Posts Tagged ‘Edge of Tomorrow’

Internet!! Sorry about yesterday… I… I have no excuse. Well to be honest I have several excuses but they are (to be frank) pretty lame. Like your face. BURN!!!! And speaking of burns it’s now time for everyone’s favorite part of the end of the summer. An awards show that features comedy, hilarity, intelligence, and very very few actual awards!!

Micah’s Summer Movie Awards 2014 

Most Rheumatoid Arthritis – Expendables 3

See, at the beginning of the Expendables movies they were kind of this cute little thing. Like all the people in  a nursing home getting together in the front yard and playing a really aggressive game of croquet… with guns. But at this point it’s kind of just depressing, you can’t shake the feeling that somewhere someone is just trying to get Sylvester Stallone to sit down for a nice cup of tea and a nap but he just keeps wandering off with his friends to play in the jungle. Poor guy.

 Most fails by the military – Godzilla

Godzilla was basically a long series of the military (US and otherwise) failing to do things. Failing to blow up a monster, failing to contain a monster, failing to move a bomb, failing to notice that a huge monster had DESTROYED THE BACK HALF OF A MOUNTAIN!!! And then Godzilla killed some stuff.  With fire. From his face.

Sure it looks impressive, but this whole thing is made of silly string and used putty.

Sure it looks impressive, but this whole thing is made of silly string and used putty.

Best Thumb Drive – Lucy

A thumb drive that was somehow also Scarlet Johanssen. I can think of about a million nerds who would literally give limbs to possess that drive.  For mere seconds.

Most Unnecessary Sequel – Transformers: Age of Extinction

As usual for the last few summers the competition for this category was stiff. With such great contestants as Think Like a Man Too, Rio 2, Expendables 3, The Purge: Anarchy, Planes: Fire & Rescue,  and of course Step Up: All In. But none of those movies could hold a candle to the huge pile of unnecessary movie-ness that was Transformers. Michael Bay took a widely criticized film franchise with utterly forgettable characters, indistinguishable robots, and a plot so thin that Miley Cyrus thought it was too revealing and decided that the best way to fix it was to change the forgettable characters with even more forgettable characters. This movie served no purpose. None. And yet (for some reason) people watched it. And that makes me sad.

Most Muscles – Hercules

Say what you want about Hercules’ bland storyline, so-so acting, and overall kind of suckiness but the Rock is a large large person… With a lion on his head.

Lion hats: because why not look like you're being eaten by a lion, all the time?

Lion hats: because why not look like you’re being eaten by a lion, all the time?

Movie no one cared about – Earth to Echo

I literally think that NO ONE watched this. Like not even the people in the movie. I think they took pictures at the premier and then went to a different movie. A better movie. Practically any movie.

Movie Least Like the Book – The Giver

If you’re ever super bored go find a big fan of The Giver and ask them what they thought of the movie. It’s hilarious. In a sad way.

Best Kids Movie – How to Train Your Dragon 2

For those of you already complaining The Lego Movie did NOT come out this summer. Calm down. Everything is Still Awesome… or whatever you people say. How to Train Your Dragon 2 managed to accomplish something so very rarely done with sequels, they paid homage to the first one, kept the feel of the world, and then expanded on those things and believably moved their characters forward. So parents, bring your kids. Watch this thing. And then put your kids to bed. And shut them up. Ha ha I’m kidding… Seriously though.

Biggest Pleasant Surprise – Edge of Tomorrow

A super good Tom Cruise movie. Yup… I typed that. It was great. You should watch it. Tom Cruise is in it. A lot. I think I may be ill.

Biggest Unpleasant Surprise – Umm… Maleficent??

This was a tough category not because there weren’t bad movies. There were A LOT of bad movies, but I knew they were going to be bad. Transformers, Ninja Turtles, Get on Up, Tammy. These were all bad. But they were all predictably bad. Even Lucy I wasn’t completely sold on. The only movie that I legitimately thought was gonna be great that turned out to be bad was Maleficent. I didn’t necessarily hate maleficent but it also was not great. And thus I was unpleasantly surprised.

Movie of the Summer – Guardians of the Galaxy

Okay, there were some genuinely great movies this summer. But this was not even close. Guardians of the Galaxy is pretty much the perfect summer movie. Heartfelt, hilarious, dance-offs. Everything you could want. Ever. It was an awesome, gutsy move by Marvel and it paid off big time. Groot forever.

