A Day in the Life: Dragon Age Inquisition

Posted: November 20, 2014 by Micah in Movie Reviews
Tags: , ,

Internet!! Good to see you friends, family, interfamily, and other people… It’s been a good week!! A week filled with mayhem, murder, and some wholesale goat slaughter. I am of course referring to: Micah’s Annual Thanksgiving Dinner Extravaganza!! Ha ha no… I’m kidding, there aren’t THAT many dead goats at my dinner parties. I am referring to:

A Day in the Life: Dragon Age: Inquisition

First off props to my wife. I (for the most part) pretend to be a mature position successfully… forty percent of the time. This week it’s been about 1 percent. If that. Maybe .001 percent. So the fact that my wife still lives in the same house as me is a true testament to her greatness.

My adventure began when I adventurously selected to adventure as a Qunaari Warrior. Which is to say I was a huge giant person, wielding a huge giant sword, while having huge giant horns on his head. Which is to say, I made the anti-Micah.

"Helllllllloooooo, ladies."

“Helllllllloooooo, ladies.”

But anyway, apparently there’s a war on in Fereldon (the country my huge giant feet currently tread upon) and there are some angry mages and some angry Templars (who in this world are mage fighters and not, ya know, Nic Cage.) They both get together for some tea and some crumpets and some not-murder when someone comes to the party and blows that party up!! And not like on Twitter,  but like… blown up, explody death. I, however, survive the blown up explody death with nothing to show it but some glitter on my hand!

But it’s not just any glitter, no no no. It’s magical glitter. Glitter with powerful glitter power of power and that power can close the magical demon rifts that have been opening up all over Fereldon with all the speed of the opening of new McDonalds locations. And like McDonalds those little rifts are popping out all sorts of trouble that murders people and makes their cholesterol go through the roof… less so that second thing.

So once we’ve figured out that I hold the glitter-key to Demon-death, they go ahead and put me in charge of “The Inquisition”  because that’s what the game is called. “The Inquisition” is tasked with stopping the demon rifts, finding a way to end the mage/Templar conflict, and making sure all the various cats in the world can has their cheezeburgers. The problem with that is I currently have all the street cred of a male walrus on steroids so I set about trying to make people like me, mostly through the murder of other people… and also goats.

So the thing with the goats was that I came upon this bunch of people and I saved them by cutting some people into tiny fun sized pieces and then they turned around said they were hungry, and cold, and that I had probably gotten blood in their hair or something. So I murdered some goats. With ice  from my ice mage friend. I basically flash froze them into Goat Ramen.

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Goat, it’s what’s for dinner.

Once I was done with that, I found some crazy people in a temple, and then I found a letter from one dwarf to another drawf telling him where some valuable metal stuff was. This metal stuff is apparently useful for some sort of crafting thing where I can make stuff with which to better hit people, but it’s a great hitting people economy right now. I mean hitting people stock is WAY up and I see no need to try and improve on that.

Then I found what was easily the best thing ever: the buffalo quest. Yup, some dude lost a buffalo. If you can lose a buffalo, you obviously need help. I mean Buffalo are tough to lose, they don’t just decide they want to go drink from another river, Buffalo just want to roam. And play. With deer and antelope. And so I embarked on my greatest adventure, my quest, my search, my advenquerch!! And it will be great.

And that’s about as far as I got. At some point people keep telling me that our army needs horses, or swords, or ya know, men or something. But for the moment I’m still wandering around murdering people and livestock willy nilly and nilly willy… whatever those words mean.

And that’s Dragon Age so far friends. It’s been a wonderful ride, a great run, and I am so very excited to see what happens once I actually start doing the things my friends want me to do!!

And hey if you’ve fallen behind on our Thoughts We Might Have Had video series check out our latest video below.

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