Hey Internet, usually this is where I ask you how your weekend was or what you’re up to or how many woodchucks would possibly or presumably eat, a certain amount of wood or wood-like substance, but we’re not doing that today. Today we’re getting right down to Business. The biznasty. The busy-body. The bizlatitude. The Bismark, North Dakota.
Box Office Top Ten
10. The Perfect Guy
Slinking in at number 10 with a 2.4 million dollar week (that’s not a lot) the perfect guy tells the boring predictable horror/thriller story of a handsome stranger trying to murder a woman in her house. You’ve seen everything this movie has to offer before… move along.
9. War Room
Something something, family and hard times and temptations. If this is your type of movie you’ve already seen it, if it isn’t you haven’t and won’t. So… that’s all I got.
8. The Visit
Writer/Director/Spelling bee nightmare M. Night Shyamalan returns to semi-good form with The Visit. The visit features two children (because of course it does) who go to their grandparents and die of boredom. Or potentially actual death. In a dark, disturbing, little red riding hood on crack sort of way. Welcome back M. we missed you??? Maybe?
A movie about… well, Everest, starring Jake Gyllenhall, Jake Gyllenhalls manly beard, and some other people without Jake Gyllenhalls manly beard, Everest tells the stories of some climbers who climb things with a moderate amount of success/death. Look this is undoubtedly a bueatifully shot movie with some incredible camera work but storywise it’s nothing you haven’t seen before. Men try to climb mountain, some men fall off mountain, some men stay on mountain, end of movie. But that mountain looks fantastic!
6. Black Mass
Johnny Depp goes bald and punches a lot of people. That’s a rough synopsis, but honestly it’s a pretty good movie on the whole if you’re into the gangster genre. It’s not exactly my favorite type of story, but this is a solid story and the cast is VERY solid so it’s probably worth the watching.
5. Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials
The epic saga that no one has actually ever seen continues to shock and awe the seven or eight people who actually give a darn about it. This movie sits at exactly 50% on ye olde rottentomatoes.com and that’s a pretty good summary of this whole franchise. It’s by no means bad, but it’s the last sputtering sibling of the Hunger Games Young Adult movie family and you’re pretty much seen everything it has to offer already.
4. The Intern
Anne Hathaway and Robert De Niro star in a story about an older gentleman working as an intern for a young woman who owns a website. There’s nothing necessarily spectacular about this movie but it gets by on charm and the strength of its lead actors. De Niro and Hathaway are great and the script does just enough to make this a nice fun, feel good story about two worlds colliding.
Some great performances from Emily Blunt and Benicio del Toro anchor this hyper realistic VERY violent story about the drug war in mexico. This is another genre story so if this is your genre check it out but it is VERY R rated so… ya know… brace for that.
2. Hotel Transylvania 2
Adam Sandler and his group of the same people who are in all his movies come together to create another mediocre, childish movie filled with predictable ‘laughs’ and a cliché message. At least this movie has the slight excuse of being actually aimed at children rather than just made by them.
1. The Martian
A small alien with a weird voice lands on earth to antagonize bugs bunny and… oh wait no sorry… wrong Martian.
A man who is abandoned on Mars must survive on the barren Marsy Marsland until his merry band of space friends return to save him. It’s based off a really good book and is by all accounts an excellent, well put together movie. It’s at the top of the box office and the very top of my recommended movies for the week. Check it out!
So there you go guys, a shorter post for the day, but a post none the less, check back Thursday when I answer some more fan mail! Email firstname.lastname@example.org and get your questions in on time!