5 Movie Predictions for 2015

Posted: January 2, 2015 by Micah in Randomnicity

Well hey Internet, and welcome to 2015. Congratulations!!! You made it. Well done. You survived another revolution around that crazy sun of ours, congratulate yourself, have a snack. And now get back to work drone!! 2015 ain’t gonna pave itself… or something.

So anyway, today we’re gonna go ahead and make 5 big old predictions for the coming year. And not important predictions about society or anything, unimportant and largely inaccurate predictions about movies. Speaking of my inaccurate predictions, before we celebrate the things I’m making up this year, let’s take a look back at last year predictions and how I did!!

Micah’s Predictions for 2014

The Rock wins the battle of the Hercules… Herculi??

Wow, well I was right about that. Though I don’t know that “wins” is the best word. The Rock’s Hercules (gripping entitled “Hercules”) certainly lost less then the other Hercules (“The Legend of Hercules”) which was probably one of the worst movies released this year. Whereas the Rock’s Hercules was just sort of “Meh.” But still: I was right!! 1 for 1 baby!

Godzilla wins the Battle of re-boots that no one asked for.

Man, I was right here too. I mean the other re-boots were Ninja Turtles (horrible) Transformers 4 (somehow worse) Annie (a huge pile of steaming “meh”) and Robocop (which I don’t think anyone in the world actually watched.) Godzilla wasn’t great and featured a surprising lack of Godzilla but it was definitely the best of the re-boot movies of 2014. Man, I’m doing much better then I thought I would; cause (full disclosure) I didn’t remember a single one of these until I looked them up and I’m just going one by one down the list. So far we’re 2 for 2 and looking good!!

This is a shot of Godzilla leaving the movie once his 15 minutes of screen time was done.

This is a shot of Godzilla leaving the movie once he realized they didn’t actually need him to be in it. 

Theater nerds hate on Into the Woods for no reason.

Well there goes my streak. I’ve been immensely surprised at how much people (Even musical theater people) have liked this movie. I mean musical theater people are practically impossible to get behind anything. They’re right up there with comic book nerds, and celebrity chefs on the “hard to please” scale. I’ll do a full review of Into the Woods later on but for now it’s enough to say that I spend large portions of the movie envisioning various grisly deaths for Jack the beanstalk boy. Still though 2 for 3 ain’t bad, I feel good, bring on the next one!

Batman vs. Superman, the Avengers, and Star Wars will all release trailers and end the world as we know it.

Not sure what to do with this one… I mean Avengers 2 and Star Wars did and they were great (Avengers 2 being especially awesome) but Batman vs. Superman got pushed back a year because DC decided they wanted cameo’s from EVERY COMIC BOOK CHARACTER EVER in it. So I was mostly right about this… I’m giving myself half a point here. Which puts me at 2.5 out of 4.

The number 1 grossing movie will be: Guardians of the Galaxy.

Wait a second I was right on that??? Wow… with 332,862,030 Guardians of the Galaxy beat out Hunger Games for best movie. I realize that seems super obvious but bear in mind that a year ago hardly anyone knew what Guardians of the Galaxy was… I’m impressed with me.

So that’s 3.5 out of 5 that I got right. Man… now I feel all pressured to succeed with these. Like I assumed I would be way off on all of them and that I could just make up some other predictions but now I have to… try. That’s weird for me. So weird.

Micah’s 2015 Movie Predictions

Hotel Transylvania 2 wins the worst unnecessary children’s sequel competition.

And don’t think there won’t be competition for this. The minions are getting their own movie. Say what you want about them but we all thought Kronk was awesome in Emperor’s New Groove and his spin-off movie was horrible. There’s also another Alvin and the Chipmunks movie coming out this year so this isn’t at all a giveaway pick. It’s iffy, but if there’s one thing I can count on in this world.

Why???

Why???

The Jungle Book wins the battle of unnecessary reboots no one asked for.

Actually some interesting re-boots happening this year.  Terminator Genesiys (cause who needs spelling),  Frankenstein (looks good but has been re-booted four thousand times), The Fantastic Four (all due respect to the people making this but… this will suck) Agent 47 (cause someone watched the original Hitman and somehow thought they could make a good movie.) Jurassic World (looks a bit sketchy plotwise) Mad Max (who cares) The Spongebob Movie (… for some reason.)  Wow there are even more of these then I thought there were… So many re-boots. That said, the Jungle Book still looks the best, so that’s where my virtual not at all money is going.

Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 will be exactly as bad an idea as you think it is. 

Who green lit this movie?? What crazy person sitting around in their golden arm chair thought to themselves “Ya know what this world needs more of?? Paul Blart Mall Cop movies. That will guide us out of the darkness. There are a lot of unexplored Mall Cop jokes that we didn’t beat to death in the first movie.”

WWWWHHHHYYYYYYY??????????????

WWWWHHHHYYYYYYY??????????????

Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice will actually release a trailer and everyone will get excited because Superman will punch Batman. 

Say what you want about Zach Snyder but the man can direct a trailer. Bear in mind I still think the movie will be terrible, over complicated, unnecessarily serious, and get bogged down in it’s own weird compulsion to be ‘philosophical’ but I’m sure the trailer will be great and everyone will be excited and then the movie will still be crap.

And finally…

The Top Grossing movie of 2015 will be… Avengers 2: Age of Ultron

This may seem like an easy one but honestly it’s about fifty-fifty between this and Star Wars Episode 7. I don’t know many people who will say to themselves “Avengers?? Nah. Not interested.” At the same time I know VERY few people who will say, “New Star Wars movie without Hayden Christenson??? Nah.” But at the same time as that same time (and this is absolutely me playing the system) Star Wars comes out in December and will probably bleed some of it’s profits into January whereas Avengers comes out in March and will be making Disney money all the way through the year.

So there you go guys: five bold predictions!! Thanks for making this another fantastic year here at Thoughts We Might Have Had!! I appreciate so much all of your emails, messages, and followings! Looking forward to another great year!

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