Posts Tagged ‘Hugh Jackman’

Well hey Internet, and welcome to the jam. A jam that can be (though is not required to be) followed by a slam.

Yeah, I don’t really have an intro on this one guys, let’s just dive straight into that good jelly jam shall we?

Micah Reviews: Logan


Logan: The best beard of 2017.


The X-men Franchise is rife with hits and misses, highs and lows, awesome mutants, and mutants whose superpowers involve having spiky faces… for some reason. Even the Wolverine specific movies have one really good one, and one VERY bad one. It’s a game of Russian roulette, except the gun is half filled with bullets and instead of losers getting the sweet embrace of death they have to suffer through 2 hours of vague powers and bad dialogue. So where will Logan fall? When will Logan rise? Can you name your future children Logan without people thinking you’re pretentious?? (No.)

The Plot:

So it’s not a great time to be alive if you’re an X-men. All of the other X’s are ex-alive. People have continued to be the worst. And big machines are killing cornfields… or something. Anyway, Logan (Wolverine) is still alive and kicking, though he’s not exactly killing like he used to kill. The old murder claws ain’t muderin’ like they used to. He’s also got Professor X to take care of, mortgage payments to make, and the kids college fund to think of… well that first one anyway.


So many claws… so little human-claw repositories.


Introduced into this unfortunateness is a wee baby girl child who also has a penchant for murdering people with claws and is on the run from some people who really wish he would stab stabbing them specifically. Logan, baby child, and Professor X must embark on a cross country road trip to find some other children, and cause just ALL the collateral damage.

The Positives:

All right, let’s cover the obvious and most important parts: Hugh Jackman and Patrick Stewart are fantastic. Jackman especially as he is (obviously) the main protagonist here, but both actors get to flex their significant acting muscles and in a movie that definitely lives or dies on their performances, they do an incredible job of carrying it through. The rest of the cast also does admirably well, but this is clearly Hugh Jackman’s show and he does not disappoint.

The action is very good here, with well choreagraphed fight scenes and some super well done claw work with young Wolverina. The last X-men movie (apocalypse) just featured a lot of quick camera cuts and people staring at things, so it was nice to get some good old fashioned claw cuts and some actual combat in one of these X-movies.


Logan: Legendary Stomper of Puddles


The script is solid and the story is well told. It doesn’t exactly go above and beyond with plot twists or great lines of dialogue but it does a good job of staying within’ itself and that’s something to be commended for.

The Negatrons:

Not really a lot to talk about here though I will say the movie was VERY predictable. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and I’m not even talking about the big spoilers that everyone who knows anything about this movie knows, I’m talking about the little things that the movie could have done to mix it up that it didn’t do. It sets itself up for a couple ‘big reveals’ or ‘isn’t THIS cool’ moments all of which are very clearly telegraphed. This isn’t a huge problem by any means but it represents some missed opportunities.

The villain here wasn’t very interesting but honestly I REALLY hesitated to even mention it because the movie doesn’t really need or have time for a good villain. I prefer this method of focused storytelling over the current trend of spending twenty minutes “establishing the villain” only to have none of that work and the villain to be at best un-justified, and at worst boring and un-justified (glares at X-men Apocalypse again.) It merits a VERY slight mention, but it really didn’t negatively affect the movie much at all.

In Conclusion:

Logan is a tight, well told, brilliantly acted movie that does exactly what it sets out to do in giving one of the most consistently beloved comic book characters (and actors) a VERY fitting send off. It sacrifices a little bit in terms of villain and twists to be such a tight story, but I found it to be an incredibly gratifying experience and just a great send-off for Hugh Jackmen and Wolverine.

I give it 4 Wolverina’s, out of 5.

Internet, happy Tuesday and welcome to another exciting, exsanguinated, and extraterrestrial extdition of weekly headlines. The segment so hilariously misnamed, it’s passed the point where it was funny, and has just become sad. Heck, I may have made this exact same joke the last time we did weekly headlines, you don’t know. I don’t even know. It’s lost forever. There is literally no conceivable way that it can be located, everyone knows the Internet is a place where things are constantly lost forever, never to be heard from again.

Weekly Headlines 2-16-16

Predator (the Reboot… again) released its first promo image. Look, I have kind of enjoyed the Predator movies, they’re a fun monster franchise (except for when they hang out with those Alien kids from down the road.) But I thought the Adrian Brody re-boot was actually pretty good, so whatever. Bring on another Predator movie, maybe the people from Alien will watch it and learn that the most important part of a monster franchise is actually showing the MONSTER!!


Somewhere the makers of Prometheus are going: “Ohh… so you mean people like the Alien part??”


Alice Through the Looking Glass continues to release promo material. It’s weird guys. I (huge Alice in Wonderland fan) am not at all excited about the movie. The plot looks thin/non-existent, and the characters and actors all look tired and played out. But it’s Allan Rickman guys… and I already miss him.

After spending the entire Spectre promotional tour talking about how much he wanted to stop being James Bond, Daniel Craig in a shocking twist of twistification: has probably decided to step away from being James Bond. In other news: skies are blue, cars are going, and Amanda Seyfried is in terrible movies.


