramp? I’ve read the Great Gatsby and it’s a little pretentious and overly dramatic anyway but it seems like the director of this movie decided that rather then try and ground his characters in something vaguely resembling reality he would feed them all grey poupon and make them watch the first twilight movie over and over again before shooting. I could be wrong with this one but this movie looks about as entertaining as a copy of war and peace soaked in oatmeal.

Question Number 3: Will Star Trek Into Darkness (May 15th release) break my geeky little heart?

I was as surprised as anyone when Into Darkness was named as my most anticipated movie of the year, and as time has gone by and trailers have come out I’ve actually gotten more excited about it. If this movie isn’t good I might just stop watching movies all together and become a Chinchilla farmer in rural Baghdad. That said, my hopes are still super high on this and I think the cast and story and visual style are gonna be well worth the price of admission. I’m not saying we’ve got another Dark Knight on our hands here but I’m more then ready to find out if all the hypeing I’ve been doing has been worth the hypage.

Also: Evil Sherlock!

Also: Evil Sherlock!

Question Number 4: Will After Earth (coming May 31st) be completely ruined by M. Night Shyamalan?

I really like the idea of After Earth. I like that Will Smith and Wee Will Smith (Will’s son whose name is in no way actually Wee Will Smith) are probably the only two humans in the entire movie. I do NOT like that M. Night Shyamalan has gotten his dirty little mitts on it. I mean let’s take a look at the last two big budget movies old M has given us shall we? The Happening was a horribly pointless somehow boring movie that featured pollen that for reasons that we’re never entirely clear, made people kill themselves. And Avatar: The Last Airbender was a movie that somehow ruined an amazingly popular cartoon series, and may have been the worst movie (non-Adam Sandler division) ever released. After Earth sounds like it could be really good but let’s bear in mind that all Shyamalan has done in the last decade or so has been take good ideas and make REALLY bad movies out of them. Shyamalan directing this movie is like letting blind Aunt Bertrilda back you a cake, sure there’s a chance she makes it, and yeah it’s a great recipe but… you’re letting someone else try that cake first aren’t you?

Question Number 5: Will Now You See Me (Also coming May 31st) be as awesome as it could be?

Not a lot of people have heard about this movie but it’s one of my sleeper picks for best movie of the summer. I mean it looks like someone took Ocean’s 11 and threw it really hard at a copy of the Prestige and took thay Hybrid of sweetness and stuck a great cast in it. Morgan Freeman, Jesse Eisenbergh, Michael Caine, Mark Ruffalo and Woodie Harrelson all in the same movie?? Umm… yes please! I’m super excited about this movie and would much rather watch it then risk watching M. Night single handedly stomp all over the Father-son combo of the Smiths.

Though granted, stealing Ocean's 11 poster may have been taking things a little too far.

Though granted, stealing Ocean’s 11 poster may have been taking things a little too far.

So there you have it friends! The Summer Questions of May!! Come back Thursday and check out Part 2 as I continue to work my way through what looks to be a summer full of awesome!!

Ah… I love the smell of 2013 in the morning. Smells like… morning. Anyway, after two posts looking back at 2012 with a mix of adoration and profound motherly disgust let us now turn our eyes towards the year ahead. The movies, the songs, the possible twilight re-boot (ha ha no. Just kidding. I give it at least two years.) So here we have the ten movies of 2013 that I anticipate the most or (in a more melodic manner and with bolder font):

 The Ten Most Anticipated Movies of 2013

Honorable mention: Before I dive in to the top ten here are two movies that didn’t quite make the grade. The first: Monster University. I really liked the original Monsters Inc. movie and am legitly excited about this prequel. That said, it’s another Pixar movie and all Pixar movies are starting to look the same to me. Ya know… cause they make them for children. Even though I’m not exactly in the target audience though I’m still excited to get back to good old Mike Wizowski. Just not top ten sort of excited.

Secondly: Beautiful Creatures. I’m not entirely sure what this movie is about. Something about witches and light and dark and some girl who has to choose a side or something (and not like fries or chips… I think. Though you’ve always got to go with the fries there). It looks like a cool idea and has Emma Thompson in it which are both good things, but it also looks suspiciously like it’s being aimed at all of the Twilight fans who don’t have movies to watch anymore so… I don’t know. It could be good… or laughably horrible. Only time will tell I suppose.

Okay, for real though, on to the top ten.

10. The Host

Speaking of Twilight here’s another book by Stephanie Meyer. I know, I know “she is the soul of evil blady bla bla” but first off I’ve been the soul of evil since way before Stephanie Meyer started banging her head on a keyboard and writing Twilight. Secondly, this movie actually looks interesting, and my wife (being the awesome person she is) has read the book and said it was actually pretty good and that it was hard to believe the same person had written The Host and Twlight. Plus I like Saoirse Ronan (though her name is a butt to spell) and it just seems like a movie that could be good. I will admit though that the reason it’s slinking down here at number 10 is for it’s strong “love triangle” potential.

The fact that they are literally standing in a triangle on this poster makes me uneasy.

The fact that they are LITERALLY standing in a triangle on this poster makes me uneasy.

9. The Lone Ranger

“Hi HO Johnny Depp!! Away!!” I’m moderately sort of kind of excited about this movie. I don’t know, it just looks like fun, plus what was the last really great western you watched? True Grit? And that was depressing. The Lone Ranger could be really good, but even in the worse case scenario it will be entertaining and different and I like both of those things. So let’s just see what happens.

