Well hey guys, and welcome to that most magical time of year when I jump around like a crazy person, point at things I know very little about, and make bold and shocking predictions about them… that probably won’t come true. But before we get to this years thing, let’s take a look back and see how I did last year shall we?… cause there’s no way that’s something I’m gonna regret.
The 2016 Predictions Review
- Assassins Creed wins the Battle of the Video Game movies.
I mean look I wasn’t strictly speaking wrong here. Ratchett and Clank and World of Warcraft we’re both pretty bad (REALLY bad in Ratchett and Clanks case) and Assassins Creed was only sort of bad so… while it didn’t really win the battle per se, it did lose the least. So that’s a point for me, right?
- In an epic comic book movie year, Captain America: Civil War stands tallest.
I was a million percent right on this. You’re welcome.
- In a not epic, unnecessary sequel year, My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 is the worst.
This one I was wrong on. It was fine and as it turns out Zoolander 2 was VERY bad. You can’t win them all, and nobody one with Zoolander 2. Nobody.
- Moana is 2016’s top kids movie.
I mean I guess you could make a case for Zootopia or Finding Dory but I feel like Moana was the one I enjoyed the most. And this is my blog so… we’re done here.
I made a Jumanji prediction but that movie got delayed so… disqualified.
- The Top Grossing Movie of 2016 is: Star Wars: Rogue One
Granted the Box Office is still open on Rogue One but at this point it’s pretty much not gonna happen. Rogue One slipped into second place behind Finding Dory. So I got close… but no luck.
So that’s last year guys. I feel pretty good about that, other than the fact I somehow didn’t think Zoolander 2 was as bad an idea as it turned out being. But as many important philosophers have said: pobody’s nerfect.
Micah’s 5 Movie predictions for 2017
- In a somewhat less loaded comic book year: Guardians of the Galaxy 2 is the best comic book movie.
Not honestly a ton of competition in my mind to GoG2. I expect Thor 3, Logan, and Spiderman: Homecoming to be good but not great, I’ve personally sworn off getting excited about Wonder Woman or Justice League so… yeah. I think GoG2 handily wins the best comic book movie of the year!
- Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature wins the award for least necessary sequel.
I don’t really feel like I need to explain this. It’s… it’s a very bad idea. And while never let it be said I was close minded, my mind should be considered closed for all business on this one.
- King Arthur: Legend of the Sword wins the weirdly specific battle of the Arthurian legend weirdness.
Look, both this movie and Transformers: The Last Knight are doing sort of weird re-telling’s of the Arthurian legend. Now, it should be noted here: I don’t think Legend of the Sword will be very good. But I KNOW the Transformers movie will be very bad. So in this weird face-off of ruining the King Arthur legend, I’m gonna put my money in the “not transformers” category.
- The best kids movie of the year is Coco.
Look I don’t know what this movie is about, but it’s Disney’s November kids movie and until this system breaks down far be it from me to bet against it. I’ve seen one picture of an adorable child and a grandma and that’s really all I need to know about this particular Disney nugget.
- The top grossing movie of 2017 will be: Star Wars Episode 8.
I actually gave some long thought to giving this to Justice League but surely I’m not the only person refusing to get on this hype train right? Plus Episode 7 was the highest grossing movie of all time so… it seems dumb to bet against its sequel right?
And there you have it guys! 5 predictions for 2017! May the film year be good to us, to you, and to your families. Micah, out.