Well hello Internet, and happy days. As we take our first tiny, and tentative steps into summer June offers a decidedly mixed bag of movies that doesn’t have the blockbuster appeal of July or May but also don’t have the utter sad sack of suck, that is January and February. So let’s dive on in and see what’s going on with the weekends of June!!

June 3rd:

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Yes We Really Made This: Look… it’s bad. Is it worse than the first movie? Who knows. This is the bottom of the barrel my friends, nothing is more the bottom of the barrel. There are not levels of barrel butts. There’s just the damp, reeky, moist scent of crushed dreams, and dead turtles. The one semi compliment I can offer to TMNT2 is that it’s a movie aimed squarely at kids and really doesn’t care what I think about it. This isn’t a Transformers movie trying to appeal to a wide audience, TMNT constantly goes for the cheap joke, the cheap laugh, and the expensive movie ticket. At least it doesn’t pretend to be anything else.


“So here’s a crazy idea… let’s not ever make any of these movies ever again.”


June 10th:

Warcraft: I talked about this a fair amount on Wednesday but suffice to say: this is not the video game movies we’ve all been waiting for. Warcraft is dragged down by its own world and is simultaneously kind of rushed, and also tedious in the wrong places. It’s not a terrible movie, and I’m sure if you’re a fan of the franchise you’ll get more out of it than your average movie goer, but this isn’t the movie that’s gonna bring video games to the cinema forever.

Now You See Me 2: Okay so, the first Now You See Me was a semi-hit that wasn’t really supposed to be, and if Hollywood has proven anything over the years it’s that there’s no vague success that it can’t ruin. I really enjoyed the first movie and really appreciated the visual effects, the cool ideas, and the overall twistiness of the plot. That said: the ending made VERY little sense. It was good, but it wasn’t great. So now along comes a sequel featuring most of the same cast and seemingly the same overall sense of style but… who knows what the story is about?? The trailers have been VERY vague and while I appreciate the need for some secrecy I’m more than a little concerned. That said I’ll probably see this, I appreciated the originality of the first one even if it did entirely drop the ball in the final act.


Somehow… somewhere… JJ Abrams is responsible for this.


June 17th

Finding Dory: That’s right folks. Strap on those nostalgia goggles cause here comes a classic “it’s probably been a little too long” sequel!! Let’s be clear: this will be a fun movie. There will be fish, and Dory, and probably some sharks and things trying to speak in whale or whatever. It’ll be good. But don’t go into this expecting something on the level of the original. This is classic “Monster University” syndrome. That movie was perfectly acceptable, but it’s best parts were when it made references to the original, and none of the new ideas were anything more than passably interesting. It was a good but forgettable movie, that’s what I’m expecting out of Finding Dory. Which is ironic… cause of that forgetting thing she does.


They seek her here, they seek her there, those fishies seek her everywhere… I’m just gonna assume no one else got that.


June 24th:

Independence Day: Resurgence: Is there such a thing as being so late to make a sequel to a movie that it actually becomes the perfect time to make a sequel to a movie?? Well we’re about to find out. Look, I’m strangely excited for this. I mean I enjoyed the original in a VERY “well that was good… for the time.” Sort of way. But this looks like they’ve upped the scale, got some great additions to the cast, brought back the people that counted (sorry Will Smith) and are poised to be the first really good alien invasion film since umm…  I don’t know… Signs?? The trailers for these have looked solid, the effects look great, this could be good times!! The best movie of June? It well could be good citizens. It well could be.

And there you go citizens, enjoy the month of June, and I’ll see you next week!

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