Posts Tagged ‘Dragon Age 3’

Internet!! Good to see you friends, family, interfamily, and other people… It’s been a good week!! A week filled with mayhem, murder, and some wholesale goat slaughter. I am of course referring to: Micah’s Annual Thanksgiving Dinner Extravaganza!! Ha ha no… I’m kidding, there aren’t THAT many dead goats at my dinner parties. I am referring to:

A Day in the Life: Dragon Age: Inquisition

First off props to my wife. I (for the most part) pretend to be a mature position successfully… forty percent of the time. This week it’s been about 1 percent. If that. Maybe .001 percent. So the fact that my wife still lives in the same house as me is a true testament to her greatness.

My adventure began when I adventurously selected to adventure as a Qunaari Warrior. Which is to say I was a huge giant person, wielding a huge giant sword, while having huge giant horns on his head. Which is to say, I made the anti-Micah.

"Helllllllloooooo, ladies."

“Helllllllloooooo, ladies.”

But anyway, apparently there’s a war on in Fereldon (the country my huge giant feet currently tread upon) and there are some angry mages and some angry Templars (who in this world are mage fighters and not, ya know, Nic Cage.) They both get together for some tea and some crumpets and some not-murder when someone comes to the party and blows that party up!! And not like on Twitter,  but like… blown up, explody death. I, however, survive the blown up explody death with nothing to show it but some glitter on my hand!

But it’s not just any glitter, no no no. It’s magical glitter. Glitter with powerful glitter power of power and that power can close the magical demon rifts that have been opening up all over Fereldon with all the speed of the opening of new McDonalds locations. And like McDonalds those little rifts are popping out all sorts of trouble that murders people and makes their cholesterol go through the roof… less so that second thing.

So once we’ve figured out that I hold the glitter-key to Demon-death, they go ahead and put me in charge of “The Inquisition”  because that’s what the game is called. “The Inquisition” is tasked with stopping the demon rifts, finding a way to end the mage/Templar conflict, and making sure all the various cats in the world can has their cheezeburgers. The problem with that is I currently have all the street cred of a male walrus on steroids so I set about trying to make people like me, mostly through the murder of other people… and also goats.

So the thing with the goats was that I came upon this bunch of people and I saved them by cutting some people into tiny fun sized pieces and then they turned around said they were hungry, and cold, and that I had probably gotten blood in their hair or something. So I murdered some goats. With ice  from my ice mage friend. I basically flash froze them into Goat Ramen.

caab10769-bw

Goat, it’s what’s for dinner.

Once I was done with that, I found some crazy people in a temple, and then I found a letter from one dwarf to another drawf telling him where some valuable metal stuff was. This metal stuff is apparently useful for some sort of crafting thing where I can make stuff with which to better hit people, but it’s a great hitting people economy right now. I mean hitting people stock is WAY up and I see no need to try and improve on that.

Then I found what was easily the best thing ever: the buffalo quest. Yup, some dude lost a buffalo. If you can lose a buffalo, you obviously need help. I mean Buffalo are tough to lose, they don’t just decide they want to go drink from another river, Buffalo just want to roam. And play. With deer and antelope. And so I embarked on my greatest adventure, my quest, my search, my advenquerch!! And it will be great.

And that’s about as far as I got. At some point people keep telling me that our army needs horses, or swords, or ya know, men or something. But for the moment I’m still wandering around murdering people and livestock willy nilly and nilly willy… whatever those words mean.

And that’s Dragon Age so far friends. It’s been a wonderful ride, a great run, and I am so very excited to see what happens once I actually start doing the things my friends want me to do!!

And hey if you’ve fallen behind on our Thoughts We Might Have Had video series check out our latest video below.

Hey Internet, and welcome to the first ever Thoughts We Might Have Had all mailbag edition!! You guys have been awesome responding to the new email address (thoughtswemighthavehad@gmail.com) so thanks to all of you here today is our first ever edition of:

Mail We Might Have Got

Kim – Hey Micah, I’m getting my drivers license soon! Any helpful advice to pass the test?

Hi Kim, awesome question, and as you move from not having a license and having to beg for a ride to get around, prepare for the next bold step on this road we call life: having a license and still having to beg for a ride. Cause unless your father is Bill Gates or Sleezy Freddy the Car Dealership man the closest you will get to owning a car for several years will be when your parents make you fill up the gas. Being a teenager with a drivers license is like being a rock with a degree in playing the harp. Sure it’s nice to have but no one will ever be giving you the tools you actually need to do anything with it.