8. Oblivion

Yes ladies and gentleman, a Tom Cruise movie. I must be getting soft… or less sarcastic… or hungry. Yup, that’s it. Seriously though, I was super intrigued by the trailer for this movie and everything I’ve read about it makes it sound pretty solid. It seems to work from an interesting premise AND has Morgan Freeman in it so… I’m interested. It has the potential to be bad, because: Tom Cruise. But hey, it looks solid so until something comes out to convince me otherwise: I’m in.

Cuase nothing says "good movie" like a waterfall made by buildings!

Cuase nothing says “good movie” like a waterfall made by buildings!

7. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Man I need to read these books. I could be reading them now but NOOO the internet had to get all persnickety on me about posting when I said I was going to and stuff like that. Anyway, I’m excited about this movie despite the fact that I have absolutely ZERO idea what it’s about. There was already a significant amount of things being caught on fire in the first movie though, so it’s only uphill from there right?

6. Man of Steel

Well hello Superman. It’s been a while. I haven’t seen you since you were fathering illegitimate children and using your x-ray vision to creepily spy on your ex and her fiancé! What’s that? Oh, were pretending none of that happened? Oh good.

Man of Steel looks like it could be a pretty good movie. I’ve talked ad nauseam about Superman and why it’s hard to make a good Superman movie, but I think this movie is showing a lot of good potential for awesomeness (though I’m creeped out slightly that both its trailers have stolen their music from SUPER popular movies but hey… I guess not everyone can hire their own composer, right?)

5. The Wolverine

Wolverine!! Practically the anti-superman Wolverine is one of my favorite Super heroes and the one I most wanted to be when I was 5. Wolverine’s last solo movie (Wolverine: Way too Many Characters) was so-so. I mean I liked it, but I made my own Wolverine claws out of wood when I was 7 so… yeah. Bias. Still though from what I’ve read about the new Wolverine it seems like the Directors have a really tight/darker themed movie that will focus less on getting as many X-men into one movie as we can, and more on, ya know, Wolverine.

4. Thor 2

Thor!!! Oh man. I am so excited about this movie. I really liked the original Thor and was utterly surprised by that fact. I honestly always thought Thor was just un-relatable and kind of weak sauce, but little did I know the true joys of bushy blond beards and massive hammers. Thor is one of my favorite of Marvel’s Avengers, plus Christopher Eccleston plays the villain, AND Tom Hiddleston is gonna be up to his usual awesomeness as Loki. What’s not to like?

There's not a poster for Thor 2 yet so I'm putting this here cause it is the sickness.

There’s not a poster for Thor 2 yet so I’m putting this here cause it is the sickness.


And once again I need to make a note here about what a hard time I had differentiating the top 3 (and especially the top two). I actually flipped them several times but in the end my head started hurting and I had to eat a Snicker’s bar just to have enough energy to finish this post, so; in the name of my blood sugar levels not reaching the magical land of double sugar covered Peeps, I’m just gonna go with my gut and admit to the internet at large that I couldn’t make up my own tiny mind.

3. The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug

Kudos to Peter Jackson for making a thousand dumb high schoolers look up the word “desolation” on their Iphones. Well done Peter. I really like The Hobbit: A Rabbit’s Holiday, except for a few parts involving the aforementioned Rabbits but more on that later. Two Towers is probably my favorite of the original Lord of the Rings and I really think Desolation of Smaug (also the second movie in the Trilogy) will be a much tighter movie then the Hobbit pt. 1. I’m excited to see what Jackson does with the characters and story-lines that he’s opened up, and the prospect of finally getting to hear the dulcimer tones of Benedict Cumberbatch playing Smaug is more then enough to make this one of my most anticipated movies of 2013.

Of course this isn't the "official" poster, but it has a Dragon. So.... I'm good.

Of course this isn’t the “official” poster, but it has a Dragon. So…. I’m good.

2. Iron Man 3

Speaking of awesome actors and Avengers, let’s all take a moment and give a big round of applause to Robert Downey Jr. I’m not gonna lie I though the second Iron Man movie was a severe step back from the awesomeness of the first movie. Downey Jr. was still awesome, and I really liked what they did with Pepper Pots and War Machine but the movie was a little to ADD for me. It looks like the new movie is taking itself a little more seriously though (while still featuring the awesome hilarity of Tony Stark). Plus Ben Kingsley playing Mandarin (the films main villain) yes please!

"I would go... but I don't have anything to wear..."

“I would go… but I don’t have anything to wear…”

1. Star Trek: Into Darkness

I know… I was surprised too. Let me say one more time: I am NOT a trekkie. I have seen… maybe two episodes of the TV shows? And I think I watched Wrath of Kahn once… three years ago… SUPER late at night. And honestly I thought they were pretty cheesy and not super well done (forgive me Patrick Stewart). I did like the new Star Trek movie and thought it was a really cool way to sort of re-boot the series without entirely throwing out everything else that had ever happened. All that said, the trailer for Into Darkness KICKED BUTT! I don’t know whether it was the cool effects, the interesting story ideas, or the fact that Benedict Cumberbatch has the voice of a Spartan Warrior dipped in Chocolate and Manliness (it’s that one) but I’m really excited about this movie. Really excited…. and I’m a little freaked out by that, because (once more) not a trekkie.

So there you have it interfriends! The ten movies I’m most looking forward to this year! Here’s hoping I (like so many great Pokemon trainers before me) catch them all. Check back on Monday when I finally get around to reviewing Les Miserables and confront my inner hatred for Amanda Siegfried.