Posts Tagged ‘Gilmore Girls’

Well hey Internet, happy Friday, and all that weekend stuff. So after Wednesday’s triumphant triumph, in which I definitely solved all of DC’s problems forever. I thought I’d take a post just to look around at the movie landscape and see what other problems I could solve, what other rights I could wrong, what vague references to candy products I could make!

Weekly Headlines: 4/8/2016

So probably the biggest movie news of the week was the new Star Wars Rogue One trailer. To sum it up: It’s pretty sweet. I mean it’s not as awesome as the first Force Awakens trailer but it looks really good! Like the new heroine interesting appearance by Mon Mothma (if you don’t know who Mon Mothma is then congratulations: you are not a Star Wars nerd. Enjoy that whole, real life thing.) I’m not sure how I feel about that old man taking out Stormtroopers with a stick… they’re in armor right??? If you hit a stormtrooper with a stick that doesn’t… work, right?? Anyway, other than that I thought it looked great. Love a more, boots on the ground, Star Wars story. I think it’ll give us a cool look at Star Wars outside of the 6 characters we’ve been following around the galaxy for the last thirty years. JJ Abrams brought the Star Wars Franchise back, but this is the first real entirely new Star Wars concept and I’m all in after the trailer. Though I was disappointed that Wash (Alan Tudyk) didn’t make an appearance, though apparently he’s doing motion capture for a droid, which I did find dissapointing.

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One of the bigger questions is: who’s this guy? And why is he staring at that giant frozen Capri Sun?

Melissa McCarthy is coming back to Gilmore Girls. Yay. Be excited Stars Hollow people, this is good because Melissa McCarthy is an important part of the Gilmore Girls… girliverse?? And because it was gonna be real awkward to have her character constantly “in the other room” or “She just went to pick up the kids” or “something something probably coffee.”

Charlize Theron just signed on to play the main villain in Fast 8. The latest entry in the “how many weird ways can we use the words on The Fast and Furious” series. I mean we had Furious 7, now we’ve got Fast 8. What’s after this?? “The 9??” TFF9??? Still though, Theron will be fine. If nothing else Fast and Furious has proven it can have actors growl lines about “The street” convincingly. Maybe something about “It’s all about family” while sipping on a “Corona” driving a “chevy” and cashing their “promotional checks.”

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Fast 8: Cause someone, somewhere is still watching these.

Jungle Book: Origins has been pushed back again, this time all the way back to 2018. This Jungle Book not to be confused with the one that comes out next week, is directed by Andy “The Gollum” Serkis. This might be a reaction to the VERY positive early reviews from Disney’s Jungle Book, which (according to critics) “Is a movie, about a Jungle, but (in a shocking and unexpected twist) doesn’t actually feature any books.”

Batman V Superman: Dawn of Nerd Whining dropped more than one hundred million dollars between its first week and its second week while remaining the top movie at the box office. Expect another drop this week, but also expect it to stay atop the box office for another week. It’s biggest competition this week is gonna be umm… The Boss, I guess? A comedy starring the aforementioned Melissa McCarthy and featuring virtually no actual comedy, but only a tofu comedy-like substance.

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On the wall behind the painting, is another painting of another Melissa McCarthy. It’s Melissa McCarthy Inception: Melception.

That said, expect Jungle Book to come out next week and wipe the floor with BvS’s narratively confused corpse. Early reviews have been great and after two weeks with nothing to see but two superheroes growling about how much it sucks to be a superhero, people will flock to a movie that features likeable characters, a sensical story, and the one thing that Batman V Superman lacked the most: a giant monkey with the voice of Christopher Walken. Which (if you think about it) is what we’ve all been missing. All our lives.

Thank you Christopher, and goodnight.