Unless that is (like me) you come from a large family in which case you will be using your license A LOT but never to actually go anywhere that you want to go. You will become a taxi driver but without any of the usual taxi driver benefits such as: being paid  or not having calculus homework. You will instantly become the best option for your siblings to get anywhere so I hope you enjoy soccer practices and Buzz Lightyear birthday parties Kim. You’ll be seeing a lot more of them.

This is your life now, Kim. This is your life.

This is your life now, Kim. This is your life.

As far as passing the actual test goes bear in mind that the person who will be testing you DOESN’T CARE. They don’t want to be your friend or think about your life, that person just wants to walk away from your drivers test with roughly the same amount of limbs that he (or she) had when they arrived. Your biggest obstacle here Kim, is probably nerves so feel free to say “hi” to the person when they get in the car and then just ignore them. Forget they’re there. I’m sure your (mostly) a great driver, who (mostly) won’t get into a fire car crash. Also: No one parallel parks. Ever. So don’t sweat that part. Hit that tire. Defy the Judge person to Judge you on your inability to do something you will never have to do. He might as well not give you your license because you lack the ability to sing all the lyrics to “Shake it Off” as you are hit with a live jackal.

So hang in there Kim, stay calm, do your best, keep your hands on some clocks, and you’ll do great.

Aaron – what video games are you playing right now?

Like right this minute? Or generally? Generally I’m still playing a little bit of Hearthstone though I feel the matchmaker on that game think I’m WAY better at it then I actually am. I also eagerly sit in ancticipation of Dragon Age 3 being released next week. Dragon Age is basically the holy grail of RPG’s for me and while the sequel sucked the third one seems to have gone back to the awesome roots of its founding father. I’m already coming up with unnecessarily complicated backstories for my characters and trying to decide which class I’m playing as first. The anticipation here is ridiculous. I mean, the last time I was this excited for a game it was Mass Effect 3 and that came out while I was in grad school. I had a dorm room to myself back then and I quite literally got the game and then barricaded myself in my room for about 48 hours. Skipped classes, meals, meaningful social interactions, large portions of the thousands of dollars I dropped for my education were metaphorically lit on fire for the pure fact that I had an entire made up galaxy waiting for me save it.

Now I have an entire made up Kingdom being eaten by dragons or bears or… potentially rifts in the space time continuum… or something.  The point is I’m it, and if it takes me gradually bankrupting my house, being absent from my job, and wearing nothing but pajamas for a week then that’s just what I’ll have to do. It’s the responsible thing.

WarTable_WM

Well of course I should go to work. But look at all these made up people who are pretend relying on me! I can’t just abandon them!

And finally:

Daniel – Should I just ask a girl out by saying it, or should I do a whole big thing to ask her out?

Well Daniel, that is a question that has plagued mankind for ages. Years. Centuries. Cavemen sat in caves and wondered quietly to themselves whether they should just grunt at their desired cavewoman or surprise her by hollowing out a mammoth and jumping out of it holding some shrubs and a ticket to Dinky the Dinosaurs Musical Extravaganza.

Unfortunately the answer is mostly “It Depends.” Generally speaking girls are more interested in a guy with confidence, facial hair, and rippling muscles like the rivers of Egypt… but barring those last two go with the confidence thing and just ask her straight up. Eyes locked, chest out, dramatically sweating in ways that she hopefully won’t notice.

Big productions are great and will flatter a girl to her tiny girl soul but honestly it’s not really first date material. If you’re hunting grouse you don’t loudly blow on a horn sing “you belong with me” and then start firing, you just start firing. Once you have the grouse though it’s nice to dress up, and do a little song and dance for it, just to remind that grouse that it’s your favorite grouse of all the grouse in all the world. Also, what’s a grouse? This is offensive isn’t it??

Oh yeah... that's offensive.

Oh yeah… that’s offensive.

And there you have it guys. Our very first ever mail-blog. Thanks reading, thanks for writing and keep those e-mails coming!!

Well hey internet, so as occasionally happens on this site I wander through the annals of my e-mails and the vast untapped tappinghood that is this website and I come across some common themes. This theme on this day is that I never ever write anything for the video game section. Honestly that’s mostly because I just don’t have time to play video games most times and because this is (primarily) a movie site. Regardless though, I feel the need to occasionally scatter some breadcrumbs to you starving gamers out there and herein’ I will answer two of the more common questions I tend to get in relation to video games.

What next gen console are you buying?

