Posts Tagged ‘Patrick Stewart’

Well hey Internet, and welcome to the jam. A jam that can be (though is not required to be) followed by a slam.

Yeah, I don’t really have an intro on this one guys, let’s just dive straight into that good jelly jam shall we?

Micah Reviews: Logan

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Logan: The best beard of 2017.

 

The X-men Franchise is rife with hits and misses, highs and lows, awesome mutants, and mutants whose superpowers involve having spiky faces… for some reason. Even the Wolverine specific movies have one really good one, and one VERY bad one. It’s a game of Russian roulette, except the gun is half filled with bullets and instead of losers getting the sweet embrace of death they have to suffer through 2 hours of vague powers and bad dialogue. So where will Logan fall? When will Logan rise? Can you name your future children Logan without people thinking you’re pretentious?? (No.)

The Plot:

So it’s not a great time to be alive if you’re an X-men. All of the other X’s are ex-alive. People have continued to be the worst. And big machines are killing cornfields… or something. Anyway, Logan (Wolverine) is still alive and kicking, though he’s not exactly killing like he used to kill. The old murder claws ain’t muderin’ like they used to. He’s also got Professor X to take care of, mortgage payments to make, and the kids college fund to think of… well that first one anyway.

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So many claws… so little human-claw repositories.

 

Introduced into this unfortunateness is a wee baby girl child who also has a penchant for murdering people with claws and is on the run from some people who really wish he would stab stabbing them specifically. Logan, baby child, and Professor X must embark on a cross country road trip to find some other children, and cause just ALL the collateral damage.

The Positives:

All right, let’s cover the obvious and most important parts: Hugh Jackman and Patrick Stewart are fantastic. Jackman especially as he is (obviously) the main protagonist here, but both actors get to flex their significant acting muscles and in a movie that definitely lives or dies on their performances, they do an incredible job of carrying it through. The rest of the cast also does admirably well, but this is clearly Hugh Jackman’s show and he does not disappoint.

The action is very good here, with well choreagraphed fight scenes and some super well done claw work with young Wolverina. The last X-men movie (apocalypse) just featured a lot of quick camera cuts and people staring at things, so it was nice to get some good old fashioned claw cuts and some actual combat in one of these X-movies.

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Logan: Legendary Stomper of Puddles

 

The script is solid and the story is well told. It doesn’t exactly go above and beyond with plot twists or great lines of dialogue but it does a good job of staying within’ itself and that’s something to be commended for.

The Negatrons:

Not really a lot to talk about here though I will say the movie was VERY predictable. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and I’m not even talking about the big spoilers that everyone who knows anything about this movie knows, I’m talking about the little things that the movie could have done to mix it up that it didn’t do. It sets itself up for a couple ‘big reveals’ or ‘isn’t THIS cool’ moments all of which are very clearly telegraphed. This isn’t a huge problem by any means but it represents some missed opportunities.

The villain here wasn’t very interesting but honestly I REALLY hesitated to even mention it because the movie doesn’t really need or have time for a good villain. I prefer this method of focused storytelling over the current trend of spending twenty minutes “establishing the villain” only to have none of that work and the villain to be at best un-justified, and at worst boring and un-justified (glares at X-men Apocalypse again.) It merits a VERY slight mention, but it really didn’t negatively affect the movie much at all.

In Conclusion:

Logan is a tight, well told, brilliantly acted movie that does exactly what it sets out to do in giving one of the most consistently beloved comic book characters (and actors) a VERY fitting send off. It sacrifices a little bit in terms of villain and twists to be such a tight story, but I found it to be an incredibly gratifying experience and just a great send-off for Hugh Jackmen and Wolverine.

I give it 4 Wolverina’s, out of 5.

Recently I learned that Sir Ian Mckellen and Sir Patrick Stewart will be on stage in London together. Aside from the desperate theft I resorted to as I attempted to get tickets to this event and my moderately unsuccessful bid to convince various members of Theater Security that I was the Queen Mother of England this news set me to thinking…. thinking thoughts… of thoughtness.

And as I thought I thought to myself “How much would… could a wood duck duck… if a wood duck would duck wood?” And after I was finished being thoroughly impressed with myself I thought “I wonder which actors today will be the awesome old guys of the future…” Thusly I devised the following list.

The Current and the Future of Awesome Old People.

Believe it or not this list was surprisingly hard to compose… I mean think about this for a little bit. Aside from one that was painfully obvious I nearly succeeded in stumping myself. But I like the stumpmaster that I am have prevailed and now present this list of four men.

The Current: Michael Caine.

"Sir I've put some extra awesome in your tea. Cause I'm Michael Caine!"

