Well hi Internet and welcome back to Micah’s Annual Summer Questions and Movie Related Queries about Movies that Will be Released in the Summer. Or as the plebians call it:

Summer Questions 2016: Part 3


After a brief hiatus for a Captain America review and some horrendous illness, we’re back to finish what we started low those many moons ago, starting of course with:

1. How disappointing will Ghostbusters be?


Not as much as it will be painted to be I promise you that. Look: this will be fine. It probably won’t be great, but it won’t be terrible. That said: The internet will freak out about this. And hate it. The trailers don’t look bad, the cast is awesome, but the Internet just won’t stand for something new and different that affects their ability to enjoy the original. Cause after all this is the Internet, where there’s nothing quite so much fun as hating something that probably doesn’t deserve it.


Think of those ghosts as irrationally angry internet people and you’re getting pretty close to this movies reception.

2. Is Star Trek Beyond really a movie that’s happening?


Umm… I’m pretty sure. I mean as far as I know it IS coming out I just… don’t think I care. From the trailer it just looks like the makers of Star Trek sat down and watched Guardians of the Galaxy and then said… “Oh we can do that.” I’m one of apparently six people who actually REALLY liked Star Trek: Into Darkness, but I just can’t make myself care about this one. Maybe I’m burned out on the series, or on space movies, or maybe I don’t see the point of having a Star Trek movie if JJ Abrams isn’t going to tell VERY obvious lies about it. I don’t know this one has something about aliens who really like those mud facials or something though so… do with that what you will.


“This is so good for my pores!”


3. Has Suicide Squad become DC’s best chance at making a decent movie?

Yes. Yes it has. I mean every other corner of the DC Universe is currently populated with growly, short tempered, self-pitying morons who stop fighting because they have similarly named family members. That said DC has always had a very interesting villains gallery so maybe it’s just destiny that this is how they make their first really great movie since the Dark Knight (which also featured a great villain.) The trailers look good, the cast is strong, and so far they’ve managed not to give away major plot points! So they’re apparently getting better all the time.

4. Who asked for a Pete’s Dragon remake?


That is by the far the furriest dragon I have ever seen. Is it like… part Teddy Bear?


Pretty sure it was literally no one. I’m pretty sure it was a typo, or a clerical error. Or maybe there was some sort of bet made where if Marvel could succesfully make Ant-man, Disney had to try and re-make Pete’s Dragon. On the plus side: this movie stars someone named Oakes Fegley. So that’s pretty sweet.

5. What is Florence Foster Jenkins actually about? 


All of those nice things refer to Meryl Streep specifically. Those people didn’t even need to see the movie.


I don’t know but Meryl Steep is a gift dang it! A gift!!!!! And this honestly looks pretty good! It looks charming and uplifiting and I’m up for the occasional charm and the rare uplift. I said rare!! Rare. No I’m not losing my edge. Leave my alone! I hate you!

And with that final meltdown: I bid summer questions ado. Check back in next Thursday as I try and find the worst Disney Animated movie ever.

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