Well hey Internet, and welcome to Thursday. Happy times, good life… Or something. Anyway, today I’m proud to present our third(ish) audience mailbag!! You can send us emails at firstname.lastname@example.org just like these awesome people did, and get your questions answered, your pictures taken, and your brakes cleaned.
Question 1: Have you watched Pixels? I heard it was terrible. – Eric
No I haven’t, Eric. And I won’t. And it is. I generally don’t judge things without seeing them. I read a Twilight book before I decided I hated Twilight. I had a piece of Dominoe’s new and improved pizza before I realized it still tasted like gravel and a tube of caulk had an unattractive child. Similarly I do not need to see a movie that has Adam Sandler and Kevin James in it to know that it will be terrible. Also it has gotten an 18 percent on RottenTomatoes.com so it’s not exactly just me saying that. The saddest thing about that whole thing is this is actually a really good idea for a movie. Like I’d be all about this if it was a vague spin-off of the Wreck-It-Ralph franchise. But this was not that, it was a great idea given to two people who are utterly and entirely out of ideas. Like giving all of the ingredients for a delicious steak dinner to a vegetarian platypus, it’s just sort of a loss for everyone.
Question 2: How are you doing with the Red Sox this season? – Liz
The short answer Liz?? Not well. Really actually dramatically and very not well. It’s not just that we’re losing cause that happens, sometimes teams lose games, and we’ve had some good teams in the last few years so I get it. That said in the last three games we’ve lost by an accumulated four thousand seven hundred and eighty-nine runs to 4. And most of those runs we gave up were scored in the first inning. I don’t mind losing but it’s nice to at least be able to wonder if you could win for a few innings.
Question 3: Should I be excited or worried about the new deadpool movie? – Doug
Why not be excited, Doug? I mean we know virtually nothing about the movie at this point but hey, it could be good. Ryan Reynolds works for that role and it’ll be rated R so hopefully Deadpool can be Deadpool and not ‘PG=13 Deadpool.’ So be excited Doug!! Play a drum, beat a gong, race through the streets with your head held high and your ears hanging low. When they actually release a full trailer for this thing we’ll have a better idea of whether or not it will work, but my guess is (like most things Deadpool is involved in) that this movie will be generally a good thing and a great thing for people who are already fans of Deadpool. It probably won’t make that much money for ye old Fox but it’ll be entertaining enough in its own way I expect.
Question 4: What do you think of the X-men Apocalypse pictures? Looks super different from the old movies. – Dan
Umm… I thought they were fine. I mean they’re pictures so I’m not gonna freak out one way or another though I will say that Apocalypse himself looks a little… underwhelming. I mean he’s supposed to be this horrifying force of nature typed person but he kind of just looks like a guy covered in an unfortunate amount of purple plato. Mohawk Storm looks great though!! But it’s hard to mess up Mohawk Storm. She’s Storm with a Mohawk.
Question 5: The X-files is coming back!! How excited are you? – Stephen
Umm… none. I am none excited. I have NEVER watched an episode of the X-files. Nor have I ever really wanted to. I never got big into the ‘Aliens live among us and it’s the 90’s!!!” Theme of that show. And once you’ve missed that bus you’ve just got to kind of let it keep driving. This is also why I never really got into Star Trek the TV show. At some point you’ve just got to admit that you missed it, and hope to catch the next big thing. Sorry Stephen.
So there you go guys!! Thoughts We Might Have Had: You’ve got questions, we’ve got sarcasm.