Deserted Island Draft

Posted: July 14, 2014 by Micah in Randomnicity
Tags: , , , ,

Okay Internet so here’s the game. This weekend I was trying to mix it up, laugh it up, and break it down and what idea should occur to me but doing an awesome draft of awesome movies with the ever awesome Carey Nelson. So here’s the scenario: you’re going to be stuck on a deserted island  and you can only bring ten movies with you (nothing new there) BUT as an added wrinkle you can only draft one movie from each genre.

The following are the genres: Superhero/comic book movie, Romance, Comedy, Shakespeare, Sci-fi (futuristic), Fantasy (swords and magic etc), Zombie, Horror, Vampire, Animated.

All right those are the ten categories I got off the top of my head. Carey and me will be going back and forth with this draft so  have fun and let the games begin!

Micah: Wow it is a pain getting this app for your phone (I will be doing all of this via phone Carey because the Universe hates me!!) Anyway, just wanted to add another rule for no reason: only one movie series. So if you want to take The Matrix Trilogy that’s fine but once you’ve done that everything else has to be just a single movie. (Also: don’t draft the Matrix Trilogy)

Carey: Wait, why is there an entire vampire category??

Micah: Cause it’s awesome, and I needed ten categories mostly.

Carey:  I’ll have to research what my options are there because I know what I’m not going to pick.

Regardless, I think its a fairly safe choice to pick the original star wars trilogy for my only series as the sci fi pick.  I was raised on those movies, and apart from their inherit greatness they would also serve to remind me of home as I watch them on my desert island theater system.

Micah: That’s a great first pick. See, this is why I went with you for this draft: cause you chose the Star Wars trilogy for your first pick. Well done. I have zero criticism for that choice. I’m actually gonna jump over to the Zombie category and grab Zombieland. There’s maybe one other Zombie movie I can think of that I’d watch more than once (World War Z… maybe.) I feel like other categories have multiple movies that I can go with and be fine but due to the utter lack of movies in the Zombie grouping I’m grabbing Zombieland first. Hilarious and somewhat heartfelt with an awesome cast, there’s no other way to go.

Zombieland: the gold plated king of all zombie movies.

Zombieland: the gold plated king of all zombie movies… unless you ask Carey… or most people besides Micah.

Carey: And since I grabbed Star Wars first, I’ll polish off the zombie category with Shaun of the Dead.  As much as I love Zombieland, Shaun of the Dead > Zombieland.

Micah: Wow, I totally forgot about that movie! Well done, though I’d probably still go with Zombieland first, just cause I liked that cast a little better. Very well done for you though. Let’s see I suppose while I’m picking movies in weak categories I’m gonna grab The Cabin in the Woods from the horror grouping! Cause Joss Whedon is my homeboy, Thor drives a motorcycle into a magical dome, and I pretty much hate every other horror movie ever.

Carey: Horror will be another hard category for me.  So I’m going to hop over  to Shakespeare.  I’ve seen maybe 5 or so actual Shakespeare films (Gibson Hamlet, Branaugh Henry, Mckellen Macbeth, 5 min. of some creepy Macbeth, and the trailers for Hellen Mirren and other people in the Tempest) and while they were all fine and dandy if I’m stranded on a deserted island I’ll have enough drama in my life so I want something more lighthearted.  I want Joss Whedon’s [Shakespeare-lite?] Much Ado.  That black n white is gorgeous.  Also, who knew Clark Gregg could act??

Micah: Certainly not me, I figured he would just keep playing “Clark Gregg” in everything he was in! Great movie there!! Oka,y let’s see, I think I’ve weeded out the weaker categories at this point… I’m gonna go ahead and grab the original Underworld movie for my vampire movie. Important note: NOT the Underworld franchise. Two and four were horrible and horribler respectively, so I’m just grabbing the first one and running away like Michael Sheen and his mysterious ability to catch up with cars randomly… but only sometimes.