Umm… none? At the moment. Here’s the thing Playstation and Xbox (technically Microsoft but whatever) released the PS4 and the Xbox One (technically the Xbox 3 but hey who bothers with numbers and countings and things) night unto a year ago and they STILL haven’t released ANYTHING that makes me think I need one or the other. The exclusive games have been terrible or uninteresting and the few games I AM  interested in this year (more on this later) are coming out on the 360 (which I have which is the older model despite the fact that the new Xbox is called the Xbox One.) For reasons. In addition to that, they keep lowering the prices of the Xbox One and the PS4 because people such as myself are not buying their new counsels because there is NO REASON TOO. Honestly, the next console I buy is probably gonna be a PS3. Those are SUPER cheap… well they’re 100 dollars but comparatively that’s pretty cheap and there are a TON of great games on there that I would like to play just about as much as any games coming out on new consoles anytime this year. But anyway, I’m pretty sure I’ve said something pretty similar to this on here before so any future e-mails regarding this will be responded to with a live angry zombie badger… so I guess maybe a dead angry zombie badger… technically.

What games are you most excited about this year?

I have two. Both of which come out the same day so that’s gonna be a rough month for me financially… but here they are.

Dragon Age 3:

This is a mood ring. And my mood is NOT GOOD!!

This is a mood ring. And my mood is NOT GOOD!!

One of my favorite games of all time was Dragon Age, it was awesome, the world was huge, the characters were interesting and the combat was fun and took a lot of intelligence to do well. Then the second game came out… and it sucked. I mean, in and of itself I guess it wasn’t terrible, but all of the things I loved about the first game were gone. We were stuck inside one tiny city, the characters were essentially just huge incredibly less interesting caricatures of the original cast, and the fighting became a fairly mindless trudge through a bland story.  A perfect example of this is illustrated in one simple illustration in the first game you could choose between 3 different races and about 9 different starting stories for you character to begin on, in the second game you HAD to be a human and pretty much HAD to start from the same place. That’s right: as an idea for their second game the good folks at Dragon Age REMOVED several awesome features. The third game though (from what I’ve seen) looks like it’s going out of its way to attach itself back to the first game. The world is bigger, the story seems more interesting, and (Here’s hoping) they’ll populate the world with more interesting people. If nothing else they’ve brought back the multiple character race choices even (dare we say it) adding NEW ones. That’s right, a sequel to a game that’s adding new things to that game. It’s crazy, but it just might work.

Lord of the Rings: Shadow of Mordor

As has been fairly well established on this site: I am a huge nerd. But there are few things in this world that I am more hugely nerdy about then Lord of the Rings. I have literally read the books DOZENS of times, watched the movies probably dozens of times and I have played some really really terrible Lord of the Rings games. And I have no regrets. Well okay I have a few regrets. The Fellowship of the Rings games left lasting scars on my psyche I still have nightmares about carrying pigs over my head around Hobbiton… literary shudder… Honestly the best Lord of the Rings game ever is still Return of the King and that was released like… a million years ago. But I still own that game and it is still awesome.

Yeah, the electric powers are nice but the static is MURDER on my hair.

Yeah, the electric powers are nice but the static is MURDER on my hair.

So anyway, Shadow of Mordor is a game that takes place between the Hobbit movies (cause believe it or not those do end at some point) and the Lord of the Rings movies. You play as a Ranger who gets murdered but comes back after somehow bonding with a wraith (think Nazgul) and sets about wreaking his vengeance on the wreaking masses of wreaking orcs. This works for me as a premise, it’s new it’s interesting and it sounds like a decent premise for some new interesting gameplay links!

And that’s it. I’m done. Those are the games I’m excited about. So there you go guys a break from the usual movie fare but hey it’s a Friday, I don’t even post on Fridays so consider this a free look at some gaming stuff that I normally wouldn’t ever talk about! Happy weekend everyone!

I post a lot on this blog (in case you hadn’t noticed) if I could sum up the energy for another four or five mouse clicks I would tell you exactly how many posts I’ve done but the ludicrous amount of energy required for such activities makes me want to break out my inner hiberbear and get to sleeping. I’ve posted a lot though so… yeah. Trust me on that one. If you’ve ever bothered to peruse the Categories on the sidebar you may have noticed a growing trend: I post pretty much everything in either Randomnicity or Movie Reviews. They are (for the sake of this illustration) my favorite children. The upstanding comic book loving, baseball playing, model children who get full ride scholarships and appear on national television.

Sports and Video games are (inversely) my red headed step children who sleep out in the snow and… why do we pick on red heads so much anyway? I like red heads. Karen Gillan is a red head and she’s awesome. And hot. Rupert Grint was a red head and he’s– yeah nevermind. But Karen Gillan is a red head.