So, there you go guys, another year, another bunch of awards no one cares about.

Well hey Internet, happy Monday after a three day weekend! Ha ha… yeah, that’s not possible. Seriously though, I do have some moderately good news that will make your day somewhat slightly almost kind of a little bit slightly but not at all markedly better!!! Woot.

So this weekend I found myself in the mood to watch a movie (which I do pretty much all the time) and so my wife and I wandered off to the theater to watch Transformers!!! Ha ha. No. I would rather pay ten dollars to watch an hour and a half worth of the teletubbies.

Transformers: like Teletubbies but with a less sophisticated storyline.

Transformers: like Teletubbies but with a less sophisticated storyline.

Instead we watched…

Edge of Tomorrow

A movie that, from the trailers, I’m pretty sure is about… some sort of war… thing… and a gun… with a suit. That’s it. Regardless though Tom Cruise seemed to be on (dare I say it) a roll. I am as avid a Tom Cruise hater as anyone but look at the guys last four movies: Oblivion (great sci-fi film) Jack Reacher (under rated action movie) and Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol (slightly over rated spy-movie.) If you throw out Rock of Ages (incredibly unfortunate choice to sing and act a lot like Tom Cruise probably actually acts in real life) Tom Cruise has been on a roll since 2010!! So, is Edge of Tomorrow another step in the right direction for tiny Tom? Or will he finally step off the role and fall down ye olde rabbit hole?

The Plot: Full disclosure? I have no idea what the title of this movie has to do with this movie. At no point does tomorrow seem particularly edgy… at all. But anyway, Bill Cage (not to be confused with Nic Cage) starts off the movie as an average PR guy doing PR things. He talks about “army” and “punchy stuff” and “stabby things” but doesn’t actually do much of anything. But then he gets drafted into the actual military and launched onto the front lines of humanities battle against the evil aliens known as Mimics… for reasons that are never entirely clear.

Unless this thing is somehow mimic-ing a post modern statue and an octopus I don't think the name makes a lot of sense.

Unless this thing is somehow mimic-ing a post modern statue and an octopus I don’t think the name makes a lot of sense.

I don’t want to spoil too much plot here but in the course of the battle Bill gets some alien mimic-juice on his bad self and gains the ability to jump back in time (but only when murdered) so now he must work to destroy the alien menace one day at a time (over and over and over.)

The Positrons:

An awesome job is done with the storyline here.  It’s easy to get lost in a time travel storyline but Edge of Tomorrow clearly establishes the rules of its world and lets you just enjoy the way it goes about living within those rules. Cage and Rita (Emily Blunt’s warrior woman of awesomeness) have a great relationship and it’s fun to watch them get to know each other in their own weird way (time travel will really mess up your dating life.)

 

No seriously I totally bought you an engagement ring... it was HUGE.

No seriously I totally bought you an engagement ring… it was HUGE.

The visuals are very nicely done, the alien Mimics have a cool quality to them and the fight scenes are very nicely choreographed with an emphasis on Cages ability to “see the future” through his past lives that adds some extra flair.

A very solid cast led by Cruise and Blunt fill out the movie very nicely. Brendan Gleeson and Bill Paxton turn in some great performances as military officers and the whole cast really holds up very nicely.

Just another prop for the overall story and style of the movie. It manages to be surprisingly funny without giving up its believability and that is a TOUGH thing to do with a movie.

The Negatrons:

There are a couple tiny plot holes here or there but honestly anytime you bring time travel into a movie you’re opening up a whole mountains worth of mole hills so just having one or two little moles wandering through the yard is actually pretty good.

Really the only thing that really stops this movie from getting a perfect score here is just that it doesn’t do a ton with the script or storyline as far as great dialogue or big morals. It’s great to watch Cage go from scared PR guy to awesome warrior man but beyond that there isn’t a huge emotional payoff.

In Conclusion:

I was genuinely and pleasantly surprised by Edge of Tomorrow. The story is great, the time travel is well done, and the script is surprisingly funny. It’s everything you could want out of a summer action movie and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that!

I give it 4 unexplained mimicy aliens out of 5.

Internet!! Welcome back to the wonderful world of Summer Questions!! A time to look at our future, ponder where the road ahead will lead us, and then for me to make some weird jokes about it before leaving it alone entirely. Ready. Set. Go.

