Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Posted: May 22, 2014 by Micah in Randomnicity
Tags: , , ,

Well hey audience, in the last couple weeks a lot of people have asked me questions about the whole Batman vs. Superman and I (on the whole) have ignored them entirely. This is mostly because the movie doesn’t come out for TWO YEARS and there will be more than enough time for me to freak out in that time but recent developments have left me no choice but to speak my piece… whatever that means.

First off let’s take a look at this:

Oh Sad-batman... cheer up sir!!

Oh Sad-batman… cheer up sir!! Also: what is that behind you?? Cheer up and turn around Batman!! Turn around!! 

Aside from all the hilarious memes that have been born out of this, I have no real problem with the costume. The new Batman has tiny ears and a HUGE batman symbol  but that’s okay. I mean, it’s not as bad as it could be. Here’s the thing (and forgive me if this is a little repetitive) while it’s easy to do Batman wrong (hello George Clooney) doing Batman right does not necessarily guarantee you a good movie. It’s not super hard to do Batman right: glowery face, rough voice, parent issues, cool looking costume. What makes a Batman movie good or bad only has a tiny little bit to do with Batman and EVERYTHING to do with the characters around him. Chris Nolan’s Batman movies are awesome cause they have awesome villains. Clooney’s Batman sucked not because of George Clooney (though he didn’t help a lot) but because they had HORRIBLE villains. Batman is (a very very cool) constant, around which a very interesting cast of characters revolves. Let us just say this then: the Batman costume is pretty good. Unfortunately this does not mean anything about what sort of movie this will be.

Ya know what does speak to that?? The movie’s title.

Oh... that's why Batman was sad...

Oh… that’s why Batman was sad…

That’s right folks Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. First off: the people at DC do know that the abbreviation for versus is vs right? Not v, v is the roman numeral symbol for five. So essentially we have just named this movie Batman 5 Superman: Dawn of Justice. Are there five supermen? Or is this the fifth Batman? Why is there a 5??? What is happening? Surely there wasn’t some big executive meeting where someone said:

“What if we just took the “s” off of verses? I mean “v” looks much better than “vs”  right? I’m sure no one will question that decision!”

But this is not my chief concern for this movie. My chief concern is the whole “Dawn of Justice” thing. DC’s desperate attempt to keep up with Marvel’s Avengers has always been a little concerning to me. You always got the sense marvel had this huge longterm plan  when they came up with the Avengers. Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America had awesome solo movies and you just kind of got the feeling throughout that they all interconnected very nicely. Hulk kind of came out of nowhere but Hulk’s film destiny always laid with him being sort of a minor character. It’s one thing to watch a guy genuinely struggle with his powers and his ability to come off as normal for twenty minutes of a 2 hour movie, but watching him do that for an entire two hours is just dumb. The point is though, Marvel carefully crafted a universe that accepted heroes and then wove those heroes together into one movie. They are (in this particular and very weird illustration) the turtle. They were slow, steady, and they are now fabulously wealthy… which I think is how that story ends.

DC comics saw that and thought “man we need to get in on that we need to make a Justice League movie” (Justice League is essentially Avengers accept, ya know, suckier) but the problem was the only movie franchises they had were Chris Nolan’s now finished Batman series, and the frankly HORRIBLE green lantern movie. So now we’re fast tracking things, we made a Superman movie that was only kind of… weird… if not necessarily bad. The problem is that rather than letting the rest of their universe come together a piece at a time DC threw  Batman into their next Superman movie. Then it came out that Wonder Woman would also be making a cameo and then more than a cameo and now we’re at today (or more accurately yesterday) and the official naming of Batman 5 Superman: Dawn of Justice.

Basically what that title lets us know is that they aren’t even trying anymore. This movie is purely a bridge to the bigger better movie that they actually want to make. These are the same people who made a Superman movie that could most accurately be described as “passable” and now not only are they making a far more complicated movie with TONS of moving parts but they essentially just proclaimed to everyone that this isn’t the movie that they actually want you to watch. Now, I’m not saying this movie will be 100 percent horrible, I’m just saying the absolute most I am expecting out of this is another “passable” movie. And it really is a shame.

So there you go guys I have just spent the last several hundred words talking about a movie that is still two years away! You’re welcome, goodnight, and good weekend!

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