Judging Covers: 10-29-2015

Posted: October 29, 2015 by Micah in Randomnicity
Tags: , , , , ,

Internet!! Welcome back to Thursday. That’s right folks we’re getting back to core values here and actually posting on the days that I’m supposed to post! I know, it’s a little crazy, a little out there, but we’re just gonna roll with it and see what happens! So full credit going to whom said full credit is due this article was partially inspired and completely transported by the post of one Jon who said in words so epic and poetic:

Jon- Any thoughts on the New Force Awakens Trailer?

And how could I, lowly mortal that I am, turn down such an urgent and beautiful request as that? Such an honest, heartfelt plea, for my wisdom, my insight, my ability to leap to ungainly conclusions without all of the facts? This bold’s for you Jon.

Judging Covers 10/29/2015 

The Force Awakens 

Hang on… gonna need a minute for my nerdy heartbeat to return to normal. Okay… okay we’re good. Look, this trailer has been analyzed, penalized, and alphabetized all over the internet so for the sake of non-redundancy I’m not gonna get into a frame by frame break down of the trailer. But here are my general thoughts on a few key parts of the trailer.

The Cast: Looks real strong. Somebody somewhere must be constantly handing Harrison Ford 100 dollar bills cause man does he look… alive. Which is more then can be said of anything he’s done in what?? Ten years??? Obviously this is a ridiculously small sample size but if Harrison Ford bought into this movie and we can some vintage Han Solo I’m calling this a success right now. The rest of the cast looks pretty solid too and I’m particularly excited to see what happens with the new villain Kylo Ren and to see what Adam Driver (a very talented guy) does with it.

The Plot: Obviously we know very little for certain here so please take everything I’m about to type as complete and utter conjecture. The plot seems to mostly revolve around Finn (the Stromtrooper) and Rey (the (not to be sexist) woman) who meet up with Han and Chewie presumably looking for Luke (who has yet to appear in ANY of the adds for this film except for probably as that cloaked guy with with the robo-hand. But if we know anything about Star Wars it’s that EVERYONE loses a hand at some point so that could literally be any character ever. Anyway, I hope we don’t do another super-weapon here as two of the three originals went the super weapon route and the one that didn’t (Empire) is easily the best one. That said the poster does seem to feature some kind of super weapon in the background.

That thing in the top left is either a super weapon or robot eye of Sauron... which is an idea I could get behind.

That thing in the top left is either a super weapon or Robot Eye of Sauron… which is an idea I could get behind.

In conclusion: I am VERY excited about this. Very. I was excited for the Prequels too and those were (to be generous) terrible piles of sludge. But this just feels different, it’s an actual sequel, there’s a new guy in charge, and it just seems to be headed in the right direction. Sure, it could still be a disappointment but everything we’ve seen so far looks solid so why not just enjoy the anticipation and hope for the best!!

The Ridiculous Six 

I’m not putting the trailer on here. Because I care too much about you. Do yourself a favor and just watch the Star Wars trailer again. This is Adam Sandlers first movie with Netflix and it literally looks exactly like what you think an Adam Sandler movie set in the old west would look like. Dumb. Pandering. More then a little racist. That’s it. Move along. Nothing to see here. Seriously. Don’t watch it.

A Very Murray Christmas 

I don’t believe more people aren’t freaking out about this! This looks great, Bill Murray, Amy Poehler, George Clooney, and a bunch of other cool people (and Miley Cyrus) all get together in what looks like a really cool tribute to the old school Christmas Specials of old… Schools. It just looks great and all set to sit down with a nice cup of hot chocolate and just enjoy the wonderfulness… don’t let me down Murray.

Ratchet and Clank 

Oh, also this is happening. So ya know… hello childhood. I missed you. Seriously, this should be awesome. Could be awesome, but then again the last time we did the whole ‘Video Game Movie’ thing we got Hitman 2: No Seriously We Made Another One, and that was just the worst. So call me a pessimist but in this case I’m working with a fairly empty glass that has a hole in it and has already proved MULTIPLE times to be completely incapable of holding water.

And there you go Jon and Co. Co. and Jon. And other Inc’s, Co’s, and Ltd’s. Hope you enjoyed it, have a happy halloween and I’ll see you, in November!

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