Mail We Might Have Got 11/13/14

Posted: November 13, 2014 by Micah in Randomnicity
Tags: , , , ,

Hey Internet, and welcome to the first ever Thoughts We Might Have Had all mailbag edition!! You guys have been awesome responding to the new email address ( so thanks to all of you here today is our first ever edition of:

Mail We Might Have Got

Kim – Hey Micah, I’m getting my drivers license soon! Any helpful advice to pass the test?

Hi Kim, awesome question, and as you move from not having a license and having to beg for a ride to get around, prepare for the next bold step on this road we call life: having a license and still having to beg for a ride. Cause unless your father is Bill Gates or Sleezy Freddy the Car Dealership man the closest you will get to owning a car for several years will be when your parents make you fill up the gas. Being a teenager with a drivers license is like being a rock with a degree in playing the harp. Sure it’s nice to have but no one will ever be giving you the tools you actually need to do anything with it.

Unless that is (like me) you come from a large family in which case you will be using your license A LOT but never to actually go anywhere that you want to go. You will become a taxi driver but without any of the usual taxi driver benefits such as: being paid  or not having calculus homework. You will instantly become the best option for your siblings to get anywhere so I hope you enjoy soccer practices and Buzz Lightyear birthday parties Kim. You’ll be seeing a lot more of them.

This is your life now, Kim. This is your life.

This is your life now, Kim. This is your life.

As far as passing the actual test goes bear in mind that the person who will be testing you DOESN’T CARE. They don’t want to be your friend or think about your life, that person just wants to walk away from your drivers test with roughly the same amount of limbs that he (or she) had when they arrived. Your biggest obstacle here Kim, is probably nerves so feel free to say “hi” to the person when they get in the car and then just ignore them. Forget they’re there. I’m sure your (mostly) a great driver, who (mostly) won’t get into a fire car crash. Also: No one parallel parks. Ever. So don’t sweat that part. Hit that tire. Defy the Judge person to Judge you on your inability to do something you will never have to do. He might as well not give you your license because you lack the ability to sing all the lyrics to “Shake it Off” as you are hit with a live jackal.

So hang in there Kim, stay calm, do your best, keep your hands on some clocks, and you’ll do great.

Aaron – what video games are you playing right now?

Like right this minute? Or generally? Generally I’m still playing a little bit of Hearthstone though I feel the matchmaker on that game think I’m WAY better at it then I actually am. I also eagerly sit in ancticipation of Dragon Age 3 being released next week. Dragon Age is basically the holy grail of RPG’s for me and while the sequel sucked the third one seems to have gone back to the awesome roots of its founding father. I’m already coming up with unnecessarily complicated backstories for my characters and trying to decide which class I’m playing as first. The anticipation here is ridiculous. I mean, the last time I was this excited for a game it was Mass Effect 3 and that came out while I was in grad school. I had a dorm room to myself back then and I quite literally got the game and then barricaded myself in my room for about 48 hours. Skipped classes, meals, meaningful social interactions, large portions of the thousands of dollars I dropped for my education were metaphorically lit on fire for the pure fact that I had an entire made up galaxy waiting for me save it.

Now I have an entire made up Kingdom being eaten by dragons or bears or… potentially rifts in the space time continuum… or something.  The point is I’m it, and if it takes me gradually bankrupting my house, being absent from my job, and wearing nothing but pajamas for a week then that’s just what I’ll have to do. It’s the responsible thing.


Well of course I should go to work. But look at all these made up people who are pretend relying on me! I can’t just abandon them!

And finally:

Daniel – Should I just ask a girl out by saying it, or should I do a whole big thing to ask her out?

Well Daniel, that is a question that has plagued mankind for ages. Years. Centuries. Cavemen sat in caves and wondered quietly to themselves whether they should just grunt at their desired cavewoman or surprise her by hollowing out a mammoth and jumping out of it holding some shrubs and a ticket to Dinky the Dinosaurs Musical Extravaganza.

Unfortunately the answer is mostly “It Depends.” Generally speaking girls are more interested in a guy with confidence, facial hair, and rippling muscles like the rivers of Egypt… but barring those last two go with the confidence thing and just ask her straight up. Eyes locked, chest out, dramatically sweating in ways that she hopefully won’t notice.

Big productions are great and will flatter a girl to her tiny girl soul but honestly it’s not really first date material. If you’re hunting grouse you don’t loudly blow on a horn sing “you belong with me” and then start firing, you just start firing. Once you have the grouse though it’s nice to dress up, and do a little song and dance for it, just to remind that grouse that it’s your favorite grouse of all the grouse in all the world. Also, what’s a grouse? This is offensive isn’t it??

Oh yeah... that's offensive.

Oh yeah… that’s offensive.

And there you have it guys. Our very first ever mail-blog. Thanks reading, thanks for writing and keep those e-mails coming!!

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