Internet!! Sheesh what a weekend. It seems like there was nothing BUT new trailers for movies that I alternatively am RIDICULOUSLY excited about and movies that I am HORRENDOUSLY dreading. There were four really big trailers out this weekend and here’s a breakdown of how I felt about each before I dramatically reveal which is which.

Trailer 1: Wasn’t excited, am now at least a little intrigued. Warily interested is probably the best word for it.

Trailer 2: Was fairly apathetic about it, remain fairly apathetic about it.

Trailer 3: Was very excited, am now very more excited… Or something.

Trailer 4: Was excited, then wasn’t excited, and am now just sort of confused.

Trailer 5: Wasn’t excited, remain unexcited.

And now with no further fanfare, here are the trailers and my thoughts… that I might have had. Roll credits.

Trailer 1:  Wasn’t excited, am now at least a little intrigued. Warily interested, is probably the best word for it.

The Fantastic Four

Yeah… I don’t know. First off stretchy powers are still the worst idea ever, but I could see myself at least moderately enjoying this movie. It looks darker and grittier without necessarily going over the top (more on this later.) The characters seems likable, the powers (non Mr. Fantastic category) are interesting and it seems like they’re doing something to mix up the premise at least a little bit (some sort of alternate reality thing??) Anyway, I’m not necessarily excited for this movie, but I moved from “decidedly uninterested” to “intrigued” so I guess that’s something for the old Fantastic Four.

Trailer 2: Was fairly apathetic about it, remain fairly apathetic about it.

Terminator: Genysis

Oh Terminator… please stop. Look, I get it, the first two were pretty good. But do you realize that after Terminator 3 (terrible) and Terminator Shout Till You Can’t Shout No More this series has produced just as many bad movies as good movies?? And then you added onto that your complete inability to spell the word Genesis and my faith is shaken. And let’s be clear: I had VERY little faith to shake. But that little faith is jiggling like jello during a space launch.

Sure Arnold vs. Arnold is interesting but why is the robot old??? Are we even gonna try to explain that or are we just going to ignore it. I get that Arnold Schwarzeneger is an integral part to the series but if you’re going to re-boot Terminator, just re-boot it. Get rid of Arnold and make a new movie with a new premise that occasionally nods at its predecessors. Don’t try and drag a 90 year old around a movie set and pretend that it totally makes sense. It MIGHT be a decent action movie. Maybe. But I’m thinking this is one robot we may need to just shut down.

Trailer 3: Was very excited, am now very more excited… Or something.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens 

I feel like the only things I need to say about this commercial is that when I heard Han Solo say “Chewie” I almost cried. And then they appeared on screen and while my face remained dry and manly, my tiny nerd soul wept like a tiny nerd girl. Person. You have my heart JJ Abrams. My tiny, nerdy, lightsaber wielding heart. Don’t you break it, JJ. Don’t you break my heart!!!!

"So tell me JJ, what was up with the Lost finale?"

“So tell me JJ, what was up with the Lost finale?”

Trailer 4: Was excited, then wasn’t exited, and am now just sort of confused.

Jurassic World 

Not sure how to feel on this one. I mean on the one hand: Dinosaurs, Chris Pratt, and Dinosaurs. On the other hand the story doesn’t seem to do anything I haven’t seen before AT ALL, and the script writing seems a little suspect (though obviously I’m judging a ridiculously small sample size.)

I think Pratt will be really good but I’m not sold on the movie around him or Jurassic Park returning to it’s “look at these two children in peril storyline” which was the worst part of the entire first movie.

Trailer 5: Wasn’t excited, remain unexcited.

Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice 

Oh look it’s a big famous super hero and everything is all dark and gritty, and everyone hates Superman. Isn’t that new and different and exciting?? Oh wait, no it isn’t. I love the Dark Knight, I think it was fantastic, and dark, and fairly (as much as a super hero movie can be) realistic and harsh. But what Man of Steel did was take that dark, grittiness, and make something not just dark and gritty, but entirely joyless. It was a super hero movie so distracted by being “dark” that it forgot to make it’s characters interesting and give the audience the occasional break from the grit. Alfred and Bruce Wayne occasionally exchanged quips even as they were in the midst of a dark gritty film. Man of Steel had nothing like that and from all accounts this movie will be nothing but more of the same.

Fantastic Four looks much darker then the previous Fantastic Four movies (which is good) but it’s characters look like they have a sense of humor which makes them, ya know, interesting. Superman isn’t interesting in Man of Steel he’s just a handsome face that punches things. Now it looks like we’ll get some more handsome faces and more people punching each other in the face. It all looks very impressive but it’s just looking at the world through dark and darker tinted sunglasses. It’s a movie that’s all steel and no heart.

That said I’m not guaranteeing this’ll be a terrible movie. It’ll probably slide comfortably into the Man of Steel “decent action, meh overall” category.

And there you have it guys, me talking trailers, and being SUPER creepy with JJ Abrams. Just what you always wanted.

Comments
  1. Schofie says:

    Spot on. I feel %100 the same on each trailer. You have echoed my soul.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s