Kingsman: The Secret Service

Posted: March 5, 2015 by Micah in Randomnicity

Well hey there interfolk, and welcome to another day, and another movie review here on Thoughts We Might Have Had!! It’s a party, it’s a privilege, it’s something I do out of a complete and uncontrollable compulsion regardless of the millions of people who each and every day, do not come to this blog. So welcome ye, lucky few, and here is a film review.

I can never decide between new shoes and a new gun...

I can never decide between new shoes and a new gun…

Kingsman: The Secret Service 

A movie I watched in the weird, bizarre, stuck at a movie theater weekend I had a couple weekends ago, Kingsman is the story of a super secret group of super spies, living super lives, in some super suits.

Don't even say it...

Don’t even say it…

The Plot: So there’s this guy named “Eggsy” and he is a young ruffian child typed person. One of those kids who stand on street corners calling people “tossers” and telling them their ties don’t match their shoes, or that their shoes are slightly unpolished, or whatever British people do when they’re trying to be mean to each other.

Anyway, he gets brought into the Kingsman trials by his father’s old partner, a man by the name of Harry Hart and his heart is filled with hairy, hairy love for the plight of young Eggsy (I promise I didn’t make that name up.)  So he puts Eggsy in the Kingsman trial program so that Eggsy can almost get drowned, squashed, shot, and poisoned… cause he likes him.

Now, a Kingsman is like a spy except for… nah they’re pretty much all spies. But they’re super good spies who wear awesome suits all the time so… points there. So, does Eggsy have what it takes to take it to be another other stuffed shirted British person in the British even more secret, secret service? What’s going on with this Valentine person? And why on earth is his name Eggsy??

You're hero everyone!

You’re hero everyone!

The Pros:

It’s hard to quantify Kingsman… On the purely positive side the cast is really great. Collin Firth and Sam Jackson turn in great performances and relative newcomer Taron Egerton (Eggsy) is pretty good as well. It’s a very solid cast on the whole with no real discernible weak points.

The script is good, and appropriately clever for a movie like this that spends a good portion of itself making fun of said self.

The Cons:

The whole movie just has a bit of an “off” feel to it. I can’t really quantify it but you get the feeling at points that it’s fighting against itself a bit. Trying to strike a balance between gore and comic book that it never seems to get one-hundred percent right. At times the gore was a little out of place, at times the fact that it cut out or didn’t go certain places felt a little weird. It was a movie that wasn’t entirely sure what was going on with itself and as such it was kind of hard to tell for sure how I felt about it.

It’s also incredibly predictable, which is weird for a movie that blatently makes fun of the older spy movies. Literally everything you expect to happen in this movie… will happen. Everytime.

In Conclusion:

Kingsman: The Secret Service is a good movie. It’s not great, it doesn’t reach new heights or set itself apart from the crowd but it is decidedly: good. It’s anchored by a good cast and features a well written script. It can’t entirely escape some of the cliche’s it is deliberately poking fun at and at times it doesn’t seem entirely at peace with it’s R rating but on the whole it’s a good film.

I don’t like reviewing good films. I like reviewing great films, and I have fun reviewing bad films. But good films are hard to go nuts on cause they’re just sort of good. Should you see it? Meh. It depends. Do you like this sort of “cleverly humored action movie” then yes. But if you don’t know. It’s not a movie everyone should watch nor is it a movie everyone should avoid. It’s just sort of a movie.

I give it 3 Eggsy’s over Easy, out of 5.

So there you have my review of Kingsman: The Secret Service. It was a movie. You’re welcome, America.

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