Michael Caine is one of the most underrated brilliant old people in the business. You know his as Alfred, Batman’s butler in the new Batman series and while Caine is absolutely brilliant in that movie he has a lot more acting depth then just that. Watch Harry Brown sometime and be blown away!! (Lots of cussing in that movie… just so you know). Caine is brilliant at the old wise advisor person and will break your heart when he turns it on!

Next in line…

Kenneth Branaugh-

Probably the least well known actor on this list Branaugh will be an absolutely fantastic old person. He hasn’t really headlined a lot of movies to date but he’s starting to get more well known as he heads into the older middle-agededness and I think will slide absolutely perfectly into Michael Caine’s well worn butler shoes. The big question I’m asking I suppose throughout this is “Could Actor A play Old Man B’s character?” The answer here being absolutely yes. Branaugh would nail the old wise Butler role! So there you go.

And moving on to…

The Current: Morgan Freemen.

Morgan Freemen: So much hair. So much cool.

Oh Morgan Freemen. Ironically he’s also attached to the Batman series but that’s hardly his most iconic role… in fact it’s really hard to nail down Morgan’s most iconic role…  Hmmm… yeah no idea. Anyway Morgan Freeman has been the aged awesome African Amercan guy in more movies then I care to think about! So who is the natural descendant to the curly half afroed sweetness that is Morgan Freemen? How about…

Next in line:

Either Denzel Washington or Don Cheadle…

A toss up for me between these two… Sure Denzel is more famous now and honestly looks UNCANNILY similar to Freeman but Don Cheadle is one of the most grossly unappreciated actors in the business and as he gets older more and more people are going to realize this. Just cause your successful now doesn’t mean you will be later. I mean neither Freemen nor Caine were super renowned when they were young actors either. So which one of these guys will rise to prominence in twenty years? I have no idea but the crown can only go to one!! So I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what happens.

And then we have: Sean Connery.

Sean Connery: The coolest man ever to wear a kilt.

No longer in the business but still one of film’s greatest icons Sean Connery and his silky smooth Scottish accents were some of the coolest things ever to grace any screen ever in the world. Then Sean got old and perfectly adapted into the tough awesome old guy who alternately scared the ever loving kidney out of you, and made you want to weep openly.

And this mantle will be taken by…

Sean Bean!! Yes ladies and gentleman everyone’s favorite guy with a million arrows in him! He’s got the big action hero look to him and even the awesome facial hair factor. His biggest problem will be acquiring a silky smooth Scottish accent and finding a place to get a decent kilt, but give Sean Bean twenty years or so and he’ll have all sorts of kidney removing awesome.

And moving on to: Patrick Stewart.

That's SIR Patrick Stewart thank you very much.

Honestly this might be the single hardest choice in here. Stewart not only has a Shakespeare career with more plays listed on it then there are weird unnecessary stares in a Twilight movie, but he’s also done some great work in the Sci-fi community with major roles in Star Trek and X-men. So who could possibly take a mantle so large??

How about…

Daniel Craig… Nope wait hang on… holy cow I have it!!! After hours and hours of deliberation and thought I have decided to cast of Daniel Craig (who originally had this part knotted up) and instead give my award to the only person it could ever be given to. A man destined to take the helm of so great a baldness. A man who not only has made great contributions to stage AND sci-fi but also a man with an epically awesome voice. And that man is:

So cool not even I saw him coming.

Hugo Weaving!! WHAT!!!! Yes. Sir. Win. For. Me. This is the pick I am the second most proud of (my next one is epic) and also gets bonus points for being inspiration sent from the very heavens. Weaving’s voice is EPIC! His acting is amazing and he could easily slide in to either of Stewart’s most iconic roles. Pardon me as I go and find someone’s whose not using their arm so I can give myself a pat on the back…

And we’re back. And yes that was just as creepy as it sounded.

 And finally: Ian McKellan.

Great man! Weird teeth... and tie...

Probably the most iconic awesome old person in the business McKellan (like Stewart) has an epic pedigree of Shakespeare awesomeness and significant contributions in the sci-fi/fantasy world with both Lord of the Rings and X-men. So who could possibly replace such an iconic person? Who could be my favorite pick on this entire list?!?!

The answer…

Liam Neeson!!

Suddenly twenty years from now is looking pretty awesome.

Yep. Favorite pick and most obvious guarantee to continue to be amazing for many more years! I mean if you had to re-do Lord of the Rings twenty years from now who would you pick besides Liam Neeson? No one. Can’t you picture Liam Neeson standing on a bridge yelling “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!” I know I can and I may never walk across a bridge again.

So there you have it my top 5 old but awesome actors and my top 5 people to replace them!! Got anyone better or anyone I forgot?? Let me know!!  Thanks so much for reading and I’ll see you next week!