All right guys, so thanks for all the great feedback from the Doctor Who rankings and thanks (for the most part) for not being enraged inter-types. You all are fantastic. We got some great comments on the site and some great emails to email@example.com and as such, in honor of the return of Doctor Who this Saturday, I’m gonna write the ultimate Mega Doctor Who blog of awesome!!!
And also of terrible.
So Katrina (a positive person) asked for the top 10 episodes of Doctor Who in the comments section.
And Nathan (an assumedly very negative person) asked for the bottom ten Doctor Who episodes via said email address.
So who gets what they ask for?? Well, like all great parents over the years, I’m going to give you both part of what you wanted, thereby making neither of you entirely happy!!
The Top 5 Doctor Who Episodes
Okay guys not gonna lie to you…. I can’t do just 5. And sure I could go back and change all that stuff over there. But you know what that wouldn’t be?? Honest. And ya know what it would be??? Work. So instead let’s just bold this little fella over and go for the full 10!!
Top 10 Doctor Who Episodes
10. Smith and Jones
I’m one of three people in the world who really liked Martha Jones. She was by far my favorite Tennant companion and her first episode (not counting that time she became a cyberman) was great. I love a good intro episode (as you will see as this list goes on) and this one was great! There was (after all) a platoon of Judoon upon the Moon.
9. Closing Time
Okay let’s get one thing out of the way: the end of this episode was real dumb. Craig killed the Cybermen with love. Not cool. The rest of the episode was fantastic though and featured one of my favorite Doctor Who moments ever as the Doctor explained the universe to little Stormageddon.
8. The 50th Anniversary Episode!… whatever that was called.
Great episode, the War Doctor was fantastic, Smith and Tennant were great, and all the nerds slept well that night.
7. The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances
Hey look! It’s Christopher Eccleston!! You didn’t think he’d make this list did ya? Well here he is, for one of the straight up most terrifying episodes of Doctor Who ever. You will never look at gas masks the same again.
6. The Eleventh Hour
If you’re trying to get someone into Doctor Who this is probably the episode they should watch. New doctor, new companion, whole new epic series culminating in one of the best finale’s ever (more on this later.) As has been stated I’m Team Tennant all the way but if you’re looking for a starting point this might be the best one, Tennant’s first episode already had Rose and he spends most of it unconscious anyway. Smith and Jones has Martha’s mother who is potentially the most annoying person ever to appear on a screen, and Eccleston’s first episode is… well it’s not great. Anyway, fantastic episode.
5. Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead
Another brilliant/terrifying entry from Stephen Moffat (like 80% of this list are episodes written by him in case you hadn’t noticed.) This is the first episode with River Song AND just a great story with a ton of tension and a genuinely terrifying villain. I actually re-edited this script into a one man show because I am THAT much of a nerd.
4. The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang
Doctor Who finales have honestly struggled a lot over the years. They tend to try and do too much and end up losing the core characters of the show in a lot of running around and ‘epicness.’ They go for scale, rather than characters which is odd seeing as most of the great episodes of the show focus on small stories where we get a cool look at our characters or villains. That said, this is the greatest finale ever. It’s a small story that resolves itself beautifully and puts a great bow on an incredible season (the best season ever as we recently learned.)
Before we start the top 3 let me just say that one of the great things about these episodes is that they are stand alone. You don’t need to know anything about Doctor Who to understand how great these episodes are. They’re just great.
3. The Doctor’s Wife
Oh Neil Gaiman, you beautiful crazy headed, man you. The Doctor’s wife is an incredible, emotional ride that really hits home in every way. The Doctor finally meets the Tardis, Amy and Rory run around for a while, and… ya know what?? I’m just gonna put a quote here and you try and not have an emotional response, okay?
Ah, Blink. The reason I cannot walk in any garden where there are statues without constantly looking behind me. It’s terrifying and wonderful and while the Doctor isn’t even really the main character he’s in it just enough to be awesome. If you enjoy the idea of never really being able to close your eyes again, this is the episode for you.
1. The Girl in the Fireplace
Yup, I said it last blog and (somewhat astonishingly) I have managed not to change my mind over the last two days. This is the greatest Doctor Who episode ever. It has a scary and interesting villain, some great humor, and an incredibly emotional finale. It gives us a different view of the Doctor and lets us get a look at what it might be like to see him from the view of a normal human. It’s incredible and emotional and funny and the ultimate culmination of exactly what makes Doctor Who great. And yes: Stephen Moffat.
Okay, let’s carry on with the Bottom 5 shall we? Nice and smooth and easy and then we can all go home! … Once I’m done yelling at people.
The Bottom 5
Okay so… let’s see if I can keep this down to 5 shall we??? I can do it guys!! I believe!!!! In me. … This seems like a poor plan.
5. The Lazarus Experiment
“Ya know what would be great? If we took an episode and had someone get older and younger and older and then ate some people and then he was naked.” It’s not the worst episode ever… cause, ya know, this is number 5. But it’s just very blech. Nothing happens, Martha’s mom is in it, and it just sort of meanders around for a while before spluttering out and dying naked and in a church… literally.
4. Turn Left
As has been stated, I am not a fan of Donna Noble and this episode is not only pretty much ALL Donna Noble it’s just dumb. It’s interesting to see what a Doctor-less world would be but that interest quickly dissolves and we’re left with forty minutes of people wandering around not having adventures of any sort. It was boring and dumb and uninteresting.
3. Daleks Take Manhattan/Evolution of the Daleks
The Daleks have not aged well. They’re weird looking rolly aliens who (for real terrible reasons) have plungers for arms. I kind of get why someone thought “let’s make a Daleck/human hybrid” but umm… this was not a good idea. Not only was it badly written and poorly conceived but the whole thing was just… terrible. There were human/pigs and Dalek/humans and some genuinely terrible New York accents and the whole thing was just one long, horrible panorama of bad ideas, and worse visuals.
2. Aliens of London/World War 3
Cause nothing says cool space adventures like being chased around by a punch of people wearing baggy, cheap alien suits and dozens and dozens of fart jokes. It’s like for a day someone sat down and said to themselves ‘what is the single least appealing thing we can possibly do?’ and this is what they came up with. If for some reason you want to KEEP someone from watching Doctor Who, these are the episodes to make them watch. Even the worst episode on this list at least could have the excuse of “well the Doctor wasn’t really in it” but these are just so mind numbingly terrible they are without excuse.
1. Love & monsters
If you’ve watched this episode there is no reason to explain my putting it at number 1. The Doctor is barely in it. The main character is a strange man who dances around in his room for huge portions of the show. The villain is a huge… something that absorbs people’s faces… maybe. And in the end a woman becomes (and I am not making this up) a piece of sidewalk. It’s the worst. Ever.
So there you go guys. We did it. Happy Doctor Who!!! Happy Weekend. And Happy… days?