Carey: Still don’t know what I’m going to do there either.  I think that might be a movie I’ve never seen before so I can have some surprises on the island.

Ok, I choose Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World for my fantasy choice.  It has swords, magic, and etc. so I think it qualifies there easily.  Naturally I would much prefer the books, but since in my scramble for good quality entertainment during my banishment I only grabbed movies, that’s what I got.

Micah: It’s true, maybe we can do a book draft later. But way to go outside the box there!! I’m gonna go ahead and knock my fantasy out as well by staying solidly inside the box and grabbing The Lord of the Rings trilogy! Both awesome and extremely long (DAYS worth of viewing)! Perfect for my deserted island timetable!

Carey:  You know, I was 95% sure you were going to go with Nolan’s Batman trilogy, but that other 5% lingered saying, “surely SOMEONE (of the two of us) will pick LotR!” Would you believe I’ve only seen the Return of the King once?  I saw them all in theaters when they came out and that was it! I’m a terrible person–I know.

Micah: Wow you haven’t seen the extended editions????? Carey, I am shocked, appalled, and devestated and… kinda hungry… but that’s a separate issue.

Carey: At one point I owned the extended box set, but someone borrowed them, and now he lives in China.

I’m learning lots about some very interesting sounding vampire movies that I’ve never seen. But I’m not ready to commit yet.  That may be my penultimate choice of the draft so I have to build to it.

In the superhero category I will throw in with the Avengers.  Why?  Well, as much as I love the original Iron Man and many of the other movies, Avengers will let me get Iron Man, Thor, Chris Evans, and all those others in ONE MOVIE.  ECONOMICS!

Micah: Well done there! Way to support the environment! I think you should draft a Twilight movie just in case you ever want a reason to claw your own eyes out on the island! Yeah I have the extended Lord of the Rings, I’m feeling an all day marathon coming on!!

Okay so, I’m gonna jump on the comics train here and take the only movie you really need ever in the world: The Dark Knight!! As much as I love the whole trilogy this is the only one you really need and unlike The Lord of the Rings this movie totally stands on its own like a colossus bestriding (that may not be how you spell the word I’m looking for but it could be also be just beast riding and that would be fine) the Batman franchise!

The Dark Knight: because duh.

The Dark Knight: because duh.

Carey: I always leaned towards Batman Begins, but I think that was because it was the forerunner.  But no one can really argue the greatness of The Dark Knight (although I could say plenty about the bloated third movie).

Ok, I want everyone right now to go and watch the trailer for Nicolas Cage’s Vampire’s Kiss.  Just do it, and please don’t hurt me afterwards.

Are you ready for my Romance pick?  I am.  Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.  BAM.  Romance? absolutely.  Sam Rockwell and Martin Freeman fighting over Zooey Deschanel in a spaceship one of them stole from himself while looking for the ultimate question all while being narrated by Stephen Fry and commented on by Mos Def and Alan Rickman?  Nirvana.  Not to mention Underworld’s own Slartibartfast!  Yup, that’s my kind of romance movie.  “Hugs and kisses, Zaphod.”

Micah: Well done for you! I still haven’t seen that movie, though I apparently really need to!! Loved the book, and the cast sounds stellar! Okay, while we’re stretching the romance tag as far as possible, I’m gonna choose Stranger Than Fiction, great movie starring Wil Farrell and Emma Thompson. Seriously underrated for both it’s sweetness and it’s genuinely hilarious, quirky sense of humor! One of my favorites!

Carey: Great movie! One of my good friend’s forced me to borrow it from him once and watch it.  I’m glad he did.  Although I don’t remember it that well I think you may be stretching the category more than me as the love triangle is one of the central conceits of Hitchhikers instead of the existential crisis of Stranger Than Fiction.

But no judgment from me.

Micah: Hey, there’s a great love story between Harold and Maggie”I did my best to ruin Dark Knight” Gyllenhall.

