Summer Questions 2015: Part 2

Posted: April 28, 2015 by Micah in Randomnicity
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Well hey Internet… I’ve been saying that a lot lately. I’ve got to come up with a new catchy hip greeting huh??

Well… Whatsup. Webternites.

That went terribly.

Anyway, fortunately for us all today I don’t need to come up with some ridiculously convoluted introductory piece (even though I sort of did) because today we continue our epic summer kick-off journey entitled!!

Summer Questions: Part 2 

Can Pitch Perfect 2 top the original?? 

I don’t know… I want to say no. But far be it from me to underestimate the skills of Anna Kendrick and Rebel Wilson. I mean no one thought Pitch Perfect would be good and it was somehow fantastic. I guess that’s what worries me about a sequel. Pitch Perfect was a bunch of random ingredients thrown into a pot with some water, some oregano, a pinch of pinch pierson, and just a little dash of zombie thumb and it was amazing. Trying to replicate that sort of random conglomeration of star alignatiude just seems SUPER far fetched to me. That said, let us once more remember: Anna Kendrick, Rebel Wilson, and a great cast of supporting actors. At the very least I think it’s a solid movie, if not as awesome as we want it to be.

"I'm sorry are you... hating, on us?"

“I’m sorry are you… hating, on us?”

Do you care about Mad Max? 

Nope. Not at all. Nothing rings with the hollow sound of Hollywoods re-booting boot quite like Mad Max this summer. I’m sure it will be all sorts of dark and edgy and will have multitudes of dunes and dune buggies and dune babies, but in the end it won’t work. It’s a bunch of spare parts clumped together by a mad squirrel attempting to break the time-acorn continuum but in the end it’ll just be so much roadkill. Sorry Max. Don’t be mad.

This movie is so gritty that the grit in its teeth is covered in its own grit from its own gritty teeth which are made of grit.

This movie is so gritty that the grit in its teeth is covered in its own grit from its own gritty teeth which are made of grit.

What on Earth is Tomorrowland about? 

No idea. And kind of also don’t care. I can’t really point to a specific reason I don’t care I just sort of… don’t. I’m not saying it’ll be a bad movie necessarily but I can only watch so many George Clooney voiceovers and shots of some blond woman being scared by a button before I start to suspect you’re deliberately hiding something. Sure it’s basically gonna be “Harry Potter with Science” and hey, maybe it’ll be great, I don’t know. I’m just saying I’m tired of Disney being all weird and coy with this movie. Either show me your chocolates or close down your chocolate store!!! Man… my analogies are gettin’ weird.

Will Insidious Chapter 3— 

Shut-up, no one cares.

Will Ted 2— 

… … … … …

Both of these movies will be terrible. They are sequels no one asked for to things that weren’t that great in the first place. The equivalent of serving someone a mediocre ham sandwich and then coming back two years later with a worse version of that sandwich and clubbing them to death with it.

What will Mr. Holmes actually be like? 

First off: It will be like sunshine my friend. Wonderful, fantastical sunshine… on a spotless mind. That said: I can’t decide. Half of the trailer looks like it’ll be this really cool/heartwarming look at Ian McKellen playing on old Watson recounting/having his last great case. The other half though looks like it’ll be this sort of last depressing look back at all of Holmes regrets as he lives out the last few years of his life, filled with regrets.

Because Sir Ian. That's why.

Because Sir Ian. That’s why.

Both of those would be great movies, but personally I hope for the first. I’m as big a fan as real/true to life movies that make you confront truths about yourself but (and maybe this is just me) the world seems to have gotten a little more depressing lately, and I could use just that little extra push that watching Sir Ian McKellen play Sherlock Holmes will give me. So here’s to you Mr. Holmes, may you lift our spirits, as I raise my glass to good old Sir Ian.

So, there you go guys, check back on Thursday for my final round of questions!! As ever: thanks for reading!!

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