Posts Tagged ‘Bradley Cooper’

Hey Internet, so before we get to today’s wonderfully awesome review of a pretty wonderfully awesome movie, I must impart to you a tiny nugget of sadness. A nugget that will sit on the top of this wonderful Sunday that is today’s blog post and will be with you all through next week in a sad little corner of nuggetry. I will not be posting next week. I know. I know. It’s okay, let it out. I’ll be in Maine for a week teaching a drama camp and working on my ability to slowly freeze to death. So hang in there guys, and remember, I’ll always be here for you… except for next week… as we discussed. So anyway…

Micah Reviews: Guardians of the Galaxy

I’ve been riding the hype train for Guardians of the Galaxy for like a year. In fact I have been DRIVING the hype train. With a hype hat and matching gloves. So could it possibly live up to the expectations of my train… Or some other things that makes more sense with this metaphor? In short: yes. Yes it could.

Guardians of the Galaxy: Cause awesome, that's why.

Guardians of the Galaxy: Cause awesome, that’s why.

The Plot:

Guardians of the Galaxy opens with a little boy and he’s sad about… about something. I don’t know…. There was a thing and it was unfortunate… And then he got abducted by aliens and everything was AWESOME! We jump forward about twenty years and rediscover our little boy now in the grown up and awesome form of Peter Quill aka (according to some) Star Lord. Peter breaks into a decrepit old temple, does some dancing, and then steals a valuable orb to sell to the highest bidder.

Unfortunately, he’s not the only one after it, and he is soon afterword caught up in a galaxy’s worth of trouble with four misfits, one huge problem, and a couple people out to kill them all! So, can a raccoon, a tree, an assassin, a crazy huge crazy person, and a formerly abducted person during a sad situation that I don’t remember, save the galaxy???

The Pros:

Can’t talk enough about the script for this movie. It was spot on (except for ya know… one or two things) but  the overall flow of the movie is incredible. The  characters are smart, the world/galaxy is amazing, and the movie has an amazing sense of humor and tone about it.

Chris Pratt is great as Peter Quill. The whole cast has a few weak points but Pratt carries the movie from start to finish with great comedic timing, and a surprising amount of heart. Also backing up Pratt is a great performance by Bradley Cooper doing the voice work for Rocket Raccoon who steals just about every scene he’s in.

The soundtrack also deserves its own prop in the pro prop proportion production. The songs are great and they really help set the tone for the crazy pace of the movie and the world that Guardians of the Galaxy builds.

The action is very well done and the visuals are incredibly well realized and have a very distinct look to them. It’s not just another run in the mill sci-fi, spacey looking movie that looks like other spacey looking movies. It’s incredibly distinct and incredibly awesome. Deal with it.

Also, some serious mad props to Marvel for having the guts to make this film. It’s VERY different from anything they’ve done before, and  a refreshing change of pace from a long line of sequels and the dark gritty grit grit of some other comic franchises. Before anything else Guardians of the Galaxy wants to be fun, and it absolutely is. Yes it has some tender moments, and yeah it works into the rest of the “MARVEL UNIVERSE” but this movie has the guts to be incredibly different in a comic book world that is starting to look a little samey. So thanks Guardians, for showing us that comic book movies don’t have to be sequels (Captain America) or dark and moody (Man of Steel) but can just be a ton of fun!

The Cons:

Umm… one or two small script things kinda stuck out but it was literally one word here or there. So nothing too much to criticize there.

Thanos is just not doing it for me. He looks like Barney’s ugly cousin. Or perhaps his alter-ego. Like evil-Barney. I can totally see that being a thing.

Evil Barney: He'll love you. To death.

Evil Barney: He’ll love you. To death.

Also the post credits scene is a waste of your time. Unless you’re fond of old, terrible, comic books movies, from the 80’s you should really just leave the theatre. Seriously though. Leave. Walk out. Run out. Run out and bang your head against a wall for five minutes, it will be more fun than watching the end credits scene.

In Conclusion:

Guardians of the Galaxy is awesome!!! Go watch it. Leave now. Watch it. Watch yourself laugh, watch yourself enjoy yourself. You’ll thank me later. Your face will thank me later. Go watch this movie.

I give it 4 awesome evil Barney’s out of 5.

So there you go gentlemen. Ladies. Guardians of the Galaxy, I was totally awesomely right. You’re welcome. Bear in mind, I will be gone next week so… I don’t know, watch Guardians of the Galaxy for me.

In our lead story not much actually happened this week.

Tangled Ever After the sequel to Disney’s Tangled is officially being released. Here’s what most people may not know. This “sequel” is in fact just a digital short that will be played in theaters before Beauty and the Best 3D. Yes ladies and gentlemen Disney is trying to steal your money. I realize that 3D can be cool but why would I pay fifteen dollars to watch a movie I HAVE ALREADY SEEN while wearing uncomfortable glasses? Apparently Disney has realized this too and is hoping that people will pay fifteen dollars to watch what will at most be a ten minute film featuring characters that are actually interesting. They want your souls people. They want your souls.

Don't believe the lie people... don't believe the lie!

In the sports world Charley Strong, coach of Louisville‘s football team, has publicly stated that the reason his team played poorly last week was because the students were off playing the newly released Call of Duty game. When asked why he didn’t do the whole “coaching” thing and get his players to stop being idiots the coach said he would have but was: “like four cards away” from winning solitaire.

Mirror Mirror, a re-imagining of the children’s classic Snow White, released its trailer earlier this week. No this is not a re-post. This is actually a totally separate movie from Snow White and the Hunstmen a re-imagining of Snow White that came out with its trailer LAST week. Also Snow White and the Hunstmen looks good. Mirror Mirror looks like what would happen if someone fed an Anteater a whole colony of red ants and then punched it in the stomach. Sticky, clumpy, nasty, and vaguely reminiscent of Julia Roberts back when she could act. If the movie was hoping to convince me not to watch it: it has succeeded.

 

Hey look a dumb semi generic looking title poster... sort of like the movie...

Immortals claimed the top spot in the box office this week. The movies features Henry Cavill, the actor playing Superman in the new Man of Steel coming out next summer, and Mickey Rourke. And then a lot of people hitting each other with swords and wearing tiny skirts. Mickey Rourke continues to act incredibly well without ever seeming to actually open his mouth when he talks. When asked to comment on this Mickey said “I’ve cansdfhd.” And “aasfhdsf”

Me king. This my pet beetle Gormandorf. Fear him.

At midnight tonight the new Twilight Movie Breaking Dawn Part 1 hits theaters. It’s sequel Breaking Afternoon is scheduled for release next summer. People have literally been lined up outside theaters for days waiting for the release of this movie… or protesting wall street… it’s hard to tell sometimes.

And here’s a random picture I thought was funny…

That's commitment.

Like I said… not a lot happened this week.

Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 has become the single fastest selling game of all time. In the 5 days since it’s release the game has grossed $775 million worldwide. I was going to pick up a copy but the entireLouisville state football team was in front of me in line so I missed out.

Bradley Cooper was recently named the sexiest man alive. In unrelated news George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Hugh Jackmen, and a ton of other better looking men reported that they are in fact still living. In less related news the naked Mole Rat was recently named cutest mammal.