Summer Questions 2016: Part 1

Posted: April 29, 2016 by Micah in Randomnicity
Tags: , , , , , ,

Well guys, we’re back. Back at the official kickoff of summer, summer movies, and my annual set of lengthy summer tanning expeditions… I mean questions. Summer questions. As a rule, I do not go outside. Ever.

Question 1: Can Captain America: Civil War live up to the hype??

Marvel’s first movie of the year has been the official start of the summer for a while now and after last years somewhat disappointing (though I really liked it) Age of Ultron, this years entry looks to build on with the Russo brothers as the official new Grand High Highnesses of the Marvel Universe.

Civil War

Oh yeah… it’s gonna be that good. And also in Spanish… apparently.

 

Honestly, everything I’ve heard about Civil War so far has been VERY positive. Great outing for Cap and Iron Man alike and a good balance between Marvel’s more lighthearted take on comics, and some increased drama as heroes face off. I’ve really been trying to temper my own expectations but as of now I think this thing is gonna be fantastic. Really looking forward to seeing how these events change things up headed into Infinity Wars and excited to see some good old fashioned hero faceoffs! Welcome back Marvel, we missed you!!

Question 2: Do we really need an Angry Birds movie?

Probably not. I mean I don’t think this will be a bad movie but I don’t expect it to reach anything beyond “decent kids movie” status. The trailers look fine, the story seems passable, and the voice cast looks good but I haven’t seen anything to show me that this is even TRYING to be anything more than a decent kids movie. Which is fine. Be decent. Do you. Bird Angry.

angry bird

So he’s flying… just like in that game you played two years ago… while you were in the bathroom.

 

Question 3: Do we need Alice in Wonderland: Through the Looking Glass even less?

Ha ha ha. Yes. Very much so. This thngs gonna suck real bad. And that’s not just me saying that, Disney thinks this thing is gonna suck. Why else would they bury it by releasing on the same day as X-men: Apocalypse? Disney doesn’t want you to watch this movie. They just green-lit it at some point because they have ALL the money and it was either make Alice in Wonderland 2, or enslave a small nation state in Europe.

Trailers have looked kinda sad and soulless, Johnny Depp looks entirely asleep, and Mia Wasichowski… well it’s really hard to tell what’s going on with her… what with that one facial expression and all.

Question 4: How Hilariously bad will The Trust be?

Oh. Oh it’s gonna be great. In it’s hilarious badness. I mean look at this poster!

trust

It’s like they’re trying to make bad movies at this point.

 

Appreciate the Nic Cage Mustache. The Elijah Wood drug addict beard. Whatever is happening on both of their respective heads. I mean this is a perfect storm of wonderfully bad things.

Question 5: How will X-men Apocalypse measure up?

The X-men franchise has been… reliably good. X-men: First Class is still probably the best movie in the series but Days of Future past was pretty good. Apocalypse seems like it will be good. I’m not expecting greatness here, X-men tends to be a little heavy handed with the drama and a little soft handed with the character development… Soft handed is probably pretty weird huh? Gonna need to never say that again.

xmen

Alas Poor Yorick… I crushed him well.

 

Anywho, I’m waiting for this streak of good movies to end… I don’t think this is it, but I don’t think it will be awesome. I’m expecting a solid movie here. Nothing great, nothing terrible. I’ll watch it, I’ll enjoy it, we’ll all listen to Sophie Turner try really hard to do an American accent… and probably not do real well.

So there you go guys! Your first batch of Summer Questions for ye olde 2016!! Check back next week for more questions, and potentially FAR less answers.

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