Well hey guys!! Happy Monday… ew… those words hurt. They are at natural war one with another, like Hatfields and McCoys, Verizon and AT&T, and France and… kind of everyone who’s not France. Anyway though, I believe it is now time for the very last of my Summer Question blogs… I think. Unless I come up with some other questions… which may happen… planning is not my strongest suit.
Question 1: What exactly is Guardians of the Galaxy?
Guardians of the Galaxy is pretty much The Avengers crazy cousin. The only question is what level of crazy will Guardians of the Galaxy be? Will it be the hilarious crazy person who eats nothing but chips and salsa and sings “Singing in the Rain” in a delightfully falsetto voice while swinging an actual lightsaber he built himself out of straw and lama spit? Or will he be the bad crazy who eats nothing but empty potato chip bags and sings nothing but the chorus of “It’s a Small World after All” while swinging around a lumpy rope made out of moose poop? Personally I think it’ll be a great movie! Just judging by the trailer we’ve already seen the movie seems to be striking a great balance between creating fun characters and a crazy world, while not letting things get to far out of hand.
Question 2: Is Lucy what Limitless should have been?
Maybe. For those of you who don’t know Limitless was a REALLY stupid movie about a guy who unlocks the full potential of his brain by taking some medication and then doesn’t make more of that medication for entirely stupid reasons. Lucy is a movie about a woman who is accidentally exposed to drugs and unlocks the full potential of her brainpower. But instead of doing what the guy in Limitless did (being an incredibly smart JERK) this girl develops awesome super-powers and reeks terrible vengeance on the people who accidentally expose her to said drug.
Question 3: Who asked for a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles live action movie?
Nobody. And nobody asked for Meghan Fox to be in it either while we’re talking about things people didn’t ask for. I mean, I have a lot of respect for the old classic cartoon series but giving Michael Bay a beloved childhood series to make a movie from is like giving a beloved Christmas Ham to a large and hungry polar bear for safe keeping. This is not gonna be a good experience for anyone, but ESPECIALLY for Ninja Turtle fans. I’m sorry guys.
Question 4: Why do they keep making Expendables movies?
I don’t know man. The first one was entertaining in a weird sort of “Aw… look at all the old people” sort of way. But the second one was just kinda sad and now a third one? When are you too old for movies about old people? Wasn’t the answer to that question: Exactly a movie ago? Cause I think it was.
So there you go guys, summer movie questions, summer movie answers. Wala. Abrakadabra. Bonjour. And other magical words!!