Weekly Headlines 9-8-2016

Posted: September 8, 2016 by Micah in Weekly Headlines
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Well hey Internet, look, I’m not gonna lie to you. I’m real real sick. But like a swan, winging up from it’s little swanhouse on the prairie, I shall rise up and eat some breadcrumbs!!… I mean do the weekly headlines. Yeah… that one. Though I mean if you’ve got some breadcrumbs…

The Weekly Headlines 9/8/2016

Well it’s been confirmed guys, Joe Manganiello will be playing Deathstroke in Ben Afflecks upcoming Solo Batman movie. Whether or not he will appear in Justice League is still very up in the air. Given that Justice League already has the formation of the Justice League and a MUCH bigger villain than Deathstroke it doesn’t seem like a good idea. Then again, this is a DC movie so… there’s plenty of precedent for bad ideas. PLENTY of precedent.


People seem okay with this casting but I mean come on!! That one eye you can see looks NOTHING like his one eye!!


Speaking of bad ideas: Underworld: Blood Wars released its first trailer! Look, I really liked the first Underworld, and the second was… a movie. The prequel was good and then it was WAAAYYYYY downhill from there. Downcliff is probably a better term. And now we’re apparently gonna make another one of these, and the really sad thing is… I’m totally gonna watch this. What can I say: I’m a sucker for vampires that actually do vampire things.

The Trailer for Collateral Beauty just dropped, and I’m not gonna lie guys, it looks great! Great cast, Will Smith doing Will Smith things, the whole thing looks real solid! Sure it’s got so much snoot it’s practically covered in a layer of soot snoot but that’s not always a bad thing! Highly recommend checking out the trailer!


Just read the cast, you’ll be pretty excited.


In TV news there it still ZERO TV news. When are the good shows coming back?? My poor Netflix cue is starting to get VERY tired, there are only so many times I can watch Firefly network TV!!

A new poster for Passengers has been released and the movie still seems like a real solid idea! Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence are the only two people awake on a ship bound for deep space?? Start printin’ that money.


Passengers!! Eyeballs!! Money!!


Taking the top spot at the box office this week was Don’t Breathe, though I feel like ‘taking’ is a very strong word for this. Don’t Breathe was handed the top spot in the box office this week because no one else really seemed to want it. Like (for instance) the flu, or any other raging horrors currently circulating through my very broken immune system.

Excitedly new in theaters next week is… umm… Well you can watch Bridget Jones’s Baby or Blair Witch if you feel like watching unnecessary, un-asked for, unimaginative sequels to movies that were pretty bad in the first place!! Then again if that’s your thing Now You See Me 2 is on DVD!!

Oh also, happy football season everyone! Hold onto your heads, keep your brains steady, and brace yourself for the inevitable head smashing action!


No matter what you do with your life, you will never fail as badly at your job, as this helmet.


Oh and finally, some hope for those of you staring ahead at the month of September with dread in your heart: here’s a list of some new movies on Netflix you should see. Jaws: cause giant sharks. True Grit (recently on my best westerns list.) Sweeney Todd (cause you can skip all the parts with the most annoying sailor child in the world singing about frikkin’ Joanna and just watch Johnny Depp and Alan Rickman) and Saving Private Ryan (cause  Tom Hanks REALLY wants to save that Private.)

And there you go guys: I’m going back to bed.





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