Box Office Top Ten 5-25-2017

Posted: May 26, 2017 by Micah in Randomnicity

Hello Internet, I come before you today a sad and penitent man. A man who has strived, striven, and stroven to post this week and yet… haven’t. I have let you down Internet, and for that I am sorry. From the front of my right index finger to to the middle of my right index finger… I apologize. Next week things should be back to normal but just to give you a quick fix of your weekly Thoughts, here’s a fast run down of…

The Box Office Top Ten 5-25-2017 

Number 10: How to Be a Latin Lover 

How to Be a Latin Lover isn’t a horrible comedy… but it’s not an especially good one. It’s fairly middling script is picked up by a solid cast but frankly if you haven’t seen this movie at this point you probably should just let it slide right off your calendar and catch it when it inevitably ends up on Hulu in 6 months or so.

Number 9: Beauty and the Beast 

It’s great and magical and you and your children will be whisked away on silver swans, to a golden lake filled with your childhood memories and children’s childhood memories and the HUGE stacks of cash Disney made off this movie.

Number 8: The Boss Baby 

Nothing truly horrible here, a fairly paint by numbers kid movie, we’ll get to the truly awful kids movie later but if you’ve seen Beauty and the Beast more times than your brain cares to think about than this is probably your best bet as far as childtainment goes.

Number 7: The Fate of the Furious 

Oh yeah… this movie’s still around. I don’t know whether it’s because the ad campaign for this movie started up like 6 months ago or because the Rock has another movie opening this week (the genuinely terrible Baywatch movie) but I honestly thought this movie was already out of theaters. That said as action movies go it’s perfectly serviceable. As a title goes it blew the whole F8 of the Furious thing. I’m dissapointed.

Number 6: Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Wait Seriously We Made Two of These??? 

As promised: a truly terrible children’s movie.

Number 5: King Arthur: Legend of the Sword 

Well… at least I called it. KA:LotS is just another Guy Ritchie movie. Plenty of flash, no substance. It’s not the worst action movie you’ll see this year but there’s just not a lot here beyond some cool camera work and the buffest King Arthur since… ever.

Number 4: Snatched 

Amy Schumer stars in a movie that’s not as funny as it should be. It’s not the least funny movie you’ll see this summer (Yes, that’s gonna be Baywatch) but there’s nothing here that really justifies you seeing it.

Number 3: Everything Everything 

A teenage girl with a rare disease that keeps her isolated falls in love with a teenage boy who cares enough to get to know her for her. Ya know, like every teen movie ever made.

Number 2: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 

It’s great. Seriously. Super good. I did a full review of this back when I still wrote on this blog but just to save you some valuable finger scrolling energy allow me to summarize: it’s very good. You should watch it.

Number 1: Alien Covenant 

Look… I’m gonna do a full review of this at some point but let me just say this: it’s better than Prometheus.

Also let me say: It’s not that good. It has its moments of good, but it is not (when collected together and put upon a large projection screen) a very good movie. Sorry Alien fans… we’ll just have to wait.

And there you go guys! Sorry once again for my absence this week, should be back to my regular schedule next week! I’ll probably be doing a mailbag so be sure to leave your questions in the comments or send them to

Also: check out my comedy podcast over here!!

Thanks, and I’ll see you next week!

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