Question Number 1: What on Earth is “Edge of Tomorrow” actually about?

Edge of Tomorrow is a Tom Cruise movie in which Tom Cruise dies a lot (promising news) and then gets brought back to life the next day and dies again (the party never stops.) It seems that humanity is at war with some sort of time-jumpy aliens or robots or… evil chickens… potentially. And some of that evil chicken time jumping juice got on Tom Cruise and now we’re here. This is the stuff that I know, and as you may have gathered it is not a lot of stuff. The thing is as much as I dislike Tom Cruise (I really do) he’s kind of on a roll right now. I mean: Oblivion, Jack Reacher, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol these were all kind of awesome. So who am I to condemn old Tiny Tom just for being in a movie with a plot that sounds like the most confusing thing since he was singing things in Rock of Ages? This movie could be good!! Chickens could be from the future!! I have no idea what’s going on.

Wait, what chickens??

Wait, what chickens??

Question Number 2: Can “How to Train Your Dragon 2” top the original?

Probably not. It’s been like… seven years since the first How to Train Your Dragon movie and at this point do we really care what’s going on with the Dragon and the little one legged Viking?… Okay well when you put it that way I care a little bit. Curse you adorable one legged viking…

Question Number 3: On a scale of one to stupid how bad will “Transformers: Age of Extinction” be?

Really stupid. I believed for a long time in Transformers cause the first one was so surprisingly good. Even when the second one was terrible and horrible and awful I still thought maybe the third one would be better… and then it was worse… So now Michael Bay has decided to solve the problems from his last movie (those problems being: THE WHOLE FILM) by adding in a whole new cast of horrible characters and Robo Dinosaurs. That’s right, the solution to Bay’s problems of having a world so hilariously unbelievable a small group of soldiers survived the collapse of building while IN THE BUILDING!!! Was to add in robo-dinosaurs.

Question Number 4: How many monkeys does it take to make “Dawn of Planet of the Apes?”

I have no idea what happened to this question. I was writing along and all the sudden everything rhymed and the question didn’t really make a lot of sense. Anyway, the answer to the question is (of course) zero. Zero monkeys. It does however take an awesome performance by Andy Serkis and a potentially awesome performance by Gary Oldman. I was very pleasantly surprised by the first Apes movie and hey I’m always up for a pleasant surprise! Like cookies at midnight, pancakes at first light, and dancing in the moonlight.

"They call me... Mr. Ape."

“They call me… Mr. Ape.”

Question Number 5: Will “Jupiter Ascending” be weird and awesome or just entirely weird?

Jupiter Ascending is the latest movies from the Wachowskis (or however you spell that name) the people behind the original Matrix (great movie) and both the other Matrix’s (mostly terrible movies) also V for Vendetta (yay) and Atlas Rising (boo) all of these movies were very strange. Some were awesome. Some were horrible. All were weird. So the fact that Jupiter Ascending is about some sort of exiled princess being protected by an interstellar space soldier with rocket boots and a light-shield shouldn’t really come as any surprise. It’s gonna be weird and it’s gonna star Channing Tatum whose gravelly brick like face should (and will) remind us all of Keanu Reeves what with its complete lack of expression and all. We’ll just have to see what happens with this one, it could be great it could be terrible. At the moment I am leaning towards it being good but it really could go either way.

Also: elf Channing Tatum.

Also: elf Channing Tatum.

Question Number 6: Can Dwayne Johnson’s “Hercules” be better than “The Legend of Hercules?”

Let’s be clear on one thing: it is practically impossible that this movie is worse than Legend of Hercules. It’s not to say that this particular Hercules will be good, It’s just to say that the last one was really really bad. Wondering if this Hercules will be better than the last one is like wondering if a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich is going to be a better lunch option than the jar of radioactive dirt you had yesterday. If we’ve learned anything about Dwayne the Rock (please don’t call me the Rock) Johnson it’s that he can be relied on to give us a moderately generic somewhat enjoyable action movie. And even by meeting those hilariously un-lofty standards he will kick the butt of all the other Herculi (which I’m pretty sure is the plural of Hercules.)

So there you go guys! More questions, more answers, and more masculine! I’ve still got enough questions for one more of these bad boys so tune on back in next week and we’ll knock those out! Thanks for reading!!