Box Office Top Ten 11-16-2015

Posted: November 17, 2015 by Micah in Randomnicity
Tags: , , , ,

Well hey gang, we’ve been bouncing all over this here internet in the past few weeks, what with Comic Strips, and Grosses and what all so I figured it might be nice to sit down on the old couch, light a fire, and talk about the box office. The big bad box office of November a month with a real real high highest movie and a real real low lowest movie. Let’s rock it out!

Box Office Top Ten 11-16-2015

Number 10: The Last Witch Hunter

Tripping into the box office’s top spot with an audible face to the ground ‘thunk’ is Vin Diesels the Last Witch Hunter. Vin Diesel does his traditional ‘growly growly mumble growl’ acting with all the gusto and ‘charisma’ we’ve come to expect from him but the movie just doesn’t have any kind of coherent plot or vague directional strength. It’s just sort of the film equivalent of throwing a bunch of gravel at a wall and then letting Vin Diesel growl at that gravel all about how much he wants to stab some witches. It’s not great. Or good.

vin-diese

Beard fest 2015: Bearder and Badder then ever.

 

Number 9: Hotel Transylvania 2

And speaking of not good, here’s Hotel Transylvania!! The very definition of ‘well… that was a movie.’ Granted ‘that was a movie’ is about as high as Adam Sandler can shoot for at this point so maybe we should look on the bright side and say that as long as he’s making these mediocre but mostly harmless children’s movies, he’s not making ridiculously horrendous, mind numbingly stupid adult movies… so that’s something.

Number 8: Prem Ratan Dhan Payo

Wait, what? I don’t… I’m not even sure what I just typed up there. Hang on a sec…  ‘A charitable, happy-go-lucky man (Salman Khan) embarks on a mission to meet a generous princess (Sonam Kapoor) who helps people.’ So that seems… good? Right?? It’s a Bollywood movie so, that’s pretty cool. That said, I have no idea what this title means and I’m not exactly sure if I’m allowed to type it in front of the eyes of children.

Number 7: Bridge of Spies

Tom Hanks stars in a movie about a Bridge… which is spied on?? Or a bridge made of spies??? Regardless, Stephen Spielberg directed it so you know its got to be good right? I mean Spielberg could direct a damp towel in a production of Flowers for Algernon and I’d probably still be tearing up by the end of things.

Number 6: Goosebumps

It’s  a kid-ish horror-ish comedy-ish sort of movie starring Jack Black… ish. It’s a decent movie that gets by on charm, and variety more then any kind of strength in character or script but it’s a fun romp through some horror-ish settings and especially if you were a fan of the book series you’ll have an enjoyable ride here.

Goosebumps1

It’s like School of Rock, but with monsters!! Which actually I would sign up for.

 

Number 5: The 33

Antonio Banderas leads the charge in a movie telling the story of the Chilean miners who were trapped for 69 days without any outside food, water, or print outs of my articles. What could be more terrible??? It’s a good movie but it’s nothing insane or groundbreaking. It’s weird to say about a movie like this, but The 33 just doesn’t push the envelope far enough and ends up just sort of blending in with the crowd of other ‘inspiring survival story’ movies. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s not a great thing either.

Number 4: The Martian

The highest rated movie on this list on Rotten Tomatoes, The Martian tells a great story about Mark Watney, an astronaut abandoned on Mars and forced to jury rig together enough supplies to survive. I’m currently reading/listening to the book on this and it is also very good, as is this movie. There’s a reason it’s hanging around this high on the list after so many weeks in Theaters. If you haven’t made the time to see this yet, I would hop along to your little work shop, pulls out your hammer and nails, and make that time Cherry Wine!!

That won’t be a thing… I promise.

Number 3: Love the Coopers

Hey look, it’s a mediocre movie with a shoddy script, starring the plaster covered death face of Amanda Seyfried. It’s a wonderful Holiday tradition!! Wait, John Goodman??? Get out of there John Goodman!! Save yourself!! Go voice another beloved animated character! Stay away from Amanda!!

Number 2: The Peanuts movie

Charlie Brown returns to the big screen with a resounding missed kick of a football. The Peanuts movie is a great, relaxed, journey through the fantastic mind of Charles Schulz. It’s not a movie that tries to be anything other then what it is, so if you’re looking for an ‘Inside Out’ make you cry your childhood out through your eyes, style experience that’s not what you’re getting here. What you are getting is a funny, sweet, and endearing story of everyones favorite underdog and his dog. Of Underness.

Number 1: Spectre

A James Bond movie that critics have universally agreed is: ‘A movie, that features James Bond.’ Spectre continues the Daniel Craig run of Bond movies, introducing new villains, new ladies, and some classic ejector seat action. At this point, you know exactly what this movie is if you’ve seen any of the other Craig Bond movies. It’s not as good as Casino Royale, it’s WAY better then Quantum of Solace and it’s right in the same neighborhood as Skyfall. It’s fine. Passable. James Bond things happen. Daniel Craig has been VERY vocal about his (for lack of a better term) ‘Bond fatigue’ and while Spectre is still well worth watching much like it’s lead actor the Craig Bond movies are starting to lose some of their luster. Probably the best thing these movies have going for them right now is the guy playing Q and he’s only in the thing for like ten minutes.

Bond

Behind these glasses is a man who has lost all hope.

 

I feel like this is all coming across as very negative but it really shouldn’t. There’s nothing wrong with Spectre, it’s just not anything you haven’t seen before. If you’re a fan of the Craig run (which let the record, show I am,) you’ll be a fan of this. If not, there’s really nothing here to change your mind.

And there you have it Internet, a nice, fireside chat just like we used to have before all these new fangled countdowns, and comic strip offs… Okay, I’ll admit that sounded WAY weirder when I typed it then I though it would. The comic strips weren’t stripping off, I was facing them off, and they are comic strips… somehow this isn’t getting any better so I’m just gonna stop while I’m only marginally behind. I’ll catch ya on the flip side.

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