Well hey Internet, and welcome back to the thrilling and chilling world of Thoughts We Might Have Had. A world fraught with danger, hijinks, and small after-dinner mints. I had a whole other big article planned for today but there has been a lot of moving and/or shaking in the world of Hollywood in the last few days so it seemed like a good time to dust off that classic little novella we keep under our seats just in case…

The Weekly Headlines 11/15/16

So… according to multiple sources Fox is taking a strong look at re-booting the X-men franchise after the new Logan movie comes out (Logan is also Hugh Jackman’s last movie as everyone’s favorite small mammal: The Wolverine.) Granted Fox basically JUST did this with the whole Day’s of Future past thing but… I mean this isn’t necessarily a terrible idea. I mean, X-men: Apocalypse was one of the least interesting super-hero movies I’ve ever seen. It wasn’t just bad (there were worse comic book movies this year), the whole movie felt tired. We’d been to all these places before, we’d seen all these things. It was just uninteresting. Fox has already cut dies with that movies director, Bryan Singer, which seems like a very good idea and is currently trying to decide how hard they want to kick this whole thing with the old re-boot.

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If it’s possible to re-boot something out of existence I’m ALLL for that.

 

Should they try and bring back Michael Fassbender and James McCavoy? Should they call Jennifer Lawrence and ask her if she’s interested in getting covered in blue paint so she can play a role that won’t win her an Oscar?? I mean definitely not that second one. Maybe the first one but… I mean how many times can Magneto waffle between evil and good before we slap some syrup and butter on him?? I don’t… I don’t know what happened with that metaphor. Frankly, they really just need to shut this whole thing down for a few years but equally as frankly, there is no way they will actually do that. I think a re-boot is probably a good idea and honestly the harder the better. After Apocalypse it’s gonna take a LOT to get me excited about another X-men movie… Though Logan looks fantastic. Curse them and their emotional Johnny Cash songs!!

Jason Bourne the new Jason Bourne movie about Jason Bourne is out on DVD today. That’s just a fact. Like it’s a thing that exists now. For some reason.

Beauty and the Beast released an official poster and trailer and… look you guys are just gonna have to accept that fact that this movie will break you into a thousand nostalgic pieces. It just will. Disney made all those other weird live-action adaptations as practice for this: and that practice has paid off in a big way. You’re crying at least once in 2017. Just accept it.

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Curse you Disney!!!

 

With Fantastic Beets and Where to Find Them right around the corner we… Beasts. Sorry. Fantastic Beasts, no one would watch a movie call Fantastic Beets and Where to Find Them unless the answer to that was “in the trashcan.” Anyway, with that movie coming out soon more info has started come up about the next movie in the series which will feature Grundelwald and a very Young Dumbledore!! I’m very excited about this and have every intention of discussing this with great excitement and HUGE amoutns of nerdiness on Thursday. Hang in there Potterites.

Walking Dead Fans continue to hate the show, watch the show, and then complain about the show and how much better the show used to be when they had less to complain about (but still complained.) Don’t know what to tell you guys on this one…

Marvel and ABC are officially teaming up to make an Inhumans movie. For those of you who have no idea what “the Inhumans” are, congratulations on having a normal social life!! The Inhumans are basically just the X-men, but aliens. They’re a team and they have powers and one of them doesn’t speak and has a giant teleporting dog. And no I am not making that up. The Inhumans (or at least the idea of them) has played very heavily into the world of Agents of Shield so this is in no way surprising to anyone but it’s good to get some confirmation. The Inhumans were originally gonna be getting their own movie but that got scrapped with little to no aplomb a while back. So welcome back Inhumans! You get to be on the small screen!! No, no. It’s not Netflix… it’s ABC… have fun with that.

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Have fun making THAT work ABC.

 

Ghost in the Shell came out with its first trailer and it looks umm… very Ghost in the Shell-y. I mean I’ve seen both versions of the anime movie and they were… fine? Maybe. Good?? I had a lot of questions afterwords and the whole thing just sort of… ended. With no real conclusion. So yay??? I guess.

Dr. Strange took the top spot in the box office again this week! And hey, why not. It’s got magical circle portals that swirl around and bring people to different places!!… When you describle something as a “Swirling circle portal” it really makes it sound like some kind of magical toilet device doesn’t it?? … Well that movies ruined now.

Shut In a movie starring Naomi Watts and her one facial expression is now (to no one’s surprise) sitting at a whopping 0% on Rotten tomatoes. I mean it takes a LOT of work to have zero percent on there. You’ve got to COMMIT to being a bad movie. I mean Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 managed to squeak out a 4% and that movie was the worst idea ever! So congratulations Shut In, for being the worst you, you could be.

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Unless you see a Zero percent on Rotten Tomatoes. You can believe that.

 

And congratulations to all of you, for making it through another episode of: The Weekly Headlines.

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