Box Office Top Ten 3/11/2016

Posted: March 11, 2016 by Micah in Randomnicity

Well hey Internet, and welcome back to March! March: When Hollywood remembers that people actually want to watch movies. So let’s go ahead and take a look at our top ten movies in the box office right now and talk about which ones you should see and which ones you should under absolutely no circumstances ever look at with the naked (or clothed) eye.

Box Office Top Ten 3/11/2016

Number 10: The Witch

Slinking in at number 10 this week is horror movie ‘The Witch.’ A horror movie that is by all account ‘good for a horror movie.’ So if you like horror movies, maybe see ‘The Witch’ and that’s about as high praise as I’m willing to give it. Or most horror movies. Except for Cabin in the Woods… Cabin in the Woods is a national treasure.

Number 9: Eddie the Eagle

Did the sports movie die, guys?? I mean, it’s not Eddie the Eagle’s fault. This is actually a pretty good movie, the story is inspirational, the cast is likeable, it’s really well done. But for some reason it never really got any traction at the box office. Did the super-hero movie replace the sports movie??? I don’t know… it’s weird… and incomplete. Kind of like this thought. And this sentence. On a serious note: this is a good movie. Go watch it.


Eddie the Eagle: Destined to become this years “that sports movie”


Number 8: The Revenant

Yup, it’s still here.  Decaprio still gets mostly killed and partially buried by a bear. I mean, look, it’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with it and it is beautifully shot, but it doesn’t really spend a lot of time with it’s story or characters. It just sort of says what people will do, and then those people do that thing, no matter how many bears try and stop them.

Number 7: Kung Fu Panda 3

Yup, it’s still here… it’s still a Kung Fu Panda movie. If you’re looking for a kids movie watch Zootopia, this is fine but you’ve seen it before.

Number 6: Risen

An interesting take on the resurrection of Christ, starring Joseph Fiennes (Voldermorts brother) as a Roman centurion charged with investigating the resurrection. It’s almost Easter so this and the surprisingly well reviewed ‘The Young Messiah’ are hoping to pull in Christian audiences and both seem to be perfectly respectable at what they are doing. No bunnies were harmed in the making of these movies.


What do you mean I just put this picture here so I could spell Fiennes correctly?


Number 5: Gods of Egypt

No matter what sort of movie you like: it is not this movie. If you’re super interested in this (and hey I’m moderately interested in the visual stylings) just wait for when it inevitably makes its sad way to Netflix. I give it… six months after DVD release.

Number 4: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Tina Fey, Martin Freeman, and Margot Robbie come together to make a decent movie, pretty good. It’s predictable and nothing overly deep but it banks heavily on the strength of its cast, and while the cast doesn’t let it down it can only lift the movie up so high. To where the eagles cry. On a mountain high.

Number 3: Deadpool

Parents: Do not take your kids to see Deadpool. It’s not a kids movie. It’s a good movie, and it has a superhero in it. But it’s not for your kids. This has been your weekly reminder.


Deadpool: Draws like a kid, swears like an adult… three or four adults in fact.


Number 2: London has Fallen

This movie makes me sad. I’m sad it exists. I’m sad Morgan Freeman is in it. I’m sad that this is what we gave back to Britain when they’ve given us Doctor Who, Sherlock, and so many other wonderful things. It’s just sad.

Number 1: Zootopia

Go see Zootopia. It’s great. It looks great, it’s got a great script, and a really solid voice cast. I don’t know if it’s as good as Inside Out, but it’s right up there. Very well done.


“Look at it! Look at the movie goodness!!”


So there you go guys, a little bit on the shorter side today but that’s what you get when you make me write on a Friday. Ya jerks.

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