Sports and Video games are (inversely) my blue headed stepchildren who sleep out in the cold and the snow without shoes or hiberbears. I haven’t posted in the sports column since last baseball season (I think) but I’ve also published a couple sports related podcasts (with more on the way) so at least I’m occasionally throwing sports a half empty can of green beans and some flip flops. But now that I’m between summer movies and have previewed just about everything I can, let’s go ahead and throw video games some tender loving care shall we? Or at the very least a can of cream of mushroom soup (cause what exactly do you use that for anyway), with a list I like to call:

Micah’s Top Three Video Games of 2013

Assassin’s Creed Black Flag

I’m not really ranking these games in any particular order as I fluctuate between them depending on which has most recently released a trailer, like a small child unable to choose which Ice Cream he truly loves (except with less maturity and more facial hair.) Assassin’s Creed Black Flag is the next entry in the much beloved, occasionally hated Assassin’s Creed series. I REALLY liked the last game, Assassin’s Creed: Tanto’s Revenge, but didn’t really care for the second entry of the series (or the fact that they released three different versions of the same game and tried to pretend it was a sequel. This would be like me selling you a plain ham sandwich then coming back the next day with some lettuce and miracle whip and trying to get you to pay the same price for them.) That said, Black Flag looks great and promises to continue some of the coolest parts of Assassin’s Creed: Not At All Racist by letting us once more captain a pirate ship.

Watch Dogs    

Watch Dogs looks like Assassin’s Creeds older, smart, more athletic brother in that it’s still sort of a stealth/action/murder hybrid but this one is set in modern day Somethington and prominently features you computer hacking into traffic lights, ATM’s, and grandmothers to achieve your goals. Hacking is one of those things I would totally be into if it wasn’t illegal and didn’t involve actual intelligence, so a chance to do it in a video game sounds like a really great way for me to be a hacker without the risk of jail time or brain use.

Dragon Age 3

I haven’t actually seen a trailer for this game yet (they haven’t released one) but it’s set for release this year which excites me. I LOVED Dragon Age 1. LOVED. Dragon Age 1 was the Kierra Knightely of my video game life (Mass Effect is Karen Gillan… if you were wondering). I beat Dragon Age 1 like… five times. The world was huge, the characters were interesting, the combat was fun, and the dialogue was great. It was like someone broke into my brain took my ideas for a perfect video game and put them on a screen, and I was happy.

When Dragon Age 2 was announced I was excited, sure it looked different (graphics engine was completely changed), sure my dialogue options were more limited (actual talking rather than just text) but, hey, it was Dragon Age right? Well… ish. Dragon Age 2 (to continue an illustration that is rapidly becoming the basis for my wife never speaking to me again) was like Scarlett Johansson. There was a lot of hype and hubub and everyone freaked out about it forever and in the end it wasn’t that it was bad it was just that it wasn’t everything everyone kept yabbering on about. I meanI have nothing against Scar Jo but… she’s not great. She’s not a great actress she’s just sort of “mass media attractive.” That was Dragon Age 2, it wasn’t that I didn’t like it, it was just that I didn’t really care. The big world of Dragon Age 1 was stuck into a single city, the awesome dialogue was trying so very hard to be awesome that it mostly just ended up falling all over itself (my favorite example being the Pirate Captainess who the writers felt like every single word she spoke had to be somehow construed as sexual innuendo making her not only hilariously stupid sounding but also giving her the character depth of a worm strewn puddle). I could go on but needless to say I beat Dragon Age 2 once, and then sold it.

Now that Dragon Age 3 has been announced it looks like the developers are actually going to listen to the fans though so I’m allowing myself to be at least a little bit excited. A little bit. Warily. With addendums. But excited none the less.

A Quick Note on PS4 and Xbox One.

A couple people asked for my thoughts on this particular topic so here they are: aside from the weird Xbox One naming thing (why go back to one? Wasn’t there already an Xbox 1 namely, the first xbox? You realize you sound a lot less impressive than the PS4, right?) My main thought is that I don’t really care. Yet. I mean talk to me in February when the consoles have been out for a little bit and people have stopped murdering eachother outside of Walmarts to get them and maybe I’ll care more but given the fact that both these consoles will be selling for roughly the price of a small car for the immediate future my interest is purely academic. I will say that Microsoft FORCING me to get a kinect (the video camera attachment thing that allows you to both play games and look like an idiot) is a little off-putting. When I play a video game microsoft the whole idea is that I want to sit down and relax. Sure dance dance revolution is fun but forcing me to pay extra for something I will probably never EVER use seems a bit presumptious.   

Anyway, there you having it Video Game category, a blanket to keep you warm, some soup to keep you living, and some hope that I will probably crush by not posting in you for another year or so. Thanks for reading everyone and check back Monday for another new post!