Every fiber of his body wants to just get into that car and drive away… forever.


In Box Office news, Deadpool was the top movie this week breaking the record for a President’s day weekend movie release. It also broke the record for most people not really understanding how R ratings work.

The X-Files is coming up to its Finale after a gripping season, which very VERY few people actually watched. It’s a perfect example of a show that came back, that probably shouldn’t have, and didn’t really do much to update the formula. It was exactly like it was when it went off the air, and in this case that’s not a good thing. There’s buying a vintage car in perfect condition style and then there’s finding a werthers under your grandma’s old chair. Sure, they’re both technically classics, but one of them is not timeless.

Daredevil Season 2 released its first trailer this week! Looks good! I mean, I enjoyed season 1, I thought Jessica Jones was better but both shows suffered from being a few episodes longer than they should have been. Granted more Daredevil means more shots of this whiny, terrible face so… Yay?


Please… just please go away.


Eddie the Eagle released its first trailer and… I don’t know… how freekin’ inspired were you?? I was inspired to go find a van, strap myself to it, and have Hugh Jackman yell at me. Granted, this is not the first time that has happened to me. It will also, not be the last.


Aw, thanks Hugh!!


And there you have it guys, the weekly headlines!! Check back Thursday when I (probably) review Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Because Zombies and Matt Smith is a combo I just can’t with good conscience avoid.

Internet!! Good gravity but it’s been a while! Fear not for me nor mine eternal soul for all is well in the realm of Thoughts We Might Have Had. Monday of last week was Labor Day so in an increasingly hilarious turn of events I didn’t do anything that day. Thursday was not labor day and so in keeping with what you would expect me to do on a day that was NOT labor day, I did nothing. See how that all works? But now that I’m back let’s jump straight back into the news with some weekly headlines!

Weekly Headlines 9/9/2013

Taking the top spot in the box office this week was “Riddick” a movie about Vin Diesel trying to be as growly and awesome as possible while a lot of really bad actors get murdered by Riddick himself, aliens, and any vaguely sharpened object.

The National Football League started play this week prompting millions and millions of people to sit on a couch, eat potato chips, and describe in great detail how they could easily do what the highly payed, expertly trained, testosterone laden professional athletes are doing.

The Robocop re-boot released a new trailer this week, assuring audiences that the original movies already predictable plot will be even more predictable. That’s right folks watching Robocop is like punching yourself in the face as a child, waiting a decade or so, and then punching your face again just to see if anything has changed.

The month of November continued to taunt us all with its good movies and exciting premises as we all continued to sit through the month of September talking about Vin Diesel and anxiously looking forward to a movie about intelligent fruit. Oh cruel November, come quickly.

In the world of Video Games I’ve recently started playing a lot of Borderlands 2. The side effect of this being that I’ve started looking inside of every fridge, toilet, and un-nailed down house pet for guns. It begins to weary my wife.

In direct opposition to that thing I wrote roughly five paragraphs ago “Gravity” a movie starring George Clooney, Sandra Bullock, and the whole of space actually looks like it could be pretty good. If nothing else unlike most of the other movies coming out in the next month or so at least it seems like at some point in the movies early stages someone said to someone else “So what would be an intelligent premise for a movie?”

"So now that we've all been stranded in space... can we talk about my emotions?"

“So now that we’ve all been stranded in space… can we talk about my emotions?”

Hugh Jackman (he of the sweet Wolverine claws of sweetness) recently said that audiences should be excited about next year’s confusingly named “X-men: Days of Future Past” because it was “basically three movies in one”… you realize Hugh that that’s not like… a good thing?  A good thing would be if it were “one really good movie in one.” I’m not saying that just because the movie has a cast of people roughly the equivalent of animals on Noah’s ark that it won’t have time to tell a story but—no wait that’s exactly what I’m saying.

The Wizard of Oz 3D comes out soon, just going to show that there’s nothing so sacred to Hollywood that they won’t slap some ill-conceived effects on it and parade it out in front of audiences in the names of making 10 dollars. This is like taking an old dog gluing a fish to him and then asking him to walk on a tight rope across the Grand Canyon. Not only is it a bad idea, it just doesn’t make a lot of sense to go watch it.

We're off to see the Wizard, the Wizard of Oz in 3D!

We’re off to see the Wizard, the Wizard of Oz in 3D!

So there you have it guys. I’m back, check back Thursday for another gripping post on the happenings inside of my brain. Thank you, Internet, and good night.

So I must start this post with a sincere apology to you Jed McGrew. And to any other random McGrews, McGoos, or Cesspools who happen to read this site. Monday was a crazy day and my awesome wife took me on a surprise trip to Charlotte last weekend and thus I had far FAR greater things to do then write a blog for you McGrew people. Anyway though, here I am sage and sound and ready to do that thing I said I was going to do. That thing called:

 Micah Reviews: The Wolverine

Wolverine takes six pack abs to a whole new level.

Wolverine takes six pack abs to a whole new level.

