Well hello Internet and welcome to Saint Patrick’s day. A day famous for Saints, Patricks, drinking and… yeah pretty much just the drinking thing. But anyway, assuming you’re not drinking, or have finished drinking, or would like to be drinking but aren’t or whatever state of drinking or not drinking you happen to be in right now I’m sure you’re thinking to yourself “Man, I wish someone would tell me what movie I should watch today!!” Well random impressionable person, here’s a list of some movies just for you.

Top St. Patrick’s Day Movies 

For the ladies: Leap Year 

A movie starring Amy Adams and some slab of Irish, human person. Leap Year tells the story of a woman who wandered off to Ireland to propose to her boyfriend on leap day because according to some old tradition invented by Grandma Gillikans a man can’t refuse a proposal proposed on Leap Year day… wow that does not sound like a good premise does it? And in the premises defense it went on to not be all that awesome a movie. That said it’s a good movie and it will make your heartstrings go zing or zong or ttfn or whatever the kids heartstrings are doing these days.

For the men: Darby O’Gill and the Little People 

Ha ha… no. I’m kidding. I just wanted to type that out loud. Or whatever the blogging equivalent of that is. Also: Sean Connery.

If I were to sit down and try and try to make up the weirdest movie for Sean Connery to have been in, I could not do nearly as well as this movie. That he was actually in.

If I were to sit down and try and try to make up the weirdest movie for Sean Connery to have been in, I could not do nearly as well as this movie. That he was actually in.

For the men: Gangs of New York

There you go guys. An excuse to watch a Scorsese film featuring an incredible performance by Daniel Day-Lewis (as if there were any other kind), one of the earliest sighting of Leonardo Decaprio after he molted his horrifyingly terrible Titanic skin, and (in his first of many appearances on this list) Liam Neeson. Because Ireland without Liam Neeson is like a delicious pepperoni pizza without the pepperonis. Like a majestic grizzly bear without the grizzle. Like a beautiful death swan without its samurai sword…

What was I talking about?? Oh yeah, so Gangs of New York is a great, guys movies for St. Patrick’s day. It’s got Irish people, and horrendous horrible terrible horrible terrible violence that if you don’t drink already, will probably push you in that direction. So you’re welcome guys, you’re welcome.

Also: this mustache!!

Also: this mustache!!

For the History Buffs: Patrick 

So “Patrick “is a VERY somber take on the life of the aforementioned Saint, probably don’t watch this before you wander off with your friends to your local Happy Fun Day Party Times House… or wherever the kids are hanging out these days. That said it’s very interesting and (of course) narrated by Liam Neeson.

For… pretty much everyone: Michael Collins

Michael Collins is probably/definitely/with-no-doubt-whatsoever my favorite movie on this list. It’s historical (war for Irish independence), it has action (war for Irish Independence), a love triangle (war for… what’s-her-name) and (of course) Liam Freekin’ Neeson (war for awesome.) How are you not already watching this movie?? It even (as though you needed another reason to watch it) has Alan Rickman in it!! Seriously, why aren’t you watching this right now?? Why am I not watching that right now???

Liam Neeson: The most Saint Patricky thing since the actual Saint.

Liam Neeson: The most Saint Patricky thing since the actual Saint.

P.S. Just as a disclaimer: this movie has Julia Roberts in it. The fact that it has Julia Roberts in it (with the additional handicap of her having a HORRIBLE Irish accent) and I think it’s a good movie still should give you an idea of how good a movie this is.

Special Bonus Movie advice: Just go watch a Liam Neeson movie. Literally any Liam Neeson movie. Watch Love Actually which is arguably the most British movie ever made, it doesn’t matter. Liam Neeson is practically St. Patrick at this point. If we learned anything from last weeks blog about St. Patrick’s history it was that St. Patrick would probably not approve of his own holiday. You know who does approve?? Liam. So go watch a Liam Neeson movie. It’s what Liam would want. It’s what Ireland would want. It’s what I want.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day.

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