Okay Internet, so… there’s a lot of stuff going on right now in this crazy life of mine. I’m moving, people are sick, and the voices in my head keep insisting I steal that puppy. I don’t want to steal it, it’s the puppy-voices in my head!! In honor of those things here is a very VERY brief version of the Box Office Top Ten.
Box Office Top Ten 10/6/2016
Number 10: Snowden
Oliver Stone’s fairly uninteresting version of one of the decade’s most interesting people. Give it a rent when it’s in Redbox if you’re into this sort of thing.
Number 9: Bridget Jones’s Baby
It still hurts me so much that this is a good movie. But it’s apparently a good movie. I was wrong. You don’t have a puppy do you?
Number 8: Don’t Breathe
Another movie that is apparently good for some reason, Don’t Breathe is a horror movie about some kids who rob a blind person and then… horror stuff.
Number 7: Queen of Katwe
Disney’s under the radar classic about a girl in Uganda who becomes a chess champion. Lupita Nyong’o anchors the cast with an amazing performance in what really is a very well done movie. It’s a little under the radar but if you can get to this one you definitely should try to.
Number 6: Masterminds
This is a terrible movie. Please don’t watch it.
Number 5: Sully
Tom Hanks drops a plane in a river. Summary=done!
Number 4: Storks
It’s really the only kids movieon the list so… you should probably take your kids too it. Either that or… I don’t know… the park?? Skate-boarding??
Number 3: The Magnificent Seven
Look, it’s not exactly the next great American movie, but it’s a fun western!! And I love a fun western!! You love a fun western, everyone loves a fun western!!
Number 2: Deepwater Horizon
Mark Whalberg blows up an oil rig?? Or is on an oil rig?? Or IS an oil rig?? Admittedly, the last one seems unlikely….
Number 1: Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children
Tim Burton releases a fairly strong entry in his own anthology. Per usual he has his own VERY Burton-esque style, and the story lends itself pretty well to that style. The script isn’t exactly Hamlet, but it’s good enough to support Burton’s style.
So there you go guys. It’s the quick version, but it’s a version! I’ll catch ya next week, when hopefully all is as it should be.