Hey everyone and welcome to Thursday famed for its chili, its coastal views, and for being the day before Friday (as told to us long ago by Rebecca Black.) Today though is a special Thursday, a Thursday that will no doubt be remembered forever because of… reasons. I think.
But as far as the blog goes it’s probably gonna be fairly straightforward. For those of you who have asked: no I haven’t seen Spiderman 2 yet… or the Amazing Spiderman 2… or the Extraordinary Awesome Spiderman 2 of Sweetness… whatever it is we’re calling that thing. I haven’t seen it. What I have seen though are the box office top ten!! And thusly I present…
The Box Office Top Ten 5/15/2014
Number 10: Brick Mansions
Paul Walker’s very last movie Brick Mansions is (with all due respect) kind of a terrible movie. Not as terrible as some movies on this list but still pretty terrible. Something about dystopian Detroit (which is to say: Detroit) and a lot of mansions and an even bigger mansion run by some policemen. It’s all very confusing, and now I’m done with it.
Number 9: Divergent
Hey this thing is still around!! Tris still confused as to which particular group of complete jerks she should join, before joing the biggest jerks and being surprised that everyone treats her like a jerk. (I wrote a full review here)
Number 8: Legend of Oz: Dorothy’s Return
Yeah… I don’t care. Don’t watch this.
Number 7: Mom’s Night Out
I promise you’ve seen this movie. Over-worked mom goes out to enjoy a night off and various hilarious hijinks ensue and mom learns that she loves her life and bla-de bla bla. You’ve seen it, you’ve done it, you’ve owned it and you have probably enjoyed those versions more than this one.
Number 6: Rio 2
I have yet to meet an actual person who has watched either of these movies. I begin to be convinced that the whole thing was funded by a rich Russian billionare who really likes blue birds and flight related comedy.
Number 5: Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Still going strong with snappy dialogue and spangly shields, if you haven’t seen Captain America you should watch it. Now. Go. … Are they gone?
Number 4: Heaven is for Real
A movie about a guy named Todd Burpo… tee-hee and his little boy who almost dies or does die, or might die. Could die. Something about dying… and he sees Heaven. And it’s for real. Or for realsies.
Number 3: The Other Woman
Remember a few weeks ago when I told you this was a terrible movie? It still is.
Number 2: Amazing Spiderman 2
Very surprising that Amazing Spiderman 2: Electro’s Electric Boogaloo got taken down already but is still made 35.5 Million last week so… it’s not exactly hurting for cash. That said most people have agreed that Amazing Spiderman 2 is pretty good (if not awesome) but I shall have to judge such things for myself… eventually.
Number 1: Neighbor’s
A surprisingly well reviewed Seth Rogan comedy Neighbors tells the story of a young couple forced to live next to a frat house. It’s supposedly (as I have not seen it) funny. And also VERY rated R. Very.
So there you go goes. The top ten of ye olde box office. Hail, farwell, and have a good weekend!