Weekly Headlines 6/25/2015

Posted: June 25, 2015 by Micah in Randomnicity

Internet! Welcome back, so a big thanks to all my readers and sharers out there! We had a huge day numbers wise on Tuesday so thank all of you for helping more people be able to violently disagree with my thoughts on Wall-E. You guys are the best.

I think.

Weekly Headlines 6/25/2015

Movie theater workers we’re relieved to find out that no major blockbusters were being released this week. After weeks of crowds and record breaking attendance theater workers were at last able to remove their butter scarred hands from the popcorn maker, change out their soda covered pants, and finally go home again.

In related news: the only big movie coming out this week is Ted 2. We asked reviewers what they thought of Ted 2 and they said it was ‘a movie that probably happened’ and ‘there were certain parts of it, during which I did not want to stab myself in the neck with a sickle.’ So… there’s that.

The only way to make Ted 2 less appealing to me than having it be a sequel to Ted 1 was putting Amanda Seyfried in it... so well done there.

The only way to make Ted 2 less appealing to me than having it be a sequel to Ted 1 was putting Amanda Seyfried in it… so well done there.

Meanwhile in other parts of the cinema Jurassic World continued to rampage around breaking things with it’s claws and smashing things with some of it’s spare billions of dollars in cash. When asked what it would do with it’s money the T-rex said “I’m going to Disney World!!! Wait wait– I mean Universal Studios… yeah… definitely Universal Studios…”

Universal Orlando: It's Like Disneyworld, but vastly inferior in everyway.

Universal Orlando: It’s Like Disneyworld, but vastly inferior in everyway.

In video game news Batman: Arkham Knight came out this week and all of my plans to be a productive member of society came to a grinding, messy, batman shaped halt.

A new trailer came out this week for Heroes: Reborn and we were all reminded, for just one brief shining moment that Heroes was not really very good, and that we really did not care.

Because this guy was in Heroes!!... We're pretty sure.

Because this guy was in Heroes!!… We’re pretty sure.

In other TV news Hannibal was recently cancelled. Both of its very dedicated fans, were very upset.

Also: filming began this week on ‘Star Trek 3: It’s Another Star Trek Movie.’ I actually like Wrath of Kahn but for some reason I’m having a real hard time caring about Star Trek 3. Maybe it’s because Star Wars is coming back and I hear the sweet lightsaber song of my homeland calling me back… Or maybe it’s cause JJ Abrams isn’t involved and he’s basically Sci-fi Superman right now. It’s a mystery… that I will choose to not care about anymore.

Finally, ‘Magic Mike 2: More Magic, More Mike’ hits theaters this week. I tried to get some thoughts on this from some women but they all just got this far away dreamy look that I get when I think about a large steak sandwich, and then they would tell me infatictly that they didn’t know what I was talking about, hadn’t seen the first movie and didn’t have most of the dance routines memorized. All the while they were twitching involuntarily and slowly backing towards their bedrooms. It was very strange.

And that’s it for this week guys! Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you Tuesday!

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