Audience! Welcome back to another new episode of a series so hilariously mistitled it’s just to painful to let go. But without further ado let’s go ahead and get to some news, notes, and nightly drinking… or something.

Terminator: Genysis just keeps being a movie. And now not only is it a movie built on a premise made of cardboard and Christmas tinsel, but not it’s showing off large portions of its plot!! I’m not gonna talk to much about it as I don’t want to give away what could generously be called a “plot” but it’s becoming something of a Hollywood trend to give away huge portions of your plot in trailers. For instance the Avengers: Age of Ultron gave away the Vision plot twist well before it needed to trailerwise. And Paul Blart 2 gave away the fact that it was a Paul Blart movie! Just inexcusable.

Tilda Swinton is supposedly being cast as “the Ancient One” in Marvel’s new Dr. Strange movie. This has somehow simultaneously make two groups angry, one group excited, and another group of people who frankly… could not care less. It has made the Asian population angry cause the ancient one is generally Asian and Tilda Swinton (while she is many things) is probably the least Asian person in the world. The Ancient One is also generally a man and Tilda is (as you may have noticed) also not that. On the happier side of things, women are happy. And as a society we enjoy happy women. But then there are people like myself and other well balanced citizens who think that Tilda Swinton is a really talented actress who is gonna be good for the part. And that’s really all that matters.

Tilda Swinton: Notoriously known for not being an Asian Man.

Tilda Swinton: Notoriously known for not being an Asian Man.

Jurassic World is coming out soon. I don’t know if you knew that or not cause the studio has been super secretive about it, but it is coming out.  I just thought you should know. In case you didn’t.

Batman: Arkham Knight comes out this month. For those of you who don’t know this series is quite potentially the best series of games ever. The best Batman games definitely, and the best reason for you and yours to go out and buy a PS4/Xbox One. This game promises even more Batman, even more punching and even less time spent interacting with real people in the real world. So… yay?

"We're showing increased awesomeness ratings, sir."

“We’re showing increased awesomeness ratings, sir.”

Taking first place at the box office this week was a movie called “San Andreas” wherein a bunch of stuff gets ruined, and Dwayne Johnson has large muscles… and that’s really the whole movie.

The other big movie that came out this week was Aloha a Cameron Crowe movie that multiple critics have called “A movie that probably happened.”

In some other news, somewhere people are playing tennis… for some reason?? I’m assuming either a Williams sister or some person whose name I could never ever dream of spelling correctly will win. So good for them. I’m sure they’re parents and all three of their non-parents fans will be very proud.

Tennis fans are notoriously impressed by serving platters.

Tennis fans are notoriously impressed by serving platters.

And hey, the Women’s World Cup starts this Saturday. Sure FIFA’s president just resigned and a huge portion of their leading members were arrested but ya know what?? You should still watch the women’s World Cup. It’s great soccer, good times, and they’re will probably be some Jurassic World trailers!! So that’s exciting.

Potentially the best thing that has ever happened in Canada. (non-moose category)

Potentially the best thing that has ever happened in Canada. (non-moose category)

And finally: I will be leaving this week to celebrate my anniversary to my wonderful and long suffering wife. As such, I will not be posting this Thursday or at all next week. You’ll all have to just try and muddle through without me. Where am I going you ask?? Pssh… A little place called Mind, YoBusiness, USA!! (ZING!!) No, seriously though, I’m coming to your house. So, prep for that.

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