So Judging Covers is back!! How I missed such things! I’m not gonna lie I mostly totally forgot that I did this at all! But now that I’ve remembered, let’s go ahead and watch some trailers and then judge them unfairly based purely on that!!

Unbroken– In theaters 12/25/14

Wow… this movie looks insane. I have nothing funny to say about this… except that the guy does have some really creepy facial hair… he looks like a super dirty Frenchmen… seriously though, this looks awesome. I want to watch it but… probably not on or around Christmas, it does not exactly scream “holiday spirit.” Wow, that was a downer to start this Trailer judging off on… what do I have that’s light on superfluous?

Penguins of Madagascar – In theaters 11/23/14

Okay, I’ve never been a huge fan of the Madagascar series because the main characters were always SUPER annoying while the supporting character (the penguins and King Julien) were just funny enough to make me watch it (meaning not only did I not like the movies but I also HAD to watch them just for the five to ten minutes of genuine funny.) So now we’ve cut out the main characters and have made the Penguins the new focus??? Dude, sign me up!! (though if there’s not a King Julien cameo I will be GROSSLY disappointed… which now that I think about doesn’t make a ton of sense… what will I, not take a shower for several days and then be disappointed?? Lather myself in spoilt goose grease and THEN be disappointed?… that actually sounds awesome… sorry, what were we talking about?)

The Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 1 – In theaters 11/21/14

So that’s a “teaser” and does nothing for Mockingjay except to remind me how much I dislike Peeta. The jerk. And now he’s in a white suit on a white background standing next to a white dude named Snow… white. Tee-hee. Yeah, this trailer tells me nothing and the fact that it’s a “Part 1” means that this movie will move slow and have no real climax… yay.

Dracula Untold – In theaters 10/17/14

Is it just me or does this movie look kind of awesome? Like REALLY awesome. This thing just made my must see list. Luke Evans looks awesome, the storyline seems solid and interesting, and Dracula’s powers seem awesome!! Could this movie save vampires from Edward Cullen?

The Expendables 3 – In theaters 8/15/14

Ha ha. I don’t care.

Gone Girl – In theaters  10/3/14

Well I’m creeped out. I will probably watch this movie but only in a well lit room with a GPS tracker injected into my blood. Gives me the jibblies…

Thank you, Strongbad.

Thank you, Strongbad.

Exodus: Gods and Kings – In theaters 12/12/14

It’s Egyptian Batman!!! I mean, Christian Bale… and Joel Edgerton??? Who both look surprisingly Egyptian for being two ridiculously non-egyptian white people. There should probably be some “No Egyptians were used in the making of this film” disclaimer on this movie. That’s probably unfair… I’m sure there were some Egyptians in the background there… probably playing Israelites.

So, there you go guys!! An old friend resurrected from the grave! Brought back from the edge of disaster, the edge of oblivion, the edge of tomorrow (starring Tom Cruise.) And speaking of tomorrow, I will see you all when I post again on Monday (which in no way links up to me speaking about tomorrow)!!


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