Posts Tagged ‘Boston Red Sox’

Internet!! Hey, what’s up? I ask, not because like usual where I ask questions with no intention of actually answering, but because I care. Because my vast and tender heart reaches out through time and space, and touches all of you. Cause we are connected, connected through our lives, through our hopes, dreams, fears, and through our mutual appreciation of the horrible face of Amanda Seyfried.

But that’s enough about me, let’s talk about you, and what you wanted to know about me. Or from me. Or whatever.

(you can e-mail me with questions, queries and comments by sending your questions to

Question 1: What are you thoughts on the Red Sox this season? – James T

Are you sure you’re writing this to the right blog there James?? Sure I have a sports section, but it is the neglected, plucky, musically gifted, orphan Annie of this website. But I suppose there’s nothing wrong with letting the little Orphan hop up on stage and sing something about Tomorrow.

So the Red Sox so far have looked pretty good. And I know this cause my wife bought me a years subscription to!! Sure our pitching is a little bit of  leaky rowboat adrift on a wide expanse of ocean, but our offense is a huge roving death whale of Murder Death looking for any other ships that may or may not be in any way related to the previous boat metaphor. So it all works.

The Red Sox offense everyone.

The Red Sox offense everyone.

We haven’t really gotten to much into the season obviously, but early signs are good, everyone seems largely happy and healthy and while the first third of the season doesn’t really mean much, it’s certainly better to have a good first third, then it is a bad first third.

Question 2: Are there too many Super hero movies right now? – Beth

Well there’s at least one too many.(Rimshot as Micah stares intently at Batman vs. Superman.) Seriously though, it’s a valid question. Right now it’s just Marvel and Marvel’s cranking out two movies a year, basically for the next seventy thousand years. So far, it’s working okay for them, the movies are well done and the world ties together very nicely. But then you’ve also got Fox who is good for at least an x-man movie once every two years, DC who looks like they’ll be good for a movie or two a year once they’re done ruining batman, Sony who still owns some of the Spiderman rights and then at least one or two wild card comic book movies (I, Frankenstein for instance) a year.

Pictured: at least three reasons that we should maybe just stop with Superhero movies all together.

Pictured: at least seven reasons that we should maybe just stop with Superhero movies all together.

So to answer your question: probably. We will probably, eventually hit a wall, it happens. Fads come and go, it’s the way the world works. That said, comic books have been around forever because they’re appealing to a very wide range of audiences. You’ve got the child/teen audience, the adult nerd audience, and the casual action fan audience. So, while I think we will hit a point where the movies stop breaking box office records, stop getting made into TV shows, and stop getting churned out by film companies like Peeps at Easter; I don’t think the comic book movie itself is going anywhere. It’ll eventually settle down and become a nice reliable way to make lots of money, while everyone else moves on to the next big thing.

Question 3: Is it possible that Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 could be worse then the first one? Steph

Steph, I’m not gonna lie to you: it’s possible that Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 could be the worst movie ever. As in ever. At all. And not just major motion pictures, I’m talking random videos children have made with their parents camcorders, I’m talking about that time you accidentally filmed your foot for a few minutes when you thought you locked your phone. I’m talking about movies with Hayden Christenson Nicolas Cage, and Amanda Seyfried, movies that are filmed when Doctors probe someone’s colon with a tiny video camera. It stands a strong chance of physically breaking your brain. And I’m sorry. Kevin James seems like a nice guy, he seems like a genuinely fun dude to be around, but someone needs to stop him from making movies. Before it’s too late.

Someone, anyone, stop this man.

Someone, anyone, stop this man.

Thank for the questions everyone!! Keep them coming, and I will keep answering… most of them.

Hey Internet! Sorry for missing my posting day Thursday, I was in the midst of a rather desperate disagreement with my stomach as to the proper orientation for food directionality. Or (less delicately) I was puking. Everything. I went to work the other day and had to tighten my belt an extra rung to make up for the fact that my stomach had shrunk to the size of a walnuts nostril. But anyway, here we stand at the start of a new week with our eyes facing the teacher and our hands folded in our laps. I mean… nevermind.

Weekly Headlines 10/14/2013

In our lead story today the Boston Red Sox won a crazy CRAZY game last night. We came back from 5 behind to tying the game in the eighth inning on a grand slam by David Ortiz and then winning the game on a single in the ninth inning! I was listening to the game (cause I’m unwilling to pay four million dollars to the cable company just so I can forget when my shows are on and have to watch them later anyway) and if ever a dance was done lying in bed without waking up a sleeping wife I have done that dance. And I have done it beautifully. Like a swan. Under a coverlet.

Yes, David Ortiz ladies and gentlemen. Thrilling and chilling since 2004.

Yes, David Ortiz ladies and gentlemen. Thrilling and chilling since 2004.

In continued sporting news my fantasy football team is terrible this year. The only nice thing about that is that I have first dibs on free agents every week so all of the good teams hate me cause I keep stealing all the good free agents. I still lose mind you but at least I get to be annoying, so who’s the real winner? … Yeah it’s totally them isn’t it?

In movie news the trailer for I, Frankenstein is out! I, Frankenstein is a movie by the same people who made Underworld (awesome) and based on a very cool graphic novel. Here’s the thing: Underworld is an awesome movie with a great visual style but the story was always its weakest point. ESPECIALLY in the second and third movie where the story had all the depth and emotion of a particularly flat picture of Isaac Newton. But with this movie they’ve already got an interesting story cause they’re stealing it from the graphic novel! What could possibly go wrong?

It's just like Frankenstein!! Except ya know for the knives and the angels and demons and... pretty much everything.

It’s just like Frankenstein!! Except ya know for the knives and the angels and demons and… pretty much everything.

Gravity took top spot at the box office for the second week in a row as critics and comics alike continue to sing the praises of George Clooney, Sandra Bullock, and the Oscar worthy performance of the Milky Way galaxy.   

For those of you wondering, Sleepy Hollow is actually kind of awesome. Awesome in a “hold your loved ones close cause you are about to be horribly scarred by the next forty five minutes” but hey… that’s cool I guess.

So there’s a trailer out for the new Hercules movie, and no not “Hercules” starring Dwayne Johnson. This is “Hercules: The Legend Begins” starring a bunch of people no one has ever heard of. This movie is coming out first quarter 2014 and as we all know the first quarter is where bad movies crawl to die a slow timely death so… probably don’t concern yourself too much with this one.

A new study has shown that chewing popcorn in movie theaters may reduce the effectiveness of pre-movie ads. Yup. Someone felt the need to study this.

And finally the number two spot at the box office this week went to Captain Phillips (a Tom Hanks movie) and not “Machete Kills” (a stupid movie.) For some reason certain people were surprised that a stupid sequel to a terrible movie that nobody watched the first time didn’t do better business. Cause after all: Grown Ups 2.

Aw, and you thought I was done picking on Adam Sandler!?!? Poor internet. Anyway, I’m back y’all check on back in this very Thursday when I will (hopefully) review Gravity!