The Weekly Headlines 2-21-17

Posted: February 21, 2017 by Micah in Randomnicity

Hey Internet!! How’s the old West treating you? How’s the Old East treating you for that matter? No one ever talks about the old East do they? But that’s what we’re here for at Thoughts We Might Have Had! To ask the questions the world is too afraid to ask. To think of the things no one has had the chance to think of yet, and copyright it so as to keep those dollar dollar bills. Because the days of the Old East are coming my friends… they are on our doorsteps, in our streets, circling our cul-de-sacs. And I will be ready.

All right so, due to some VERY exciting things that are happening I’m a bit crunched for time today, but so as not to leave you without your bi-weekly injection of vitriol and sarcasm here are some weekly headlines followed by a very cool, very sleek, and mighty tasty announcement!!

The Weekly Headlines – 2/21/2017

Guillermo Del Toro has officially announced that there will not be a Hellboy Three movie which is definitely newsworthy because both of the remaining fans of that franchise we’re very upset about the ambiguity of Del Toro making a sequel to the moderately enjoyable Hellboy 2, which followed up the moderately un-enjoyable Hellboy 1. I mean, don’t get me wrong I would have watched Hellboy 3 but I wouldn’t exactly have bet the one quarter I have in my bank account that it was gonna be an actual movie.

log

Ah, the face of joy.

 

Early movie reviews for Logan have been very VERY positive, proving once again that the only reason the X-men movies ever worked was because of Hugh Jackmen’s handsome and well chiseled man-body. Early reviews for such movies do generally end up being a bit high but I think it’s safe to assume at this point that we’re looking at a good movie here.

loganimaxposter

Also: this may be the best poster… just ever.

 

The hype train has officially left the station for Disney’s upcoming re-vamp of Beauty and the Beast. Let’s be honest though, the hype train was never really even IN the station on this one. From the casting, to the music, to the terrifying implications of people turning into furniture, this movie has been tagged for greatness since day 1 and at this point everything seems to be pointing in that direction. Disney hasn’t entirely whiffed on any of their “Look it’s real people/snakes now!!” movies and it would be VERY hard to mess up Beauty and the Beast. I’m not saying they can’t do it, just that it would take a lot of work to get this cast and this score completely wrong.

bab

I mean look at that cast! How do you mess that up?  

 

The Lego Batman movie continues to rule the box office thanks to the fact that it’s the only halfway decent movie that’s come out in the last couple weeks. It’s not so much winning the race as it is the only participant in the race, that hasn’t recently been attacked with a Hollywood chainsaw.

And finally, Legion has released its first two episodes and while I want to definitely avoid hyperbole allow me to say (in a very non hyperbolic way) it’s the best DANG THING EVER!!! Seriously though: it’s fantastic. Great acting, awesome writing, very weird in its own excellent way. If you’re one of the 5 people with an actual FX subscription you should definitely be watching this!

legi

He’s sad cause he doesn’t have an FX subscription.

 

Okay that just leaves us with our final announcement which is that I and my good friend Nate Offord have started a new podcast called The PSV that’s all about comedy, the Bible, and then comedy again!! Like seriously, it’s funny… and also VERY not accurate to the Bible so… go into it knowing that! Check it out here: thepsv.podbean.com and let yourself be taken away by my dulcet tones! Thanks for reading and I’ll see you Thursday!

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