Weekly Headlines: 11-18-2014

Posted: November 18, 2014 by Micah in Randomnicity

Well hey Internet, and welcome to another day, another dollar, another dance, that we call: Weekly Headlines.

In our lead story: DRAGON AGE 3 comes out today!!! This day!! To-day! Get your pants on and play some game America!!!—wait… so… okay. I’m good. I’d lost it for a second there, don’t know what I was thinking.

You don’t need pants to play Dragon Age.

Sean Bean is gonna star in a new six part crime drama called: The Frankenstein chronicles. On the plus side, Sean Bean is great and talented and wonderful… on the downside, Sean Bean in a series about someone coming back from the dead? An immortal who can’t die and Sean Bean who can’t stop dying??? This seems like an unfortunate recipe.

"One does not simply survive in a movie"

“One does not simply survive in a movie”

Hey they released a trailer for the new Divergent Series just in time for us to compare it to the new Hunger Games movie and realize how much dramatically better Hunger Games is!! The adventures of “Tris” and “four” could never compete with Katniss, Gale, and Peeta though I will say that against all odds the Divergent series succeeded in naming its characters something MORE stupid.

Speaking of the Hunger Games, the new movie comes out this very weekend. That’s right folks, strap on your bows, pretend to be hungry and lineup to watch, early reviews seem to say that the movie is descent but (kind of like I’ve been saying all along) doesn’t really hit a great climax and seems to suffer from an almost obnoxiously slow moving plot where we watch Katniss make a lot of sad faces because she misses Peeta (despite him being… ya know… Peeta.)

Rumors continue to abound that we can expect a trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens sometime by the end of the year. Though my money is on “trailer” meaning “a bunch of really fast images of people with lightsabers and some star wars music” but hey, I’ll take that. I mean it’s better then NOT having a bunch of really fast images of people with lightsabers and some Star Wars music.

In oldish news, Benedict Cumberbatch is (probably) Doctor Strange. And that America, is awesome. I’m in. Sold. Done. Marvel’s ability to make good decisions is practically unparalleled. I was legitimately concerned when Jaquin Phoenix (aka the creepy guy from Gladiator) was up for the role but I’m in for Cumberbatch. He’s perfect. Now I just have to wait like… a year and a half.

And speaking of Benedict Cumberbatch and the things that make awesome stuff awesome, today is the birthday of one: Stephen Moffat. The writer of Doctor Who, Sherlock, and (the less well known but still awesome) Jekyll. You’ve given us so much joy Mr. Moffat… in such a horrifying terrible wonderful scary stone angel of death sort of way.

Thanks for the Nightmares Stephen.

Thanks for the Nightmares Stephen.

And finally: STAY AWAY CHRISTMAS!!! It is not your turn yet. Here are the rules, and they are simple.

Rule 1: You cannot celebrate a major holiday until it is the nearest major holiday. It’s not rocket science. It is (in point of fact) not science at all. It’s basic logic.

Too true Mr. Turkey. Too true.

Too true Mr. Turkey. Too true.

Rule 2: Christmas it awesome, the Christimas season, Christmas music, Christmas Spirit, all of it. It’s great. That said: the reason it works so well is because it’s a limited time thing. Even the most committed Christmas music fan is ready for a Christmas music break by the time Christmas hits. Especially if you listen to Christmas music radio where they play the same 10 songs for an entire month for absolutely no discernable reason.

Rule 3: See rule 1. Get some patience. Be thankful for Thanksgiving rather then just moving straight on to wishing it was Christmas. Calm down children. Calm down.

And there are your weekly headlines. Happy days to all, and to all a good night.

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