Box Office Top Ten 11/29/2016

Posted: November 29, 2016 by Micah in Randomnicity

Well hey Internet, I’m back! I survived all the terrible things the doctors did to my knee while I was asleep and apparently they have done fixed what was broke! Now I just need to recover from the fixing. Anyway: I’m back, and while I continue to get back into the swing of life on crutches I didn’t want to leave you without another entry in this thing we call Thoughts We Might Had. So what say we check in on ye olde box office and see what’s movin’ and (as a natural byproduct) what’s shakin’.

Box Office Top Ten 11/29/2016

Number 10: The Edge of Seventeen

A very good sort of coming of age movie, The Edge of Seventeen stars Hailee Steinfeld, and Woody Harrelson and… yeah. I mean It’s not like a whole new concept you’ve never seen before but it is a really well told and well acted movie… Man that wasn’t like funny at all was it? Maybe… maybe my knee was the source of my sarcasm!! Let’s see ummm… This movie was as good as a… goodness. Wow. Yup. I’m out guys.

Number 9: Hacksaw Ridge

So ummm… I don’t know guys, it’s a World War 2 movie starring Andrew Garfield and Andrew Garfield used to be Spiderman and it’s a pretty good movie. And there’s Spiderman… Spider… war. I’m sorry.


In my defense, World War 2 is not traditionally rife with humor.


Number 8: Almost Christmas

Like a bland but passable gingerbread house, Almost Christmas is a thing that has happened… and it’s Christmas. Almost. You won’t regret eating this movie, but… no wait. You won’t regret watching this gingerbread but—No! Now my metaphors are broken!

Number 7: Bad Santa 2

A bad movie, that was poorly timed, badly put together, and entirely pointless. Like a poorly put together Christmas speech wherein your father announces he’s lit the Christmas tree on fire, and your weird Uncle Alfie drives a car through the laundry nook. Hey, look at that!! I’m back! All I needed was a refreshingly horrendous movie, like movie smelling salts.


The exact face I made when I heard they were doing Bad Santa 2.


Number 6: Trolls

Kind of your standard kids movie. Covered in glitter. It’s not terrible but… ya know, there’s much better things to come in the kids movie lane so… probably not your thing unless you’re super into unfortunate hair and finding glitter on your clothes for weeks.

Number 5: Arrival

Super good Sci-fi movie guys. Humans must find a way to communicate ourselves and our beliefs to a mysterious group of aliens. But, ya know… not boring… like that sounded. It’s super good.


Aliens don’t really struggle with remembering where they parked.


Number 4: Allied

Marion Cottilard and Brad Pitt star in a spy thriller about… some spy’s. It’s basically the exact plot of Mr. and Mrs. Smith except it’s World War 2 and the movie doesn’t try and be funny. Also, it’s pretty good! Which Mr. and Mrs. Smith was not. At all.

Number 3: Doctor Strange

Benedict Cumberbatch stars in yet another spot on Marvel movie, that tells an awesome origin story, introduces magic to world of marvel, and introduces Cumberbatch’s face to the prickity stickity confines of a go-tee.


And oh what a go-tee it is.


Number 2: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

The first entry in the new Harry Potter Trilogy (or more) gets things off to a pretty good start. It doesn’t quite reach the emotional stakes of the later Harry Potter movies but it’s a fun start to new things and Eddie Redmayne turns in a great performance as Newt Scamander.

Number 1: Moana

The makers of Frozen basically just crank out another charming kids feature with awesome music, great writing, and more heart than cupid himself. They literally can’t make a bad movie. They can’t. Also: I can’t wait for Once Upon a Time on ABC to somehow work in a the Rock-sized transforming ocean-god, and an island girl into their mythos next season. That’s the only thing that will make this movie better, the satisfaction of watching someone try to blandly steal their ideas… and then fail.


Why can’t the ocean just text like everyone else?


Well there you go guys! The Box Office top ten! I’ll see you Thursday for more sarcasm, more knee humor and yet another Reader Mailbag episode! Get your questions in, in the comments or below or shoot me an email to

  1. Schofie says:

    Am I the only one that feels the spacecraft the Aliens in Arrival use looks like a giant coffee bean?

    What a way to travel.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s