Hey the Internet! How’s the hpas? Haps the hows? And other things cool people say! This week is that awkward time in between when I watch awesome movies (like Captain America 2) and when I come up with something to actually blog about!! So while we wait for problem 1 to resolve itself and problem 2 to go away (probably never gonna happen) let’s take a look at this weeks box office and see what’s shaking!

Box Office Top Ten 4/14/14

10. Mr. Peabody and Sherman 

A movie about a time travelling dog and his child… is it just me or does that sound like some sort of dream that a seven year old had?? “Mom, I dreamed our dog was Dad and we flew back in time to see the Trojan army and their leader sounded like Kronk!!” Anyway it’s supposed to be a decent film though it’s not quite my “Kids movie special” for the week as that distinction goes to…

9. Muppets Most Wanted

This one!! Yay the muppets. I’m glad I live in a world where the Muppets are back!! Back in all their random, crazy cameod, frogs and pigs somehow falling in love and that not being SUPER creepy, awesomeness. Though I sort of ruined it now didn’t I? … ew.

8. The Grand Budapest Hotel

It’s a Wes Anderson movie. It’ll be weird and charming and have lots of humor punctuated by awkward silences and quirky people. If you like Wes Anderson movies then yay. If not then continue as you were. Wes Anderson has made a career out of appealing to a niche audience and he seems completely okay with continuing to do that. Kind of like me!! Except my niche is four people on a blog, and his niche is millions of people… but whatever… we’re very similar.

Because it's a Wes Anderson film... that's why.

Because it’s a Wes Anderson film… that’s why.

7. God’s Not Dead

I do not know what this movie is about… something about a philosophy class and a student… and things. That said at least it’s not a movie that tries to simultaneously teach biblical truths while featuring battles between huge rock monsters/fallen angels. Speaking of which…

6. Noah

I’m really not gonna get into the controversy on Noah. I’m just not. Just know that if you’re looking for the book of Noah to be realized on film (yes that was a Bible joke) this is NOT that movie. That movie does not exist. Let’s face one thing right now: if you made a movie based only on the Bible events of Noah that movie would be roughly thirty minutes long and not all that exciting. Now… does that mean your Noah movie has to feature rock monsters battling it out with an army of Roman soldiers and cat people?? Probably not… and I only made up some of those.

"I'm getting on that boat!!!... Assuming I'm in the movie..."

“I’m getting on that boat!!!… Assuming I’m in the movie…”

5. Divergent 

This movie’s still around!! And hey I posted a full review of this already! I still don’t really understand the cast system but beyond that it’s all good! People punch each other and jump off of trains for inexplicable reasons and there’s a magical instant tattoo machine run by Maggie Q.

4. Draft Day 

This is a movie about the Browns. NFL football franchise. The Browns. What more do you need to know? It’ll probably start out really well with a lot of promise and then mid-way through it will blow out it’s knee, forget how to throw strikes, or sign with Miami… sorry for that Cleveland.

3. Oculus

Yes it’s a horror movie… but it’s a horror movie starring Karen Gillan (Amy from Doctor Who)!! It’s like an episode of Doctor Who but without the Doctor and horrifyingly more terrible and bloody and horrendous… So not really that much like an episode of Doctor Who… also I miss Doctor Who.

sniff....

sniff….

2. Rio 2

This is one of those movie series that everyone seems to love… but nobody seems to have watched. If you’ve watched Rio OR Rio 2 raise your hands… see that? No one. I assume.

1. Captain America: The Winter Soldier

I haven’t seen this… I refuse to spoil it for myself… But everyone loves this movie. Comic book nerds, regular people with actual lives, EVERYONE. Every. Mothers. Son.

So that’s it guys, the top ten. And hopefully upon Thursday I will review ye old Captain America! See you then!!

Comments
  1. Tim Snyder says:

    i saw the wes anderson movie this weekend. it was okay at best. i see noah is still lingering on the box office list

  2. Tim Snyder says:

    captain america is still dominating. of course, there is no real challengers

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