Well hey internet, and welcome to that annual tradition where I get real bored during the summer and so begin wildly speculating as to what might sort of happen with fall TV shows when they actually come out (ya know, in the fall.) This year I was shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, at the number of shows coming out that I just don’t care at all about. It was legitimately painful going through all these but I did it, Internet… I did it for you.

Blacklist Redemption (NBC):

Look, I enjoy the Blacklist. The voice of James Spader is more than enough to carry what is (at this point) a show that’s showing a little bit of its own age. But a spin-off NBC?? A spin off starring the almost criminally un-James Spader face of Famke Janssen (sp)?? And she’s that one other guys mom for some reason?? Yeah… no thanks.

blacklistredemption

Yes, it’s important to the show that you believe that she is his mother… Disregard their exact same agedness as much as possible.

 

Conviction (ABC):

So the delinquent first daughter (kid of the president) is somehow black mailed into helping over turn the rulings on wrongfully accused criminals. I mean it’s moderately interesting but… what’s that? The sadly unappreciated Haley Atwell from the VERY sadly unappreciated Agent Carter plays the daughter?? Well…. Fine. I’m interested, but so help me if this turns into Law & Order: Oops Edition, I’ll hop out so fast I won’t so much as make a ripple in my large ocean of apathy.

Doubt (CBS):

What’s that?? You’re doing an entire show based around a defense attorney falling in love with her client? That sounds boring. Who did you cast in it?? Katherine Heigl??? That TV star who has ruined every movie she’s been in since she left that show of which she was very obviously the worst part??? Gonna be a hard pass on this one CBS. You keep trying though, it’s kinda cute.

Downward Dog (ABC):

A show from the perspective of a dog… thanks ABC.. this is new. The only thing moderately entertaining about this show is how tired and un-inspired this idea is.

Downward-Dog-ABC-TV

A very bland poster for a somehow blander sounding show.

 

Emerald City (NBC):

So this is yet another re-imagining of the Wizard of Oz but they did get Vincent D’Onofrio to play the Wizard which is at least interesting. I mean no one has ever really successfully done a good Wizard of Oz TV Show (Tin Man is probably the closest and that wasn’t nearly as good as people think it was.) But I’m at least interested enough to check it out, and see what happens. That said: it probably won’t be all that good.

2016-EmeraldCity

In this version Toto apparently is on ALL the steroids.

 

The Good Place (NBC):

It’s practically impossible not to like Kristen Bell and Ted Danson, and while The Good Place isn’t breaking any new ground with its concept, (a woman mistakenly gets into “heaven”) it looks charming and funny and is definitely (as far as I’m concerned) worth checking out.

The-Good-Place-TV-show-on-NBC

Yeah, you can’t look at this picture and NOT want to watch this can ya?

 

The Great Indoors (CBS):

Look, the concept here is fairly meh. A guy who used to travel for a magazine now gets grounded and has to learn to deal with his new, young staff who he doesn’t understand. BUT Stephen Fry is in this. Stephen Fry people!! This is probably nothing more than a paint by numbers comedy show… but Stephen Fry!!

fry

Thank you Stephen.

 

Lethal Weapon (Fox):

Cause for some reason we decided we needed another cop show so we slapped a title on it that people might recognize. Big nope from me.

Man with a Plan (CBS):

A contractor becomes a stay at home Dad… much like The Great Indoors this sounds like absolutely nothing new, but also much like The Great Indoors there is one caveat: Matt LeBlanc. Yes, Joey from Friends… I will watch at least 1 episode of this CBS, just to see Matt LeBlanc, the rest is entirely up to you.

man-with-a-plan-zoom

Yes kids, it was a different, MUCH better show.

 

Pitch (Fox):

So this is show is about a woman MLB Pitcher… for why??? I am a huge baseball fan, and am all about woman empowerment but… who is this show for??? I mean the trailer looked interesting and I will probably watch an episode just cause it’s a Baseball show and it’s me but, it’s hard to envision this being a series… like where does it go in week 6?? She… continues to pitch?? I mean if this goes into weird romance territory doesn’t that make it kind of weirdly sexist? I don’t know what to make of Pitch… but I’ll at least check it out.

Powerless (NBC):

Somewhat strangely this is the show I am most excited about this year. Vanessa Hudgens and Alan Tudyk (Yes, THAT Alan Tudyk) star in a show about Insurance adjusters who work in a world where super heroes (and super hero collateral) are very real problems. I don’t know… just looks interesting, and hey; Alan Tudyk.

Prison Break… again:

Nah.

24… again:

Nope.

Still Star-Crossed (ABC):

So… first off: Hate this title. Secondly: hate the show idea. You know all those fringe characters you didn’t care about in Romeo and Juliet? This show is about them. Yeah, this is set directly AFTER the death of Romeo and Juliet. And it just… it just looks terrible. I mean I know it’s Shonda Rhimes and her shows basically print their own money at this point but… who thought this was a good idea?? And can I never EVER watch it.

Taken (NBC):

And speaking of bad ideas… who watched Taken and thought “let’s a TV show based on this, but put it before these events and not cast Liam Neeson.” You know before Taken Bryan Mills wasn’t some trolling death machine, he was a bodyguard/agent. And without Liam Neeson this is just: “a show about a spy” and we have those. We have ton of those, Taken wasn’t awesome because it was a spy movie… it was awesome because of Liam Neeson. Ya moron.

taken

This hero’s beginning was when Liam Freekin’ Neeson started playing him. And not before.

 

So there you go guys… lots of me grouchily not liking things!! Just what you always wanted… right?

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Comments
  1. Schofie says:

    Taken – the show? They are no longer beating a dead horse. . . The horse has decayed completely and they are beating a whole into the ground and boring their way to China at this point. . .

  2. Micah says:

    Yup… TV Fall 2016, time of the dead horse!

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