Carey: Oh yeah!  I forgot she was even in that movie.  Hmmm.

Still not ready for the vampire pick, but I’ve come across what seem to be some real gems.  George Clooney did on called from Dusk Till Dawn…I don’t think it’s going to make it.

Micah: Super weird movie. Trust me you want no part of it. Fright Night wasn’t horrible, but there’s a very high Collin Farrell “glowery glances” factor.

Carey: Then you aren’t referring to the 1985 “classic” Fright Night.

Micah: No, I am not. David Tennant or bust!!!

Carey: Well, now that we’ve discussed both of those I think it’s safe to take them off the table as options.  “But, Carey, what other vampire movies are there???”   Oh don’t worry, we’ll find something.

I know this is probably mostly because it was the most recent one I’ve seen.  I know there are probably other more solid, enduring, and respectable choices out there.  I know, I know, I know.  Still, I’m going to pick Neighbors for my comedy choice.  You know why?  Because Elizabeth and I both enjoyed it the same.  How many movies have we seen where I like or she likes it and the other one tolerates it?   Most all of them probably.  But Neighbors we both enjoyed (Zac Effron probably helped but….whatever), and both thought that it was very refreshing to see a fairly balanced marriage in a movie like that.  The husband and wife both were equally invested and to blame for everything.  They were a team rather than a “you’re so immature imma go live with mom/in the bar/in the shadows and kill people.”  So for better or worse, I pick Neighbors because it will remind me of my wife (who is probably not stranded on the island with me?).

Micah: There you go, yeah comedy is gonna be a tough category for me, so I (like any red blooded American) will ignore it. I’m gonna go over to Shakespeare and grab Kenneth Branaugh’s Hamlet! One of my favorite treatments of that script ever and also the longest! Perfect for my deserted island viewing (of forever long times!!) Also (aside from Branaugh’s awesomeness) the supporting cast in that movie is excellent!

Its a tough call between him and Tennant for “best Hamlet portrayal” but Branaugh’s supporting cast is miles better and puts his movie over the top!

Carey: Oh look, Peter (Milo V.) from Heroes was in a vampire movie.  Of course, he was in some other really terrible awful movies that no one should see ever so that’s not really a factor.  I’ve also heard a lot about this Lost Boys movie from 1987, but I’m a terrible gambler so I’m going to let it go (not true, I’m a decent gambler).

Micah: League of Extraordinary Gentlemen had a vampire in it. Not that it was an awesome movie but it’s something.

Carey: Oh yeah!  See that’s what I originally wanted to come up with was a movie very much not a vampire movie but had a vampire in it so it counted. However, it’s become a quest for me now, so I must not back down.  Still, if you want some more genre stretching: Monster House for my horror category.  What other horror movie could also be drafted for comedy or animated?  Also, what other movie features such comedy gold:

Boy: What’s that?

Girl: That must be the house’s uvula

Boy: Ooohhh, so it’s a girl house

Girl:  … No, stupid! Everyone has a uvula!

Well... this is horrifying.

Well… this is horrifying.

Micah: I have no idea what that is. But I trust you. Okay I’m just gonna go right on ignoring comedy and get my animated movie out of the way! How about a little Emperors New Groove!!! No other way to go for hilarity and awesomeness! Easily my favorite animated movie ever though I suppose I could have flexed it into comedy but whatever…. I’ll take a stand on that as well and try and come up with something more solidly in the genre.

Carey:  What an unbelievably quotable movie. Great pick. Ok, ok, two categories left, and I will try very hard to stay solidly in the genre.  You know, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter was the first movie we took our two sugar gliders to.  They slept through the whole thing.  That movie had awesome axe action galore.  But it is not my pick. No, I must make my animated pick next, and for that I will choose Bioware’s Mass Effect 2.  What? Video games don’t count?  I mean, it’s like playing a movie. *sigh* Ok, while I’m tempted to say the original Disney Fantasia (to make sure I have some good classical music on the island) I think I’m going to go with Finding Nemo.  I refused to see Finding Nemo when it came out (because how could a movie set underwater be interesting), but soon learned to love it.  Also, I think it would be a good stranded on a desert island movie for obvious reasons.