Well hey guys and welcome back to what will (hopefully) be the last week of our extreme lack of good movie-age. That’s right folks Dracula Untold looms on the horizon. Gone Girl opens in a few days, Left Behind will be terrible. September is nearly over, and good movies will be back soon! And so let us spend these last few days continuing to try desperately to distract ourselves from the futility of life, and the loneliness rooted in our hearts like a bunch of monkeys made of depression and onion dip, by talking about Netflix.

Coming to Netflix: October
(AKA: A Review of Gilmore Girls and then some other stuff)

Of course the big news for Netflix is that they have Gilmore Girls. And ya know what guys?? You could spend your time worse ways. I’m not saying it’s Firefly or the West Wing or anything but if you’re looking for a nice way to waste a few hours and make your girlfriend/wife/significant other typed person SUPER happy, this is the way to do it. Gilmore girls is (at its core) a show aimed at women, that said the writing is really good, and very funny. I have watched most of the episodes of this show and while I never got super caught up in the “but who will she marry” or “but will they ever be friends again” I did get caught up in the overall humor and the incredible addiction to coffee. So win there.

So many coffee jokes guys. So many wonderful coffee jokes.

So much coffee. So much wonderful coffee. 

The basic plot of the Gilmore girls (that “g” is little. I promise. Look it up.) revolves around the adventures of Lorelai (which is the hardest name to spell ever) and Rory (which is awesome and small… kind of like Rory.) Anyway, they have all sorts of weird hijinks involving men and the guy from Supernatural and coffee and… probably… other stuff. Let us remember I don’t really follow the plot of Gilmore girls, I (like may before me) am purely here for the laughs and 90’s references. Quite down. Yes, Lorelie and that dude from the Diner should have gotten married, and yes Jess was an obnoxious idiot who I hated but I was just there for the jokes guys. I swear.

Arrow Season 2 

If you liked Arrow Season 1 (which was admittedly not the BEST show on television) you will LOVE  Arrow Season 2. Season 1 got better as it went and was always dragged down by its awkward, clunky love triangle. Season 2 takes the show in a new much better direction though and (speaking of Firefly) Summer Glau makes some guest appearances!! It’s a really well done season that manages to build on what they got right in season 1 and add in some exciting new stuff that only makes things better.

Carrie

A run in the mill, unremarkable remake to a movie that didn’t need a remake, Carrie stars Chloe’ Moretz and Julianne Moore neither of whom really get very well utilized in what is a decidedly mediocre romp through a classic Stephen King book.

Romeo + Juliet

If you gave Shakespeare red bull,  five pounds of Sugar, and then hit him in the face with a rubber chicken you would get Romeo + Juliet. Frankly, this is not a great movie. Claire Danes (who plays Juliet) is very good but Decaprio’s Romeo is bland and the rest of the cast is bland and the movies tone is all over the place and makes for a very disjointed viewing experience.

Annie

Yup, the original Annie. Red curly hair, Carol Burnett, hard knock life. All that jazz.  As a random trivia fact did you know that Tim Curry is in this movie??? Yup. It’s a classic, ya can’t deny it. You can’t escape from it.

Hello, Tim. I want your hat.

Hello, Tim. I want your hat.

The Boxcar Children

Yeah, someone made a boxcar children movie. I mean it’s animated and stars no one you have ever heard of before but still. It’s the Boxcar Children! I read a Boxcar childrens book once, but it was boring and immaterial and no one got murdered or had lightsabers so I moved on.

Django Unchained

If you like Tarrantino movies you will like this Tarrantino movie, that said it’s nothing awesome. It’s typical Tarrantino runny and shooty and deathy and bloody but honestly there’s not a lot to be said for it beyond that.

Sleepless in Seattle

Cower in fear mankind. Your women can now watch Sleepless in Seattle whenever they want. Your life will never EVER be the same again.

This is your life now. Pensive Meg Ryan. Give into it.

This is your life now. Pensive Meg Ryan. Give into it.

So there you go guys! That’s the party that’s happening on Netflix this month. Wave at your local movie theater everyone, tell it you’ll be back soon!!