Hello Internet, and welcome back to Thursday here at Thoughts We Might Have Had. We switched to Friday’s for a bit there but now we’re back with Thursday, like an old comfortable pillow that wraps you in warmth and that vague smell of those Cheetos you keep dropping on it. And what better way to welcome Thursday back into our lives than with another time honored tradition of the blog: The Weekly Headlines.
Weekly Headlines 8/11/2016
James Wan (the director of the new Aquaman) says the Mortal Kombat movie he’s producing is well on track. Wait, we’re making a new Mortal Kombat??? What was wrong with the old Mortal Kombat, James? It was the perfect Mortal Kombat movie, it was low budget and non-sensical and looked like it had been thrown together at the last minute! What could be more Mortal Kombat than that??
Speaking of Aquaman it was recently confirmed that, Black Manta will be the main villain in Aquaman’s new movie. For those of you who don’t know (because you have actual lives made up of actual people) Black Manta is sort of a… he’s a guy. In a suit. And not a manta… in fact his suit doesn’t even really look like a manta at all. Sort of just a giant… bug. But her’s not a bug, he’s just a guy in a suit. So they call him black manta because… umm… look I can’t explain everything okay? He’s a guy with a big helmet and he doesn’t like Aquaman because… Aquaman know what Black Manta’s actually look like. Okay? Let’s… let’s just move on.
In even more comic book news, the Mad Hatter was recently cast in Season 3 of Gotham. What’s that? No one cares about a third string villain being cast in a second string TV show?? Oh. Umm…
Ghost Rider will be coming to Agents of Shield!! But not the real Ghost Rider. No this is the other Ghost Rider, the one who doesn’t ride a motorcycle. He drives a car. So he’s really more Ghost Driver. And instead of being called Johnny Blaze, he’s called Robbie Reyes… which has nothing to do with fire. What’s that?? No one cares about a knock-off version of a super-hero cast in a show with a rapidly dwindling audience and a distinct lack of interesting heroes?? Dang… Okay how about…
The Tinkerer has been cast in Spiderman: Homecoming. Okay look, I know he’s not a famous villain but at least he’s in a movie okay! I can’t help it if all the news this week was about irrelevant TV shows desperately trying to sneak back into the limelight! I don’t make the news! I just ignore it, until I have nothing else to blog about! Geeze.
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back released a new poster!! What?? Hey that first movie was good. It’s not my fault nobody watched it or cares about it!
The company that makes those Chronicles of Narnia movies has announced that they’re going to continued making those Chronicles of Narnia movies… so that’s news I guess. At least they confirmed that they are gonna do The Silver Chair and not mash that old Re-boot button everyone is so fond of. On the plus side The Silver Chair actually lends itself VERY nicely to a film, unlike The Dawn Treader (the last movie they made.) On the down side: these are the same people that directed the massive, horrifying, on fire trainwreck that was The Dawn Treader.
So the cast of Oceans 8 is just about finished. No, that wasn’t a typo, Oceans 8. It’s the female led spin-off to the Ocean’s 11 franchise, headlined by Sandra Bullock and Cate Blanchett, and now also includes Anne Hathaway, Helena Bonham-Carter, Mindly Kalligh, and (for some reason) Rihanna. I mean we all know that I love a good heist movie so I’m at least down with the idea of this! Like the cast, like the concept, we’ll just have to see what happens with it! There, surely that was headline worthy right??
So there you go guys… thems the news. I’ll see you next week for my annual Summer Awards!