Micah: Wow an unlikely choice but solid. No critique from me! Let’s see I’ve got comedy and sci-fi left…

Carey: You procrastinated, Micah.

Micah: Dude, I have a medal in that. A gold medal… That will be arriving soon. Maybe.

Anyway, I’m gonna choose Equillibrium. I’ve been working through this for a while and I just can’t think of a movie I’d rather watch! Great cast, surprisingly heartfelt, and AWESOME fight scenes!! Tough to beat.

Carey:  I haven’t seen that, but I do remember someone telling me about it once.  I don’t think it was you, so that’s two people I know that like it.

Micah: Dude that movie is on netflix. Drop everything you are doing and watch it.

Carey: So I should postpone my final pick until after I watch it?

Micah: Maybe. It is that awesome. I am even more shocked and more appaldered than before!

Carey: I’m sorry! If anything today I think I’ve proved my failure in movie knowledge.  Regardless, it comes to this.  My vampire movie…

Did you know that there was a Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie before the show?  It had Donald Sutherland in it.  He was great in Pride and Prejudice.

Dracula.  Specifically the Dracula with Gary Oldman and Anthony Hopkins because they are two of the three reasons this is my pick.  My third reason is that it all started with Dracula.  Thus today, my choices all end with Dracula.

Micah: wait the one with Gary Oldman and Keanu Reeves???

Carey: I have no idea if Keanu Reeves is in there, but Oldman is Dracula and Hopkins is Helsing I believe.

Micah: if it’s the one I’m thinking with Oldman it is WONDERFULLY horrible.

Carey: That’s what I’m counting on!

Micah: All right, time for a comedy… Hmmm….

Micah: Okay sorry for the delay. I had a Nancy Drew related emergency. Ya know what?? I’m going old school! Really old school!! I’m picking Animal Crackers!! An old old Marx Brothers movie!! I grew up on the Marx Brothers and choose to honor them upon my island!

Carey: I just watched Duck Soup two weeks ago!  Fantastic choice.

Micah: Animal Crackers is my favorite but Duck Soup is great! I have a bunch on DVD if you want to watch them! So is that it? We done?

Carey: Here’s the breakdown:

Superhero/comic book movie-

C: The Avengers (5)

M: The Dark Knight (5)


C: The Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy (6)

M: Stranger Than Fiction (6)


C: Neighbors (7)

M: Animal Crackers (10)


C: Joss Whedon’s Much Ado (3)

M: Kenneth Branaugh’s Hamlet (7)

Sci-fi (futuristic)-

C: original Star Wars Trilogy (1)

M: Equilibrium (9)

Fantasy (swords and magic etc)-

C: Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World (4)

M: Lord of the Rings trilogy (4)


M: Zombieland (1)

C: Shaun of the Dead (2)


M: The Cabin in the Woods (2)

C: Monster house (8)


M: Underworld (3)

C: Dracula (10)


M: The Emperor’s New Groove (8)

C: Finding Nemo (9)

If anything I think we’ve decided that we need to have a few movie nights very soon.

Micah: Too true! Still though we kicked this thing’s butt!! Well done for us! And thanks for signing on Carey!

Carey: Thanks for having me!

Micah: We shall have to do a TV show one next and maybe a video game one down the line!

Carey: You’re really going to test the extent of my knowledge with TV, but I could probably knock video games out of the park.  Also, I just want to say that I am incredibly impressed that you did this from your phone.

Micah: It was not easy!! But I muddled though with some on the fly editing from you!!

So there you go Internet, America, people who like Carey Nelson way better than me (which I totally understand), the deserted Island draft no one asked for!! Thanks for reading and we’ll see you Thursday!


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