We all know my affinity for Wolverine. I mean when my second grade English teacher (Mrs. Rathbun) asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I said “Wolverine.” For career day that year I wanted to go dressed as Wolverine but my mom wouldn’t have any of that and made me go as my second greatest career goal: Les Miserables’ Jon Val Jon.

Ha ha: no. I went as a baseball player or (as I told myself and all my friends) Wolverine disguised as a baseball player.

All that to say, I like Wolverine. I was excited about a Wolverine movie telling the story of an absolutely iconic Wolverine comic book series! So did it live up to the hype? Could this Wolverine be half as awesome as my cleverly disguised baseball player Wolverine?? Of course not. But I watched the movie anyway.

The Plot:

After “X3: We’ve Officially Run Out of Ideas,” Wolverine seems to have fallen on hard times. He sleeps in the woods, his best friend is a bear, and he has a recurring nightmare that involves him stabbing his former lady love. Which sounds a lot like my jr. high hiking camp now that I think about it… except, ya know, for the stabby thing.

Anyway, one dark and stormy night he is tracked down by some random Japanese girl named Kokomo (not her real name) and she wants to get there fast and then take it slow.

Wait, what?

Oh… sorry. Her name is Yukio and she wants to take Wolverine to meet with her employer who happens to be some guy that Wolverine knew in World War 2 (I should mention for the uninitiated that Wolverine doesn’t age and heals from any wound, in case you have somehow avoided seeing any of the promotional material for this or any other X-men movie.)

Shortly after Wolverine’s arrival his friend (Mr. Yomamoto) enters him in a karate contest and– hang on.

Shorty after Wolverine’s arrival his friend (Mr. Yashida) passes away from some horrible disease that we’re never told what it is. But just as Wolverine is about to go back to his mountain and chill with his bear friend and ghost girl (great name for one of those cutesy indie bands there, right? “Bear friend and Ghost girl” I’d buy that CD) someone attacks Mr. Yashida’s daughter and Wolverine and her beat a hasty retreat into the Japanese countryside.

Can Wolverine get to the bottom of these attacks? Will he ever be able to cope with his own gift of immortality? And why is his trusty healing factor not so trusty anymore?

The Pros:

Hugh Jackman basically IS Wolverine at this point. In my Iron Man 3 review I talked about how Robert Downey Jr is one of the few actors playing a character that only he could play in Tony Stark. Hugh Jackman is one of the other few actors with his portrayal of Wolverine. Jackman nails every bit of his performance and while Wolverine will (by virtue of who he is) never be an incredibly deep or verbose character he’ll always be worth watching as long as he’s in the capable claws of Hugh Jackman.  

The first two thirds of the movie is really well put together and paced. You care about what’s going on with Wolverine and even though I didn’t really care that much for the worthless, winy, poorly written girl he was traveling with the story between the two of them was well worth seeing.

Bullet train fight. Nuff said.

The Cons:

The woman who plays “The Viper” villain lady is face-punchingly bad. It’s like her motivation behind her every line is to be as un-subtle as possible. She can’t say “pass me the sugar” at lunch without feeling the need to cackle evilly and murder somebody with her spit.

The movie seems to lose some of it’s steam going into the last thirty minutes or so of the movie. After crafting a good narrative with believable characters and even a cool come back for Wolverine in a sweet dojo fight, the movie takes a nosedive into Ridiculousville as Wolverine makes some hilariously poor tactical decisions and then fights a giant robot. 

Hilariously poor tactical decision: “It’s a trap!” “I know, I’m going anyway” “Okay well at least since you know it’s a trap maybe you should come at them in a way they wouldn’t expect you to do if you didn’t know it was a trap.” “Nah, I’ll just walk right up to them like I don’t know it’s a trap even though I do know it’s a trap!!” “Umm… okay…”

And I’m not even talking about the whole “Wolverine walks away from a fight when he could easily win said fight so that he can get captured by Ninja’s who couldn’t have captured him otherwise” thing.

WAY to much Famke Janssen in this movie. Famke played Jean Grey in the other X-men movies and got increasingly more and more annoying as those movies went on (culmination in a hilariously awful performance in X3 that ruined the movie, her character, and several innocent broccoli’s.) She comes back in this movie and seems to be popping up around every corner to whisper haunting things at Wolverine about Death or taking out the trash or some other naggy wife typed things. I mean no wonder Wolverine is depressed, everytime he goes to sleep he’s got some dead red head passive aggressively kissing him. I’d probably go live on a mountain too.

And finally: Wolverine totally should have dated the hot red headed chick who was both more attractive AND dramatically more useful then the other girl. Dramatically.

In Conclusion:

I enjoyed The Wolverine. It lost some of it’s punch with a weak closing act but on the whole I still enjoyed the experience and would recommend it highly to any fans of the X-men world. Hugh Jackmen is a joy to watch and the story (for the most part) is tight and well told.

I give it three Wolverine claws, out of 5!!

Yes Wolverine, that many.

Yes Wolverine, that many.

Also: if you haven’t checked out my Kickstarter page please do so now!! LINK!!!